Hogwarts watches 'A Very Potter Musical'
by Evanescencefan97
Summary: It is Harry Potter's fifth year at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry with a certain toad face professor. What happens when that professor discovers a certain play and decides to use it as an attempt to prove Harry Potter is a liar? Rated T for some swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi again everyone. This story is what happens when Hogwarts with some special guests watch 'A Very Potter Musical'. It makes sense to watch AVPM first so you know what I'm talking about. I know electricity doesn't work in Hogwarts, but just pretend it does for the sake of the story. Hope you guys like it and here is the first chapter.**

**Listening to Nemo- Nightwish**

It was another morning at Hogwarts in 1995. Professor Umbridge had recently found a play that she hoped would expose all of Potter's lies about the return of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Making sure to take the laptop containing the play with her before going to breakfast, Doroles Umbridge entered the great hall. Looking around at all of the students, and noticing members of the Order and the whole Weasley family huddled in a corner, she stood up to make an announcement.

"Good morning children and guests," she said with a sickly sweet smile. "Today, I would just like to say that class has been cancelled for the day."

This was met with many cheers including the Weasley twins who yelled "Yeah! Who knew Toad Face would let us miss classes." This was met with glares by Hermione and said Toad Face.

Professor Umbridge continued.

"We shall be watching a musical about one of our students here."

At this point, she looked directly at Harry who groaned and put his head in his hands. Professor Umbridge gave another one of her sickly smiles before conjuring a table to put the laptop on. Those who were sitting got out of their chairs and surrounded the laptop. So that everyone could see, Umbridge took out her wand, pointed it at the laptop and said 'Engorgio' and 'Sonorus'.

"Let's watch shall we?"

**An upbeat tune started playing on the screen and text came up saying property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. There was laughter in the background and a boy with curly dark hair and glasses was on the screen. He began singing.**

'**Underneath these stairs**

**I hear the sneers and feel the glares**

**of my cousin, my uncle and my aunt.**

**Can't believe how cruel they are,**

**And it stings my lightening scar**

**To know they'll never ever give me what I want.'**

The twins burst out laughing at this.

"Wow, never knew you could sing Harry!"

The whole hall apart from Umbridge was now laughing. At the other end of the hall, Draco Malfoy had just made a snide comment to the Slytherins which earned him a smack on the head by Astoria Greengrass.

'**I know I don't deserve these stupid rules made by the Dursley's**

**Here on Privet drive.**

**Can't take all of these Muggles,**

**But despite all of my struggles,**

**I'm still alive'**

"Cheerful mate," Ron muttered to Harry, who hid a grin.

'**Sick of summer and this waiting around,**

**Man, it's September and I'm skipping this town,**

**Hey, it's no mystery; There's nothing here for me now.**

**I've gotta get back to Hogwarts. I've gotta get myself to school.'**

Dumbledore looked happy at this as Fred and George both cheered 'HOGWARTS!'

'**I've gotta get back to Hogwarts' **(with cheering from Fred and George)

'**Where everyone knows I'm cool'**

"Really Potter? You, cool?" Draco called out, earning him another hit from Astoria.

'**Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts,  
>to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts.<br>It's all that I love, and it's all that I need.  
>HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, I think I'm going back-<strong>

**I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry  
>take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky<br>NO WAY this year anyone's gonna die, and it's gonna be totally awesome'**

Fred and George snickered at the totally awesome while Harry banged his head on the table muttering curse words under his breath. Fred and George stared at him then, as one, said,

"Don't worry Harry. We know you're totally awesome."

'**I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand  
>defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on!'<strong>

Harry hit his head even harder at the 'bring it on'. Umbridge scowled at this- this wasn't exposing Harry to be a liar.

'**And do it all with my best friend Ron, 'cos together we're totally awesome.'**

**Suddenly a boy in a ginger wig came on stage and stood next to Harry.**

**(singing) 'Yeah and it's gonna be totally awesome!'**

Now it was Ron's turn to bang his head on the table.

**(Ron speaking): 'Did someone just say Ron Weasley? Wahoo, what's up buddy? Sorry it took me so long to get here, I had to go get some floo powder but we gotta get going. Come on, get your trunk. Let's go.  
>(Harry): Where we goin?<br>(Ron): To Diagon Alley of course.  
>(Harry): Cool!<br>(Ron): Come on**

**Then the boys spun around waving their arms.  
>(Ron and Harry): Floo powder powder (x4)<strong>

"We've been using floo powder wrong all these years, wouldn't you agree Gred?"  
>"Well certainly Forge."<p>

'**RON: It's been so long, but we're going back  
>don't go for work, don't go there for class'<strong>

"RON!" yelled Hermione and Molly.  
>"IT'S NOT ME!" Ron yelled back<p>

**HARRY:  
>As long as were together-<strong>

**RON:  
>- gonna kick some ass<strong>

**HARRY & RON:  
>... and its gonna be totally awesome!<br>This year we'll take everybody by storm,  
>stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm<strong>

Professor McGonagall glared at Harry and Ron for this. The boys tried to hide behind Fred and George, who promptly shoved them out of the way.

**HERMIONE:  
>but let's not forget that we need to perform well in class<br>if we want to pass our OWLS!**

Hermione groaned as a girl with extremely bushy hair came on screen.

**RON: gosh Hermione why do you have to be such a buzz kill?**

**HERMOINE: because guys, school's not all about having fun. We need to study hard if we want to be good witches, and wizards.**

"Well said Miss Granger. 10 points to Griffindor," announced Professor Flitwick. McGonagall didn't bother to tell Fillius that it wasn't real.

**HERMIONE:  
>I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart<br>check out my grades, they're "A's" for a start'**

"Wow Granger. Only an 'Acceptable?" mocked Draco Malfoy. Once again, Astoria hit him on his head.

'**what I lack in looks well I make up in heart,  
>and well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome'<strong>

"Now I'm saying it!"

**this year I plan to study a lot...**

**RON:  
>that would be cool if you were actually hot<strong>

**HARRY:  
>hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!<strong>

**RON:  
>and that's cool...<strong>

**HERMIONE:  
>... and that's totally awesome<strong>

**HARRY, RON, HERMIONE:  
>yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome!<strong>

**we're sick of summer and this waiting around  
>it's like we're sitting in the lost and found<br>don't take no sorcery  
>for anyone to see how...<strong>

**we gotta get back to Hogwarts  
>we gotta get back to school<br>we gotta get back to Hogwarts  
>where everything is magic-cooooool<strong>

Everyone groaned at the pun.

**EVERYONE:  
>back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts<br>to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts  
>it's all that I love, and it's all that I need at<br>HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS**

**HARRY, RON, HERMIONE:  
>- I think we're going back...<strong>

"No, you don't say."  
>"Malfoy," warned Astoria in an angry tone.<br>"Can we watch the next part Professor?" asked Katie Bell.  
>"Yes Miss Bell. We shall watch it shortly," was Dolores Umbridge's reply.<p>

Professor Umbridge was very pissed off. This musical hadn't proved that Harry Potter was a liar. 'Well,' she thought to herself. 'We'll see what the next part proves.'

**AN: Hi guys! Thanks for reading. Please comment, it would really mean a lot to me, even if it's just suggestions for stories or new characters to introduce to this story, or just any criticism. Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you soon. BYE!**

**Listening to In The End- Linkin Park.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey everyone. Sorry I didn't update earlier, I was planning to update this morning but we had no internet for about five hours this morning. Thanks everyone who has reviewed, favourite or put this story or me on alert. It really means a lot to me and if you have any ideas about more stories or characters I could introduce into this story, just tell me and I'll try my best to fit it in.**

**Listening to Lost In Paradise- Evanescence.**

Professor Umbridge wasn't happy. The last scene of A Very Potter Musical hadn't proved anything about Harry Potter lying about the return of You-Know-Who. In fact, it was completely useless so far about anything. All it had shown so far was that the Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter, was an apparently good singer. Well, she thought to herself, maybe the next scene will be better.

Act 1 Scene 2:

**The actors and actress playing Harry, Ron and Hermione went to the side of stage.  
>Ginny: Ron! You're supposed to go to Madame Malkin's you know and use those sickles mum gave you for my robe fitting!<strong>

Ginny screamed at the sight of this girl.  
>"Bloody hell! Is that supposed to be me," she screamed.<p>

"Looking good there Weaslette," Draco yelled to an embarrassed Ginny. Astoria hit Malfoy again. 'Why is he such an arrogant git?' Astoria thought to herself. She was used to hitting Malfoy now, and another hit on the head for Malfoy earned Astoria approving glances from the Gryffindor table.

**Harry: Uhhh, who's that?  
>Ron: Oh this is stupid dumb sister Ginny, she's a freshman. Ginny this is Harry, yes Harry Potter.<br>Ginny: Ooh, you're Harry Potter. You're the boy who lived.  
>Harry: Yeah and you're Ginny.<br>Ginny: Ooh, it's Ginevra.**

"Why would I say that? I hate that name," said the girl in question.  
>Molly shot a glare at her daughter, who hastily said:<br>"I'm joking mum. I love that name really!"  
>Ginny shrunk under her mother's glare and turned to Charlie and Bill who said in a similar fashion to the twins<strong>:<br>**"Well nice to meet you Ginevra. Do you happen to know a girl called Ginny? She looks a little like you." They soon shut up when faced with a Bat-Bogey hex Ginny was planning to do.  
>"Uh hum. Would you mind being quiet so we can watch the video Miss Weasley?" came Professor Umbridge's sickly sweet voice and disgusting smile.<p>

**Harry: Cool, Ginny's fine.  
>Ron: Stupid sister.<br>He stage hit Ginny.  
>Ron: Don't crowd the famous friend.<br>Hermione: Do you guys hear music or something?  
>Harry: Music? What are you talking about?<strong>

"Trust Potter to be clueless" muttered Severus Snape under his breath.  
>Dumbledore heard this and said, "Don't let James make you hate Harry more."<br>Snape snorted at this and said so that Dumbledore couldn't hear him, "Like I could hate the boy more than I already do."

**Ron: Yeah, someone's coming.  
>A group of girls come on stage, with an Asian girl in front.<br>Girls: Cho Chang  
><strong>** Domo arigato, Cho Chang****  
><strong>** Gung Hey Fat Choy, Chang****  
><strong>** Happy Happy New Year, Cho Chang.**

"Is that supposed to be me?" exclaimed Cho from the Ravenclaw table.

**Ginny: Ooh, who's that?  
>Ron: <strong>**That's Cho Chang, that's the girl Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year.**

"What's freshman year?" asked Ron.  
>"It's an American muggle term." Hermione explained.<p>

**HERMIONE: Yeah but he won't say anything to her  
>RON: Well yeah, you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot.<strong>

"Good advice Ron." Said Harry.  
>"Why thank you Harry." Ron replied.<p>

**GINNY: *runs up and taps shoulder then bows* Konichiwa Cho Chang, it is good to meet you. I am Ginny Weasley.  
>LAVENDER: Bitch, I ain't Cho Chang.<br>RON: *pulls Ginny back* that's Lavender Brown! *claps* Racist sister!**

"Since when was I both Chinese and a Ravenclaw? I'm English and a Gryffindor!" said Lavender.  
>"They probably didn't have enough Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs." Hermione explained to Lavender.<p>

**A white girl with brown hair patted Ginny and said:  
>CHO: Hey, it's alright. I'm Cho Chang y'all.<strong>

"WHAT THE HELL? I'M NOT SOUTHERN. THAT'S JUST RACIST!" exclaimed an unhappy looking Cho Chang.  
>"Cho, calm down- it's just a play." Marietta whispered to Cho, trying to calm her down.<p>

**HARRY: Man, she is totally perfect  
>RON: Yeah, too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory though huh?<br>HARRY: What, who the heck is Cedric Diggory? What who the heck is that guy?**

Everyone bowed their head in respect for Cedric.

'**Cedric' pushed everyone aside  
>CEDRIC: Oh, Cho Chang<br>I am so in love with Cho Chang  
>From Bangkok to Ding Dang<br>I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang**

**HARRY: I hate that guy, hate him!  
>RON: So are we gonna get those robes or not<br>GINNY: okay alright let's go  
>RON: God sister!<strong>

**A boy with a scarf and glasses walked onto stage as the other characters go to the side of the stage  
>Boy: *walks past "Harry and gang" then bumps into Crabbe and Goyle*<br>GOYLE: present your arm nerd *The boy holds out his arm* Indian Burn Hex! *He screams*  
>HARRY: oh, Crabbe and Goyle. Hey why don't you just leave Neville Longbottom alone huh?<strong>

The real Neville looked upset at this.  
>Draco Malfoy saw this and called to the Gryffindor table: "Never knew you're a nerd, Longbottom."<br>"10 points from Slytherin for insulting another student," shouted Professor McGonagall.

**GOYLE: Well, well, well, if it isn't Harry Potter. You think all because you're famous, you can boss everyone around.  
>HARRY: No I just don't think it's cool for guys your size picking on guys like Neville, come on.<br>GOYLE: oh well you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds.  
>'Goyle breaks 'Harry's' glasses.<br>Goyle: We hate nerds.  
>CRABBE: and girls!<strong>

"Isn't the person playing Crabbe a girl?" asked Ron.  
>"It's called irony Ronald," sighed Hermione in exparastion.<p>

**RON: Oh, well you asked for it. You don't mess with Harry Potter he beat the dark lord when he was a baby.  
>HERMIONE: Alright everyone just calm down. Occulos Repairo!<br>HARRY: Wah cool!**

"Thank you Harry, and you should really remember that spell," grinned Hermione.

**HERMIONE: Okay, okay now, let's just leave these big-baby-childish-jerks alone.  
>A short girl with earrings in her ears and a blonde wig walked onto the stage. Cheering and clapping ensured from the video, as the girl walked in with arms raised.<br>DRACO: *walks in* did someone say Draco Malfoy?**

Draco looked simply furious at this.  
>"Why the fuck is a girl playing me? My father will hear that <em>they<em> have a girl playing me. And the wig, it's horrible. The accent, it's horrible; No one speaks like that with that damn awful English accent. My father _will _hear about this."  
>Draco continued his ranting as the whole hall was laughing. Even Snape found it difficult to suppress a smirk.<p>

**RON: What do you want Draco?  
>DRACO: Crabbe, Goyle, be a pair of turtle doves and go pay for my robes will you? So Potter back for another year at Hogwarts are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher calibre wizard.<br>HARRY: yea maybe Ron and Hermione are my best friends I wouldn't trade them for anything.**

**All three lean shoulder to shoulder. Ginny tried to join but Ron pushes her away.**

**DRACO: Have it your way. Wait! Don't tell me. *points at Ginny* red hair, hand me down clothes and a stupid complexion. You must be a Weasley.  
>RON: oh my gosh lay off Malfoy, she may be a pain in the ass okay, but she's my pain in the ass.<strong>

"Thanks, I think Ron," Ginny said, glaring at her brother.  
>The twins, Bill, Charlie and Arthur laughed at this while Percy just sat there saying nothing. He still wasn't on good terms with his family, and it was made worse by the fact he was stuck in a room with them.<p>

**DRACO: well, isn't this cute, like a whole loser family. Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs, luckily next year, I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!**

"How do they know about Pigfarts Headmaster?" Snape asked his boss.  
>"I don't know Severus. I really don't." Albus Dumbledore replied.<p>

**Draco: *singing*  
>this year you bet I'm gonna get outta here<br>the reign of Malfoy is drawing near  
>Ill have the greatest wizard career,<br>and its gonna be totally awesome.**

'**Draco' done the rock sign at the 'totally awesome' phrase.**

The real Draco Malfoy looked pissed at this.

**Draco: Look out world, for the dawn of the day  
>When everyone will do whatever I say<br>And that Potter wont be in my way, and then  
>Ill be the one who is totally awesome!<strong>

**GOYLE: Yeah you'll be the one who is totally awesome.**

**HERMIONE: Come on guys! Were gonna miss the train!**

**ALL:  
>Who knows how fast this year's gonna go?<br>Hand me a glass, let the butter beer flow**

**HARRY:  
>Maybe at last, I'm gonna talk to Cho,<strong>

**RON:  
>Oh no, that be WAY too awesome<strong>

**ALL:  
>Were back to learn everything that we can<br>Its great to come back to where we began  
>And here we are, and alakazam! Here we go, this is totally awesome!<strong>

"Alakazam _isn't _a word. It says so in 'Hogwarts: A History'."  
>"Just be quiet Hermione," begged Ron.<p>

**Come on and teach us everything you know  
>the summers over and were itchin to go<br>I think were ready for**

**NEVILLE: Albus Dumbledore! Oooooo. Ahhhhhh.**

**DUMBLEDORE:  
>Welcome, all of you to Hogwarts<br>I Welcome back you all to school  
>Did you know that here at Hogwarts<br>we've got a hidden swimming pool?**

**Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts  
>Welcome, all you hotties, nerds, and tools<br>Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts  
>Id like to go over just a couple of rules:<strong>

"Hotties, nerds and tools?" Fred and George exclaimed while Dumbledore looked embarrassed.

**DUMBLEDORE: *speaking***

**My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am headmaster of Hogwarts. You can all call me Dumbledore. Of course you can also call me Albus if you want a detention. No I'm just kidding I'll expel you if you call me Albus.**

"Really sir?" an amused Harry asked.  
>"Maybe Harry, maybe" Dumbledore replied with a twinkle in his eyes.<p>

**ALL:  
>back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts<br>to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts  
>it's all that I love, and all that I need.<br>At HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS,  
>Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends<br>To Gryffindors!  
>Hufflepuffs!<br>Ravenclaws!  
>Slytherins!<br>Back to the place where our story begins  
>It's Hogwarts, Hogwarts,<br>DUMBLEDORE:  
>I'm sorry, what's its name?<br>ALL:  
>Hogwarts, Hogwarts<br>DUMBLEDORE:  
>I didn't hear you kids!<br>ALL:  
>Hogwarts, Hogwarts<br>HARRY:  
>Man, I'm glad I'm back.<strong>

The whole hall was cheering with love for their school. Professor Umbridge's toad likeness had become even more pronounced over the last ten minutes. The Weasley twins were cheering and screaming 'We love Hogwarts! We love Hogwarts!' over and over again. Dolores made her way to the Weasley family where Percy was sitting and said, "Come on Weasley. We have to talk about this play in my office. NOW!"

**A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! I'd just like to say thank you again to anyone who's commented or added me or this story to their favourites or alerts. Please review, because it really helps to know what my readers think of this, so I'm not just wasting my time writing this. I'm not sure how often I can update, but I'll update at least once a week. Thank you.**

**Listening to Weight Of The World- Evanescence.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi everyone! As I write this, I'm debating whether or not to put the full scene as a chapter because the scene itself is just over 8 ½ minutes long which is even longer written and with comments. Just in case you wonder where the rest of this scene is, I'm doing this scene in TWO parts. Before I forget, I would just like to thank one person in particular: MASSIVECHIPMUNKFAN for encouraging me to join this website and giving me ideas I will do in the future. Please review and I hope you enjoy the story!  
>Listening to 'A Demon's Fate'- Within Temptation.<strong>

After the rather shocking events of the last two scenes, (which Draco Malfoy was finding hard to recover from), the hall waited once again for Umbridge to return with the third oldest Weasley brother. Bill Weasley was the first to notice Percy's absence. The hall hadn't exactly been listening or watching when Professor Umbridge had left the hall, Percy in her wake. Bill had only realised when he turned to ask Percy something and he wasn't there. Bill looked around the hall. At the Slytherin table, Malfoy was having an argument with Daphne Greengrass after he insulted Astoria, her younger sister. Astoria was trying to break up the fight with no luck whatsoever. At the Hufflepuff table, Hannah Abbot was gossiping with Susan Bones, presumably about Malfoy's character, as they were staring and pointing at him. Over at the Ravenclaw table, Michael Corner was comforting Cho over her character. And alongside him at the Gryffindor table was Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil talking about how funny they thought the play was.  
>"Are we all ready to watch the next part?" asked Umbridge. When she spoke, loud cheers came from every corner of the Hall, even the Slytherin table where Draco and Astoria were sitting.<p>

**The scene changed to the Great Hall. The students sat on benches and Dumbledore entered.  
>Dumbledore: Welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts! And a very special welcome to my favourite student, Mr. Harry Potter.<br>Ron: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!**

"Thanks for the support mate." Harry grinned to his best friend who was sitting next to him.  
>"No problem mate," Ron grinned back.<p>

**Dumbledore: He defeated Lord Voldemort, even though he was a little baby- even got that little lightening scar to prove it. And another special welcome to our newest member of Gryffindor house, Mr. Gin- excuse me, Miss Ginny Weasley.  
>Ginny: Yeah, I'm a girl and also, aren't we supposed to be sorted by the sorting hat?<br>Dumbledore: Yeah well a funny thing happened to the sorting hat, he actually got hitched with another piece of enchanted magical clothing. So him and the Scarf of Sexual Preference won't be back until next year. Basically I've been putting anyone who looks like a good guy in Gryffindor, anybody who looks like a bad guy into Slytherin, and the others can just go wherever the hell they want. I don't really care.**

"Most the mean looking people deserve to be in Slytherin, the evil gits," muttered Ron. Fred and George looked as though they agreed with this, but decided not to say anything.

**Cedric rose from his seat.  
>Cedric: Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders.<br>Dumbledore: What the hell is a Hufflepuff.  
>Cedric stayed standing for a few moments and then sat down.<br>Dumbledore: Anyway, it's time for me to introduce my very good friend and our own Potions professor, Severus Snape.**

Everyone laughed when they saw 'Severus Snape'. The actor had a black wig that went to his neck, and was dressed in all black clothes. When 'Snape' spoke, he had a drawling voice which somehow sounded a little bit posh.

**The Slytherins clapped loudly while Harry, Ron and Hermione talked about how much they hated Snape. Snape moves to stand next to Dumbledore.  
>Harry: Come on Ron, he's really not that bad, I-<br>Snape: Harry Potter! Detention!**

"They've got Snape's character perfect," George grumbled to his twin, who nodded and smiled.

**Harry: For what?  
>Snape: <strong>**For talking out of turn.**

"Definitely Snape then," Ron whispered to Harry. Hermione, unfortunately, heard this.  
>"Don't be so mean boys," she said in a voice that reminded Harry and Ron of Mrs. Weasley.<p>

**Snape: Now before we begin, I'm going to be giving you your very , very fist pop quiz. Can anyone tell me what a portkey is? Yes Miss Granger.  
>Hermione: A portkey is an enchanted object that when touched will transport one or ones who touch it to anywhere in the globe decided by the enchanter.<br>'Hermione' said this very quickly with no stops for breathing.  
>Snape: <strong>**Very good. Now can anyone****tell me what foreshadowing is? Yes, Miss Granger?  
>Hermione: Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which<strong>**an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in****a most significant way.**

"Why is that important, Professor Dumbledore?" Luna Lovegood asked.  
>"I don't know, Miss Lovegood," Dumbledore replied.<p>

**Snape: Perfect!  
>Ron: But what if the portkey happens to miss someone-<br>Hermione: Oh a portkey is something-  
>Ron: Not you! Argh.<br>Hermione: that when you touch it, it will transport you anywhere!  
>Snape: And remember a portkey can be any sort of harmless objects like... a football, a dolphin!<br>Girl: Professor, can like a person be a portkey?  
>Snape: <strong>**No, that's absurd. Because then if a person were to touch themselves…**

The twins burst into uncontrollable laughter at this point. Toad-face was not impressed.  
>"20 points from Gryffindor for constant interruptions," she stated.<br>The twins soon stopped laughing and glared at her, making a rude hand gesture when Umbridge wasn't looking. This earned fierce glares from Hermione and Molly Weasley. Arthur, Bill and Charlie gave Fred and George thumbs up when Molly and Hermione weren't looking.

**Snape: They would constantly be transported into different places. A person can however be a Horcrux.  
>Harry: What's a Horcrux?<br>Snape: I'm not even going to tell you Harry. You'll find out soon enough. **

Dumbledore looked surprised at this. 'Oh no' he realised, 'That means people will find out what I've been hiding all of these years before they're meant to know.' Beside Dumbledore, Severus also looked shocked. One glance to Snape's face confirmed that he was thinking along the same lines as Dumbledore himself was.  
>"Severus," Dumbledore whispered, "We'll feign ignorance, pretend Horcruxes don't exist." Severus just nodded. Over at the Gryffindor table, Harry was silently debating whether or not to ask Hermione what Horcruxes were. Hermione glanced at Harry. She was completely baffled.<p>

**Hermione: Professor, what is the point of this quiz?  
>Snape: Oh no no no point in particular, just important information that everyone should know.<strong>

'**Snape' pointed to the audience.  
>Snape: Especially you. Now right, moving along, there are four houses in all. Gryffindor!<strong>

The Gryffindor table cheered loudly at this.

**Snape: Ravenclaw.**

The Ravenclaw table now cheered.

**Snape: Hufflepuff!  
>Cedric: FIND!<strong>

The Hufflepuff table cheered.

**Snape: And Slytherin!**

**The 'Slytherin table hissed like a snake at this.**

The real Slytherin table clapped, though noticeably quieter than the other three tables.

**Snape: Now traditionally points are given for good behaviour and deducted for rule breaking. For example, ten points from Gryffindor!  
>The Gryffindor table started complaining at this.<strong>

**Snape: For Miss Granger's excessive participation.  
>Harry and Ron: Thanks Hermione!<strong>

The real Harry and Ron said exactly the same thing.

**Snape: Traditionally, the house with the most points at the end of the year wins the House Cup. However, this year we're doing things a bit differently. Let me introduce to you our new professor of the Dark Arts. Professor Quirrell! **

"What?" exclaimed the students who had been taught by Quirrell.

**A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! I apologise for splitting this scene into two, I wanted to upload this as soon as I could, and I was too tired to write the rest. Thanks to everyone who has favourited or put on alert this story, or me. It means so much to me, as it lets me know that there are people out there in the world reading, and apparently enjoying, this story. Keep the reviews coming because it lets me know how I'm doing in writing this story.**

**Listening to The Other Side- Evanescence.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews- it really helps me to see how I'm doing with this. QUESTION! Do you guys think I should do the sequel to this? I really have no idea at the moment so any opinions about this would be nice. Hope you enjoy and don't forget to review please! Remember, this is part TWO of Act 1 scene 3.**

**wingswordsandmetaphors- Thanks for that. Being honest here, I completely forgot that part when I was writing the reactions. Thanks again.  
><strong>

**Listening to Believe In Me- Demi Lovato**

**A man dressed in an oversized turban and massive robe came on when 'Snape' introduced him.  
><strong>

"Gotta say Forge, this Quirrell is much better than the real one," commented Gred.  
>Hermione rolled her eyes at this. She then thought of how people could react when 'Voldemort' was introduced. He'd likely be introduced soon, what with Quirrell in the play now. She began to wonder how these American muggles would portray Voldemort as, considering as they didn't know of the horrors Voldemort had caused in the magical world. Then she had another thought; how did the muggles find out about Harry Potter?<p>

**As soon as 'Harry' saw 'Quirrell', he began clutching his head and shouting overdramatically: OW! OW! OW!  
><strong>

Harry groaned. He hardly needed to be reminded that the reason he felt pain was because Voldemort had actually been in the room with him at the time.

**Hermione: Harry what's wrong?  
>'Harry' ignored this.<br>Quirrell: The House Cup Tournament… a time honoured tradition… For centuries –  
>Malfoy: Go home terrorist!<strong>

Everyone glared at Draco Malfoy for this. Yes, Quirrell had been a git who taught them nothing about DADA, but they felt there was still no need to be racist to him. Even Harry felt this. Quirrell didn't matter anymore though, and he couldn't wait until 'Quirrell' died. Beside him, Hermione had a look on her face which suggested that she was thinking of running to the library soon after this scene. He didn't think anything of this however. It was just typical Hermione.

**Quirrell: For centuries, the four houses of Hogwarts have competed for the honour and glory of holding the title of House Champion. **

"Since when?" chorused Fred and George.  
>"It's fictional so shut your mouths," snapped Charlie.<br>He was sick of his brothers being stupid. Percy looked at his older brother with a mixture of awe and delight on his face. After all, Charlie and Bill had always been the calm brothers.  
>"Just like something Percy would say," groaned Ginny.<br>Molly winced at this. She didn't need the reminder that her son had left the family to support the Ministry, even though it was so corrupt now.

**Quirrell: But where does this competition come from and what are the roots of the tradition?  
>Hermione: The House Cup Tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students!<br>QUIRREL. That was a rhetorical question.**

Everyone laughed loudly at this. Hermione had gone bright red with embarrassment. Draco, as per usual, was being a complete git and making loud jokes about her at the Slytherin table, which even got some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs laughing at. A quick Bat-Bogey Hex from Ginny soon shut them up, however.

**Dumbledore: Granger! Quit interrupting! Twenty points from Gryffindor!  
>Ron: Thanks Hermione! <strong>

Snape raised his eyebrows 'Dumbledore' taking points off of Gryffindor. 'Like he would ever take points off his own house, especially as he favours Potter more than anyone else.' He kept his thoughts to himself, of course. He didn't want Dumbledore knowing that he thought bad things about him. He didn't really want to be in that position now.

**QUIRREL: As I was saying, when the tournament first originated it was one of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would compete a series of dangerous tasks. Challenge is: the winner would not only win the Cup, he would also win eternal glory.  
>Hermione: Kind of like the Triwizard Tournament!<strong>

People winced at the mention of the tournament.  
><strong><br>Quirrell: Yes, sort of like the Triwizard Tournament… except no not like that at all. There are four houses! How can it be the Triwizard Tournament with four teens?**

"Good thinking there," said Bill.  
>He had never heard about this Quirrell character before, but he was sure he couldn't be <em>that <em>bad. After all, _Dumbledore himself_ hired him. So why would Dumbledore hire someone dangerous. Surely he would know the risks, what with the Boy-Who-Lived being in the school at the time.  
>"Four teens being in the tournament has happened before."<br>Hermione gave Harry a weak smile when he said this. Ron patted Harry on his back.

**Hermione: Well, professor if I remember correctly the House Cup Tournament was disbanded after one semester when one of its students was killed during the first task?  
>Quirrell: Yes. It is very dangerous. But the rewards far out way the risks.<br>Hermione: I don't think you heard me, I just said somebody died!**

**Dumbledore: Hermione Granger, shut your un-godly lopsided mouth and quit interrupting!** **Twenty more points!  
>Harry and Ron: Thanks Hermione!<strong>

**Dumbledore: God! For the clever witch of your age you can really be a dumbass sometimes!**

The Hall burst into laughter again.  
>"Well that's something I think we've all been waiting to say for years now!" Draco Malfoy yelled across the hall. Hermione looked as though she was about to burst into tears by this point. Unfortunately, Pansy Parkinson saw this and yelled,<br>"Don't be such a cry-baby Granger. Just shut up you filthy little Mudblood."  
>Hermione really was crying now.<br>"Just shut up Parkinson and leave Hermione alone!" Ron yelled- he was furious now.  
>"Make me, blood traitor," Pansy retorted.<br>"Silence Parkinson," yelled Snape surprisingly. Just as he said that, Astoria Greengrass cast a Silencing charm on Pansy Parkinson, who turned to Draco. Draco looked at her with disgust on his face. 'Why did I ever like this girl?' he asked himself. 'She's just a cold-hearted bitch. I hate her now.'

**Dumbledore: Ten points to Dumbledore!**

Some people suppressed a small smile at them, but most people were feeling sorry for Hermione. Nearly all of them had told her to shut up at least once a week in classes, but they had never seen Hermione cry before. They had always thought her to be tough and brave. This was showing that even the bravest people, like Harry and Hermione, were just human, and therefore could be vulnerable as well as anyone else.

**Quirrell: Yes, yes well it will be very dangerous, but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. And as the professor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts, I believe that this practical application is just what the curriculum needs to – **

**There was a sound which sounded strangely enough like a sneeze.**

Ron, Harry and Hermione jumped at the sneeze, but looked slightly embarrassed after they got weird looks from the hall and teachers.

**Dumbledore: Did your turban just sneeze?  
>Quirrell: N-n-no…<br>Dumbledore: I could've sworn I heard a sneeze coming from your direction but your mouth wasn't moving.  
>Quirrell: No, um… that was simply a fart, excuse me.<strong>

**There were more sneezes.**

The Hall looked faintly amused at this, although several kept casting worried glances at Hermione.

'**Quirrell' walked past 'Harry', who was clutching his head in overdramatic agony.  
>Harry: OW! OW! OW! Oh, jeez! Ow!<br>Quirrell: Well I must be going.**

**There was another sneeze.**

**Quirrell: I simply farted once more!**

'**Quirrell' exited the stage.**

The whole hall was shaking with laughter after Quirrell's strange exist. Even Snape had a small smirk on his face. Dumbledore just had a small smile- he was still concerned for his brightest student.

**Dumbledore: Well now with our newly resurrected House Cup a champion from each House will be selected to compete! So Snape, will you do us the honours please?  
>Snape: Yes Headmaster. First, from the Ravenclaw House… Miss Cho Chang.<br>Cho: Oh ma God I won! I can't believe I won!**

A lot of people laughed at this. Hermione cracked a smile. Cho was just sitting there mumbling 'racist bitches. I'm not Southern. Bloody muggles'

**Snape: Next from Hufflepuff… Mr. Cedric Diggory.  
>Cedric: Well I don't <strong>_**find**_** this surprising at all.  
><strong>

The Hufflepuffs smiled at the _find _reference. Even though they didn't really understand it at all, they still thought it was quite funny.

**Cho: Oh yeah, now I can spend more time with my beloved boyfriend.  
>Cedric: I'm glad as well my darling.<strong>

'**Cho' and 'Cedric' kissed.**

A lot of people in the Hall looked upset at the reminder of Cedric.  
>"If his death is in this play, I shall hold a toast to him," Professor Dumbledore announced. He too didn't look happy with being reminded that a student had died at the orders of Lord Voldemort himself. Since Voldemort was in this play, he hoped that this would the Ministry, Professor Umbridge, and the cowardly Cornelius Fudge accept the truth that Voldemort was back and everyone was in danger. 'Fudge is a coward' he told himself. 'He's not that stupid. No one is.'<p>

**Snape: Next from the Slytherin house… Draco Malfoy!  
>Malfoy: HA! Ha! I finally beat you didn't I Potter! What do you think of that huh? Oh I'm the 'Malfoy' rolled over (literally!) to the 'Gryffindor' benches, held onto Harry and rolled onto the floor.<strong>

Draco Malfoy didn't smile or laugh as the rest of the Hall was. He apparently, and unsurprisingly, didn't like this portrayal of his character. Hermione smiled at this. Now Malfoy would realise how hard his life was made when his character was portrayed as a loner and a character that none of the other characters seemed to like.

**Dumbledore: Malfoy, go sit down you little shit! The champion's just a title!**

"Dumbledore knows how to swear?" Fred and George exclaimed, looking completely shocked that Dumbledore of all people, even as a character, would swear.

**Snape: And finally from the Gryffindor house… Oh my… well isn't this curious? The only person in all of Hogwarts whom I hold a grudge against, is suddenly in a tournament where he may very well lose his life.**

"When he puts it like that..." Ron started to say. He cut himself off when he saw the look on Harry's face.  
>"Not helping Ron," Hermione said.<p>

**Neville: Oh! It's me!**

**As 'Neville' said this, he began mumbling other words to himself very quietly, so that the audience couldn't hear him.**

Now everyone turned to stare at Neville, who was hiding his face in his hands. Dumbledore glanced at Snape, who seemed unfazed at the fact that most Gryffindors were glaring at him intensely. The Slytherins however, were laughing at Neville Longbottom's misfortune. Most of them teased Neville on a daily basis. Astoria looked annoyed that a lot of her friends were also laughing at the clearly upset and embarrassed boy. It seemed that Astoria's attempts to make her friends be nice to other Houses hadn't worked very well. She just sat there cursing under her breath that her plan had failed.

**Snape: Sit down you inarticulate mumbler! It's Harry Potter!  
>Ron: WHOOO! WHOOO! WHOOOOO! WHOO! WHOOO!<strong>

Harry spoke up at this, maybe to take the attention off of Neville, who now had to hear people openly making jokes about him.  
>"Thanks Ron. I'm glad to know you support me."<br>This seemed to do the trick, as people started staring at Harry instead of Neville.

**Dumbledore: Well here we are folks, the four Hogwarts champions! Now I want all of you to start preparing immediately because the first task is in two months! And it could be anything… So let's get to it!**

**Just as 'Dumbledore' said that, everyone started cheering. 'Draco Malfoy' tried to get people to cheer for him, but failed and sat down looking rather upset.**

The Hall was cheering now. They knew that the play wasn't real, but it didn't stop them from cheering. No one had really got a chance, or reason, to celebrate anything much since the highly unpopular toad faced professor had came to the school to teach Defence against the Dark Arts. Now they had a chance to. Hermione Granger didn't join in the cheering. She needed to go to the library. Glancing over to the teachers table proved that Madam Pince, the librarian was here. Almost as if he had read her mind, Ron spoke to Hermione.  
>"Wait until it's finished Hermione. You might miss important things."<br>Hermione nodded.  
>"Thanks Ron," she said.<p>

Harry smiled at his friends. Life was good.

**A/N: Got over 2000 words on this chapter! WOOO! Please review- I have cookies! Yeah, thanks for reading. BYE!**

**Listening to Stop The World- Demi Lovato**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing the last chapter. I really want to get this story finished. Not because I don't like it, I love AVPM and writing about it, but because I have loads of ideas that I really want to write about soon, so I'm making myself finish this story before I start my other ideas. I have about six ideas- all HP related in some shape or form, and also a crossover my best friend and I might do. So yeah, please review and hope you enjoy! P.S. See if you can spot the Luna quote.**

**Listening to For The Love Of A Daughter- Demi Lovato**

Harry had no idea why Hermione wanted to go to the library. Then again, he thought, this is Hermione. She doesn't need a reason to go to the library. Just then, Ginny gave Harry a strange look.  
>"Why does Hermione want to go to the library?" she whispered. Harry didn't reply; he had just realised he had voiced his thoughts out loud.<p>

At the Ravenclaw table, Cho Chang was glaring at Ginny. She couldn't believe that the Weasley girl was talking to Harry Potter, HER Harry Potter. She decided to ask Marietta about this.  
>"Marietta, is it wrong that I'm kind of jealous of the Weasley girl? I mean, do you think I'm going mad?"<br>To Cho's surprise, Luna Lovegood answered instead of Marietta.  
>"You're not mad Cho. You're just as sane as I am."<br>Cho couldn't think of an appropriate response that wouldn't offend the younger girl. In the end, she gave up and just sat there, mouth wide open and gaping like a fish. 

**Ron: Harry you've got this tournament in the bag!  
>Harry: I don't know man. Cedric Diggory. I mean he's pretty awesome… NOT! He sucks! We're totally gonna win!<strong>

Harry looked thoughtful at this. If he had won by himself, Cedric needn't have died.****

**Hermione: I don't know Harry –  
>Ron: Oh my God! Hermione, shut up! Why do you have to rain on everybody's parade?<strong>

"I'm just being realistic. You know you could die at any point."  
>"Hermione, this isn't real," Ron gently reminded her.<br>"That doesn't mean I still can't be worried about

**Hermione: Because, Ron, this is dangerous!  
>Harry: Dangerous? Oh come on. How dangerous could it be? Especially for me?<br>Hermione: Well you're not invincible Harry, somebody **_**died **_**in this tournament.  
>HARRY. Uh, I'm that boy who <strong>_**lived**_**, not **_**died! **_

"Well said Harry," Fred and George shouted. Harry looked very embarrassed at this.

**Come on, what's the worst that could happen?  
>Hermione: And I don't know about that Quirrell character. I mean first he resurrects this horrible tournament. Then he comes near you and your scar starts burning. And you have to admit there was something really funky about the back of his head.<strong>

'_If only we knew then' _thought Harry. '_It'd save so much trouble. Maybe I could've defeated Voldemort earlier.'  
><em>Harry realised that he had closed his eyes and nearly fallen asleep when he was thinking this.  
>"Are you alright Harry?" asked Ginny, concern evident in her voice.<br>Before Harry had a chance to reply, Dumbledore stood up.  
>"I think that after this scene, we should take a little break," he announced, his annoying twinkle still in his eyes.<br>"Hem hem. May we please watch the rest of this clip first, _Professor_," Doroles Umbridge announced, while straightening her pink bow which was neatly perched in her brown hair.  
>"Did I just say 'funky'?" asked Hermione, looking as though the word had offended her in some way.<strong><strong>

**Harry: Come on. Think about it, Professor Quirrell is a PROFESSOR! And who hires professors?  
>Harry and Ron: Dumbledore!<br>Harry: He's the smartest, most awesome, practical wizard, beautiful wizard in the whole world? **

Harry grimaced at this. Why must his character be so nice to someone who had been ignoring him all year? Dumbledore apparently noticed this grimace, as the twinkle in his eyes soon went out and was replaced with a look of sorrow, of despair for Harry. 'I don't need _his _sympathy' muttered Harry, who had noticed this.

**Harry: Why? **_**Why**_** would he possibly hire somebody who is trying to hurt me?  
>Hermione: Well what about Snape?<strong>

Severus Snape groaned at this. He had just been reminded about _why _Potter hated him. It was because he never gave Potter any reason _to _like him. He was never nice to other students, and he was even meaner to Potter because of his _father_. He could change this, for Lily. He _would_ change this _for_ Lily.

**Harry: What about him?  
>Hermione: He's hated you for years! And he's hated your parents too Harry, everybody knows that. And he just so happens to pick your name out of the House Cup? Out of hundreds, if not five possible Gryffindors?<br>Harry: Yeah what a coincidence! I'm really freaked out!**

"Wow! Our ickle baby Harry has a sense of humour. I never thought this day would come," sang Fred. He soon became quiet when Harry demonstrated a rude hand gesture that made Gryffindor lose ten points.****

**Hermione: No, Harry I don't think it is a coincidence. I mean when you defeated Voldemort, you made a lot of enemies. Ones you might not even know about.  
>Harry: Okay, so you're saying, is that this tournament is just one big ploy to try and kill me?<br>Hermione: I mean you don't know, maybe! Anyway I just think it's dangerous and I don't think you should do it.**

Harry smiled at this. Hermione had _always _been his voice of reason.

**Harry: All right Hermione, if it means that much to you I'll drop out.  
>Hermione: Oh thank you Harry.<strong>

'**Harry' and 'Hermione' hugged.**

Cho looked quite upset at this. She knew her date with Harry hadn't gone well at all, and to see _Hermione _hug Harry like that made her question her own relationship with Harry. Cho also hadn't failed to notice the glances Harry shared with Ginny Weasley. It made her feel angry, and Luna Lovegood's comment hadn't exactly helped the matter very much at all.

**Ron: No, wait wait! WHAT? Quit the House Cup? What about all the eternal glory? I mean come on!  
>Harry: Hey, eternal glory… already got it. Besides, Neville will be a great champion – <strong>

Snape smirked slightly at Harry's nice comment about Longbottom.

'Maybe he is more like Lily than I thought' he wondered to himself.

Meanwhile, Neville was blushing at Harry's compliment, and thanked Harry, who promptly reminded Neville that the musical wasn't real, he hadn't said that but he thought Neville would do quite well. Neville's face went even redder at Harry's statement. At the other side of the Hall, Draco Malfoy was laughing at Harry.  
>'Stupid Potter,' he thought. 'Longbottom would never be a good champion.'<br>** Ron: No, no, no! I do **_**not **_**want Shlongbottom to be my champion.**

"Sorry Neville," Ron muttered to the boy sat next to him.  
>Neville had seemed not to have heard this, as he looked as though he was about to cry. Hermione looked sorry for him, and leaned over to give him a hug which Ginny joined in with.<p>

**Hermione: Harry look all you have to do is – oh look, there's Dumbledore! Just talk to him now and tell him that you're dropping out!**

"Did you really think Potter would drop out? This is Potter, you know Granger," Draco Malfoy called over to Hermione.  
>Hermione looked very surprised at this. Not the fact that Malfoy was mean to her, but the fact that he <em>hadn't <em>called her Mudblood.****

**Harry: Um… yeah, listen Hermione. Dumbledore and I are really cool, I mean we're super tight...**

The Hall looked quite shocked at the fact that Dumbledore and Harry were _tight_.  
>"Quite inappropriate <em>relationship <em>you have with our dear old Dumbledore, right Harry?" smirked Fred and George. Harry glared at the twins, while Ginny raised her wand at the twins' faces. Dumbledore's eye twinkled at this, as he watched his students joke with each other.

**Harry: And I just don't want him to think I'm lazy or anything like that, so… why don't**_** you**_** tell him. Just tell him that I want to work more on school or something. Hey, you got this one.**

"Thanks Harry," Hermione smiled. It was nice to know her friend trusted her.  
>"Why ask her? She's just a stupid Mudblood?" Parkinson called across the hall. She glanced wearingly at Astoria, who had raised her wand, silently threatening to jinx Pug-face Parkinson. <strong><strong>

**Hermione: Alright.  
>Harry: Don't worry about it.<br>'Dumbledore' entered the stage.  
>Hermione: Okay. Dumbledore?<br>Dumbledore: Yes, Miss Granger?  
>Hermione: I, uh, wanted to talk to you about something, it's about the House Cup Tournament. Well, first of all I think it's an awful idea, and then second of all, I don't think Harry Potter should compete.<strong>

Harry smiled at Hermione. Even though this play wasn't real, he knew Hermione would always do nice things for him. He looked at Hermione and Ron and felt a rush of affection for his best friends. ****

**Dumbledore: Granger why do you always have to be a stick in the mud huh? Now, tell me why you don't think Harry Potter should compete.  
>Hermione: Uh… because he, uh… wants to study!<br>Dumbledore: Granger, nobody studies at Hogwarts except for you!**

"Too true!" Fred and George mocked. Bill and Charlie laughed while Molly gave the twins disapproving looks. Ron and Harry laughed loudest and winced in pain when Hermione, who was blushing, hit them on their heads with her copy of Hogwarts: A History she always carried with her.

**Hermione: Well, he uh… wants to focus on his O.W.L.'s!  
>Dumbledore: Why couldn't Harry tell me this himself? Huh? He thinks I'm cool! We're tight!<strong>

The whole Hall including the teachers just stared at Dumbledore. They hoped they would never have to hear the real Professor Albus Dumbledore say those weird words in public.

**Hermione: Oh professor, I'm a really bad liar. I just think it's a ruse! A setup! And I even think Snape might be trying to kill Harry Potter! **

Severus Snape inwardly groaned at this. Why did people always have to assume that _he _was the bad person?

**Dumbledore: Severus Snape is one of the kindest, gentlest, bravest, sexiest men I've ever met!**

The Hall burst into laughter at this. None of them had _ever_thought of Snape as _sexy_.

**Dumbledore: Severus Snape is trying to kill Harry Potter just about as much as he's trying to kill me!  
>'Snape' entered the stage with a cardboard 'sandwich' with a bomb on it.<br>Snape: Oh Professor Dumbledore, I happened to be in the kitchen and I made you this delicious sandwich. **

Many students laughed at the sight of 'Snape' doing something nice for someone. They were silenced with a cold glare from their Potions professor.

**Dumbledore: Why thank you Severus! See Granger? Isn't he thoughtful?  
>Snape: Here you are Professor. Bomb Appétit. I mean… Bon Appétit.<strong>

The few people who had heard the 'bomb appétit' comment laughed. 'That was more like it' Ron thought. 'The only nice thing Snape does will lead to their death.' ****

**Hermione: Um, is that sandwich ticking? **

"Hermione has to _ask _a question? It's official; the world has ended," Fred and George cried out in mock horror.

**Dumbledore: It looks like it's licking… finger licking good.  
>Hermione: Professor, I don't think you should eat that sandwich.<br>Dumbledore: Why? Granger you ought to listen to Snape more often! You might even get a sandwich out of it!**

Everyone present, with the exception of Snape and Umbridge, laughed as 'Hermione' grabbed the sandwich and ran to the back of the stage with it. She dropped it and ran back to 'Dumbledore'. Harry however, was looking terrified about Snape making him a sandwich.****

**Dumbledore: Granger what the hell? Granger what are you doing? You dog-gone exploded my sandwich!  
>Hermione: I'm sorry sir!<br>Dumbledore: Great even if I did believe this tournament was a scam, do you see that Cup? It's enchanted! Whoever's names come out of that Cup have to compete or the results could be bad!**

Dumbledore sighed. The results had been bad, _very _bad. A student had been killed because of the Tournament. Albus Dumbledore was an old man and he felt _stupid_. Stupid that his failure to see who the Death Eater at Hogwarts was had resulted in an un-needed death and the return of Voldemort.

**Hermione: What do you mean bad?**

**Dumbledore: Nothing. You see he just has to compete, and if it makes you feel any better the last guy who died was a Hufflepuff… so… I'll keep my eyes open. And nothing is gonna get past me! Now I gotta go make myself another sandwich. Although I'll never know if it was as good as the last one… The last one ticked!**

The Hufflepuff table and Cho Chang stiffened slightly at the mention of a dead Hufflepuff. The one time, one of the _only _times Hufflepuff had ever had _any _kind of glory had led a great student to his death. Hermione however, was trying, (and failing), to explain the sandwich joke to a particularly hungry looking Ronald Weasley.

**Hermione: Because it was a bomb! **

'**Hermione' ran back to 'Harry'.**

**Hermione: Harry I think you're gonna have to compete in the House Cup Tournament. But I promise you, I won't rest until I find out what the first task is!  
>Ron: And I'll sabotage all the other champions so you win by default!<strong>

"Should've done that," muttered Ron, ashamed of the fact that he hadn't believed Harry.

**Harry: Alright! Awesome.**

'**Malfoy', 'Crabbe' and 'Goyle' entered the stage.**

**Malfoy: Well! Isn't this touching!  
>Ron: Oh my God! Just butt out Malfoy!<strong>

The Hufflepuffs cheered up at the sight of 'Malfoy' rolling onto the floor. Over at the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy was muttering something under his breath that had to do with his father hearing about it, a good lawyer, three Hippogriffs and a Bat-Bogey hex.

**Malfoy: Father and I had I bet you know! He says you won't last five minutes in this tournament. I disagree. I say you won't last five minutes at Pigfarts!**

"Once again, how do the Muggles know about Pigfarts Albus?" Severus and Minerva asked their boss. Albus didn't answer.

**Harry: What? Alright now Malfoy… What is Pigfarts?  
>Malfoy: Oh! Never heard of it? Huh. Figures! Famous Potter doesn't even know about Pigfarts!<br>Harry: Malfoy, don't act like you don't wanna talk about it. That's like the ninth time you've mentioned it. Now what is Pigfarts?**

"Yes, do tell us dear Draco," mocked the twins. Draco made to pull out his wand but Astoria restrained him.  
>"They're not worth it. Besides, they're older than you and there's nine Weasleys and only one Malfoy here Draco," Astoria reminded the blonde haired Slytherin.<p>

**Malfoy: Pigfarts is only the greatest wizarding school in the galaxy. It's where I'm being transferred next year.**

"Oh please. It doesn't exist. Hogwarts: A History says nothing about Pigfarts. Besides, I've never even heard of Pigfarts," Hermione said.

**Hermione: Oh please, Malfoy I've never even heard of that.**

Hermione blinked in surprise at this.

**Malfoy: That's because Pigfarts is **_**on Mars**_**. **

"Explaining why it was never mentioned in 'Hogwarts: A History'. Much like _some other issues_," Hermione thought.

"Like spew, you mean?" asked Ron.

"It's S.P.E.W Ronald. Honestly," sighed Hermione.

**Harry: Malfoy, you know we're trying to have a conversation, so if you could leave us alone…  
>Malfoy: Oh… I'm not even here.<br>'Malfoy' walked to the side of the stage with Crabbe and Goyle.**

**Harry: So anyway I think we can find out what the first task is. Dumbledore said –Malfoy: Dumbledore? That old coot? He's nothing like Rumbleroar!**

Draco looked rather sheepish about calling Dumbledore and 'old coot', especially since ¾ of the school was now staring at him with intense dislike. Professor Umbridge was staring at him with an unreadable expression on her unfortunate looking face. Astoria just stared at him, and Draco felt himself blush as he realised how pretty Astoria's eyes looked, how her dark hair fell over her shoulder perfectly.

**Crabbe and Goyle: RUMBLEROAR!**

Nearly everyone with the exception of Draco Malfoy (who was still staring at Astoria) jumped in surprise.  
>"Didn't even know they could speak," Ron muttered to Charlie. Ron's older brother laughed at this and silently agreed with his youngest brother.<p>

**Harry: Anyway like I was saying…  
>Malfoy: Rumbleroar is the Headmaster at Pigfarts! He's a lion… who can talk.<strong>

"Kinda like Aslan from Narnia," Hermione smiled. The series had been one of her favourite series when she was a little girl. 'Maybe the library has a copy' Hermione wondered.

**Harry: Look Malfoy! If you don't mind we're trying to have a conversation, look you're not even eating. Get out of here!  
>Malfoy: Well I can't help it if we can hear everything you say. We're the only ones in here.<strong>

"That was rather clever Mr. Malfoy," Professor Umbridge suddenly said. "10 points to Slytherin."  
>Ron glared at Umbridge in intense dislike. Malfoy hadn't even said anything, it was his <strong>character<strong>.

**Harry: Well, just please get out of here yes?  
>Malfoy: Where are we supposed to go?<br>Harry: Oh, I don't know, Pigfarts!**

Most people started laughing at this.  
>"What a weird place to end a scene," Harry commented.<br>Hermione smiled at this. Umbridge did not smile.  
>"Now for our break then," she announced.<p>

**A/N: Hey I'm really sorry I took so long to update- I've been really busy with preparing a French presentation for Monday, and just doing other things. Hopefully, you liked the chapter, and don't forget to review please. I have cookies!**

**Listening to Solitude- Evanescence.**

**P.S. Do you think you readers could R&R my friend's story 'A life of lies'. The author is MASSIVECHIPMUNKFAN, and she's one of my best friends and she deserves way more reviews on her story than she has now, so if you could do that, I'd really appreciate it.**

**P.P.S. 2,800 words! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't updated for a while- I was really busy (and she's quite lazy as well). Shut up laptop! I'm NOT lazy! Okay maybe I am. Just a little bit. Honest…**

Flashback:  
><em>"Now for our break then," she announced.<em>

"But Professor," said Hermione. "The video hasn't finished yet."  
>And it was true. The video was still playing, but there was no sound. Apparently Dolores had muted the video in an attempt to fool the students. 'Filthy mudbloods,' she thought to herself.<br>"Well, it seems you are correct. On with the video then.'  
>Under her breath, she muttered 'Sonorous'.<p>

**Ron and Hermione laughed at 'Malfoy' being insulted by 'Harry'.**

"Oh haha. Very funny," said a sarcastic Draco Malfoy.  
>"We're ever so sorry for laughing dear Draco" said Fred.<br>"Yes. We're so sorry, Drakie-Poo," mocked George.

**Draco: Oh haha, now your just being CUTE! I can't go to Pigfarts! IT'S ON MARS! You NEED a Rocket ship. Do you have a Rocket ship Potter? I bet you do… (*Rolls onto Harry, Ron, and Hermione's lap*)**

"Ewww! Please never do that Malfoy," Ron begged.  
>"Gladly, blood-trai OW!'<br>Astoria Greengrass had apparently slapped Draco Malfoy around the face.  
>"Oops. Sorry," she taunted.<br>Harry stared at Astoria. Since when had a fellow Slytherin hit Malfoy to that extent? He couldn't believe it. 'Maybe she'd be good to have in Dumbledore's Army' he thought to himself. Judging by the looks on Ron and Hermione's faces, they had clearly been thinking the same thing as Harry.

**Draco: You know not all of us have enough money to buy out NASA when our PARENTS die.**

Astoria glared at Draco for this. He was clearly jealous of Harry Potter. 'What a git,' she thought. She turned to face Draco.  
>"I know that wasn't you that said that, but it sounds like the sort of thing you <em>would<em> say."  
>Draco thought about this. Perfect Potter clearly didn't want the fame. Draco himself knew that if it were <em>his<em> parents who had died, he certainly wouldn't be as brave as Potter was being, and had always been. He knew what he had to say to Potter. He would say it now.  
>"I'm sorry Potter," he reluctantly said.<br>As soon as the words left young Draco's mouth, he got stares from almost everyone in the room. All of them knew of Draco's blind hatred and jealousy of Harry, and had never expected Malfoy to realise how his words affected others. The only people not gaping like a fish to Draco Malfoy were Dolores Umbridge (who remained with a ferocious look on her toad face), and Severus Snape, lost deep in thought.

Harry looked up at Draco at his apology. With a silent nod, Harry accepted the fifteen year old boy's apology. To relieve some of the built up tension, Hermione flicked her wand and played the paused video. 

**Draco: What is this? Rocket ship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the Galaxy with intergalactic travels to Pigfarts, ooh. **

"I want a rocket ship," announced Draco Malfoy. The twins gaped at him. He had got to their joke before they had a chance to say it themselves.

**Harry: Alright that's it. This is the most misguided way to make me feel jealous. I don't care if you make fun of me but if you bring my parents to this it's a whole other story –**

"I agree with him," Harry said firmly.  
>"So do I," Astoria practically yelled into Draco's ear. Yes, Draco had apologised. But Astoria knew it would only be a matter of time before Malfoy opened his large mouth again to torment Harry.<p>

**Draco (*hangs onto bottom of a bench*): WOW! NOT SO FAST POTTER! OH CRABBE, GOYLE!**

"Filthy coward," murmured Minerva McGonagall.

**Goyle: BACK OFF NERD!**

**Harry: WOW I'M SCARED!**

"How did he ever get into Gryffindor? He's so stupid," sneered Zacharias Smith.  
>"How did you ever get into Hufflepuff Smith? You're not friendly, loyal or hardworking." This surprisingly came from Neville Longbottom who, until now, had been quietly sitting at his house's table.<br>"WOOO! GO NEVILLE!"  
>This ear-bursting scream came from the Ravenclaw table where, Luna Lovegood was sitting.<br>"Freak," chorused most of the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table.  
>"Leave her alone," shouted nearly every member of the D.A.<p>

**Draco: So! Not so tough are you now Potter? Maybe you should hang out with someone better than that lollygagging ginger and his stupid mudblood girlfriend!**

"Shut your mouth Malfoy," Ron angrily said.  
>"And 10 points from Slytherin for that horrible language Mr. Malfoy," said both Professors McGonagall and Snape.<p>

**Hermione: That is it Malfoy! Jellylegs Jinx! (*Crabbe and Goyle fall onto the floor*)**  
><strong>Goyle: Hey no fair our legs are jelly!<strong>

"How did he think of that. He must be delusional," exclaimed George.  
>"Wait a minute dear twin of mine. How did he even <em>think<em>? Thinking means you must have a brain," Fred agreed.

**Hermione (*Holding onto Draco's tie and holding a wand to him*): Take it back Malfoy!**  
><strong>Draco: Take what back?<strong>  
><strong>Hermione: Take back what you said about your stupid made up space school.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Yeah and all the stuff about Hermione being my girlfriend that's not even a little bit true.<strong>

"But Pigfarts is real," complained Lee Jordan, Fred and George's best friend.

**Hermione: And say you're sorry for calling me a You Know What.**

"You mean a You-Know-Who," Ron corrected.  
>"No Ronald. I did not mean You-Know-Who."<p>

**Draco: I'm sorry!**  
><strong>Hermione: And you promise you'll never do it again?<strong>  
><strong>Draco: I promise!<strong>

"That's likely," chorused the whole of the Weasley family, even Percy.

**Hermione (*dropping Draco*): Right. Now next time we ask for you to leave us alone you better do it. C'mon Harry, Ron let's get outta here. Besides, you already ate all my lunch.**

"Of course he did," chuckled Charlie Weasley, thinking fondly of his little brother. He ducked to miss a plate that the said younger brother had thrown.

**Harry: Thanks Hermione…**

"No problem Harry."

**Hermione: Unjellyfy!**

"Wow," Hermione muttered sarcastically. "Great counter curse."

**Ron: That was like the most badass thing I've ever seen. Too bad no one was here to see it though, it was like an outburst of pent up aggression. It was like Ahh Hermione! (*Ron, Hermione and Harry walk off*)**

"We were here to see it," Bill pointed out.  
>"Don't ruin the joke Bill," Ginny said to her oldest brother.<p>

**Goyle: Wow! That sucked royal Hippogriff. We got beat by a girl. Who is a nerd.**

"Hey! Nothing wrong with girls," shouted the female population.  
>"Or nerds," the Ravenclaws added.<p>

**Draco: I didn't mean what I said you know. Pigfarts IS real. Am I – Am I bleeding? Goyle? (*Goyle ducks down and sniffs Draco.*)**  
><strong>Goyle: No!<strong>  
><strong>Draco: I maybe - maybe that – M- Maybe – Well I've never been pushed down like that by a girl. Maybe I shouldn't call her a Mud – Whatever.<strong>

Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore simultaneously raised their eyebrows in disbelief. The rest of the Hall looked just as shocked as Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore did.

**Goyle: I can't believe I couldn't figure out the counter curse was just Unjellyfy.**

"I'm not surprised," remarked Harry.

**Draco: You're right. I'm not surprised. C'mon, let's go watch Wizards of Waverly Place.**

"What's…" began Ron.  
>"I honestly don't know," Hermione sighed.<p>

**A/N: Well that was the chapter! (Obviously.) I thought I told you to shut up you stupid laptop. (Oi!) Well it's true.  
>I like to thank everyone who has added me to alerts or favourites. I'd also like to thank my reviewers so far:<br>****ChaosIdeals****  
>Fallenhope19<br>xxPSxxIxxLUVxxUxx  
><strong>**MASSIVECHIPMUNKFAN  
>Football444<br>MauraderGirl2  
>wingswordsandmetaphors<br>I Believe In Nargles  
>Erarya<br>FlyToPigfarts  
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>AlwaysGryffindor13<br>paramoregal15  
>kwidditchfan<br>Akela Victorie  
>Bookwormlovesharrypotter<strong>

**Thank you so much everyone who's reviewed. I have cookies ****and**** cakes to everyone who reviews. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Wow! I'm so sorry I haven't updated since last month, I've been working on a brand new story for you that should be up by September at least. Yeah, I've just been working really hard on it, and I think you'll like it! I'll give you a hint for it- it involves both the Harry Potter and Doctor Who series, and I've had a lot of fun working on it so far. Hope you enjoy this chapter and please review!****  
><strong>**In response to acciodana's review:****'I love this! Do you plan on writing one for AVPS after this?'**

**Thanks! I'm glad you like it! Yes, I do plan on writing a sequel for AVPS, I'm not sure when but I'll tell you when I start writing it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or AVPM. Harry Potter is the property of J.K. Rowling and AVPM is the property of Starkid.**

**Listening to Sally's Song- Amy Lee.**

**OoOoO****  
><strong>**_Last time:_**_**  
><strong>_**Draco: You're right. I'm not surprised. C'mon, let's go watch Wizards of Waverly Place.**  
>"What's…" began Ron.<br>"I honestly don't know," Hermione sighed.  
><strong>OoOoO<strong>

**(Enter Quirrell)**

**Quirrell: Fools! They're all fools! They think they're safe.** **They think they're back for another fun year of learning shenanigans at Hogwarts. Little do they know of the danger that's lurking right under their noses, or should I say, on the back of their heads!**

"WHAT!" exclaimed everyone apart from the teachers, Harry, Ron and Hermione.  
><strong><br>****(Quirrell turned around and pulled his turban off. Voldemort is on the back of Quirrell's head.)**

"WHAT!" everyone yelled again.  
>"Albus, were you aware of the fact that You-Know-Who was on the back of Quirrell's head?" Professor McGonagall questioned, feeling rather angry at her employer.<br>Dumbledore wore an expression of deep embarrassment and shame on his face. Professor McGonagall scowled at his expression.

**Voldemort: Arghh!****  
><strong>**Voldemort started coughing loudly.**

**Voldemort: ugh, ugh, ugh ugh ugh!****  
><strong>**(*Quirrell* bends over*)****  
><strong>**Erugh! Ough! I can't breathe in that damn turban!**

**Quirrell: I'm sorry my Lord, it's a necessary precaution. For if they knew that you lived, that when Harry Potter destroyed you your soul lived on...**

**VOLDEMORT: Yes, that when my body was destroyed I was forced to live in the forbidden forest, eating bugs, and mushrooms, and ugh, Unicorn blood.**

Hagrid frowned at this. _That's why the unicorns were dead. It was him, trying to live forever._

"He was in the Forbidden Forest?" Mrs. Weasley shrieked, clearly not happy at this information at all.  
>Harry backed away slowly at this. Mrs. Weasley hadn't known that he himself had seen Voldemort in the forest, and he planned to keep it that way.<p>

**Quirrell: Until I found you and let you attach yourself to my soul.**

**Voldemort: Yes, Nobody must know any of that.** **Now, Quirrell, get me some water.**

'Well his plan for no one to find that out kind of failed last year…' Harry thought, thinking back to the Mirror of Erised.

**'Quirrell' bent over and got water.**

**Voldemort: Now Quirrell, pour it in my mouth.**

'**Quirrell' unscrewed the water bottle and started to pour it backwards into Voldemort's mouth.**

**Quirrell: Your plan to infiltrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly my liege.**

**Voldemort: Yes, yes, I'm done with the water.**

'**Quirrell' bent back over to put the water down.**

**Voldemort: We must not have any more foul ups like tonight in the great hall.**

"Ummm, actually that was kinda his fault in the first place. I mean, if he hadn't sneezed and made Quirrell look stupid then…"  
>Ron continued babbling on like this for the next couple of minutes, earning him strange looks from students and teachers alike. He only stopped when Hermione shot a quick Silencing charm at him.<p>

**Quirrell: I'm sorry My Lord, you sneezed.**

"I SAID THAT!" Ron yelled. Hermione had obviously reversed the Silencing charm, probably due to the fact that Ron had been hitting everyone around him, getting their attention, then miming them undoing the spell Hermione had cast on him.

**Voldemort: I know that! Get me some lazonex, you swine!**

"What's lazonex, Hermione?" Ron asked.  
>"Find out yourself." Hermione sighed.<p>

'**Quirrell' bent to get it and puffed it into Voldemort's nose and then his own.**

**Voldemort: Wash that turban, it tickles my nose.**

**Quirrell: Yes my Dark King.**

Several students snorted at the 'Dark King' comment. Draco was now quite scared; did his father ever call Voldemort the 'Dark King'? No, he'd be dead if he had by now.

**Voldemort: Okay, just relax with the Dark King, okay? I watch you wipe your butt daily. You can call me Voldemort we're there. We've reached that point.**

"What is 'that point'?" Colin Creevy asked. He got no reply, just the sniggers of his fellow students.

**Quirrell: Yes, my- Voldemort.**

"_His_Voldemort?" questioned Ron. "I think Bellatrix would disagree with that!"  
>Neville made an involuntary shudder at Bellatrix's name.<br>"Are you alright Neville?" Ginny asked him quietly.  
>"Yeah, I'm fine. I just umm, just really hate her. Really. That's all."<p>

**Voldemort: Now Quirrell, get us ready for bed. We must be well ('Voldemort' bent over) rested if we wish to kill Potter.** **Tonight in the great hall, he was so close! We could have touched him.**

"Because it wouldn't be completely obvious something was wrong if he walked up to Harry and touched him," Hermione stated rather sarcastically.  
>"I know right! God, he's not really that smart is he?" Ron replied, apparently eager to agree with Hermione.<br>"My point exactly Ron," Hermione answered.

Harry smiled at his friends. They were obviously denying their feelings for each other.

**(Quirrell put mouthwash in Voldemort's mouth)****  
><strong>**Voldemort: Revenge is at my fingertips Quirrell, I can taste it! It tastes like cool mint.**  
><strong>Quirrell: That's our Listerine Voldemort.<strong>

"What's Listerine, Hermione?" Fred Weasley asked.  
>"It's a brand of antiseptic mouthwash. It was first formulated by Dr. Joseph Lawrence and Jordan Wheat Lambert in St. Louis, Missouri in 1879 as surgical antiseptic and it was given to dentists for oral care in 1895," she replied.<p>

Fred Weasley turned away, clearly confused about Hermione's long winded answer to such a simple question.

**Voldemort: Yes, excellent. Well, um, goodnight Quirrell.**

"Yes, goodnight dearest Quirrell," echoed Fred and George.  
>"We taught them well," Charlie whispered to Bill.<p>

**Quirrell: (Turned so that Quirrell's back was facing the bed) Goodnight. (Leant back slowly and Voldemort's head goes straight into the pillow and stayed there for about five seconds)**

**Voldemort: Okay okay, I can't do this! You got to roll over; I can't sleep on my tummy.**

The teachers stared at each other when Voldemort said this. Voldemort had been in the castle the whole time _with Quirrell_, i_n the same room_. It was a terrifying thought for many of the teachers.

**Quirrell: I always sleep on my back, I have back problems; it's the only way I'm comfortable.**  
><strong>Voldemort: You roll over RIGHT NOW!<strong> **Or I'll- I'll eat your pillow!** **You'll be having a dream that you're eating a giant marshmallow and you'll wake up and find your favourite goose feathered pillow will be missing.**

"MARSHMALLOWS! I love marshmallows. They make me feel so happy. Can we have marshmallows? I'm hungry now," Ron asked Professor Dumbledore.  
>Albus looked taken aback at being <em>shouted<em> at, and simply nodded and said, "Yes. Yes, I think we could do that."

**Quirrell: Fine, we'll compromise. We'll sleep on our side.**  
><strong>Voldemort: Okay, I guess I can do this.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Now goodnight.<strong>

"Goodnight!" Fred and George chorused again.

**Voldemort: Goodnight Quirrell.**

**(Voldemort's eyes are open and he stared at the robes on the chair next to the bed. He kept looking for around fifteen seconds.)**

**Voldemort: Hey Quirrell. How long have those robes been on that chair?**  
><strong>Quirrell: I think they're from last night, I just put them there for now.<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Well, are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan with these?<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: I figured I'd just leave them there for now and put them away in the morning okay?<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: No! No, no that's not okay! I can't go to sleep knowing that there are dirty clothes on the chair; the chair is going to start to smell like dirty clothes!<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Look, I promise I'll put them away in the morning.<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: You put them away, RIGHT NOW! I COMAND YOU to just, fold them at least! Make it into a neat pile.<strong>**  
><strong>**(They both sat up)**

"Yes Quirrell. He _commands_ you," Astoria sneered, earning her a look of admiration from Draco and an intense glare from Pug-face.

**Quirrell: Look, if we're going to be in this situation for a while, we're going to have to learn to live with each other. Now, I've been single all my life,**

"No surprise there," Harry muttered, his words seemingly filled with intense hatred.

**Quirrell: and I have some habits, and sometimes I leave laundry around.**  
><strong>Voldemort: Well, I believe that everything has its place. Muggles have their place, Mudbloods have their place and so Do Your clothes! Namely, a dresser!<strong>

"HEY! How dare he use that despicable word," Molly Weasley shouted, shaking and wearing a murderous expression on her face. "There's nothing wrong with Muggles or Muggle-borns, that ungrateful little cow!"  
>"Please calm down Mrs. Weasley," Harry began saying. "We know there's nothing wrong with Muggles or Muggle-borns and besides, Voldemort himself is a half-blood. His father was a Muggle."<p>

There were gasps when Harry said 'Voldemort', but all went silent when he revealed Voldemort's heritage.

"LIES!" Dolores Umbridge screeched, nearly deafening everyone in the hall. She had stood up to say this, and was pointing at Harry Potter.  
>"Oh, shut up you fat toad!"<br>This came, rather surprisingly, from Dumbledore himself. Umbridge went silent at his words, sat down and promptly shut up for the rest of the clip.

**Quirrell: Well, aren't we an odd couple!****  
><strong>**(Started to sing and stood up)****  
><strong>**Quirrell: You won't sleep on your tummy,**  
><strong>Voldemort: You won't sleep on your back.<strong>

"That means the same thing though, right Hermione?" Ron asked.  
>"Yes Ronald. It does." Came Hermione's short reply- she was obviously irritated with Ron's constant questions.<p>

**Quirrell + Voldemort: We're quite a cooky couple you'll agree.**  
><strong>Quirrell: We share some hands and fingers,<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: And yet the feeling lingers.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell + Voldemort: We're just about as different, as anyone can be!<strong>

"Why are they singing?"  
>"They are such bad singers."<br>"They should just like go die."  
>"BOO!"<br>"Can I have the marshmallows now?"  
>"What does cooky mean?"<br>"Stop asking me questions Ronald!"  
>"This is hilarious!"<br>"Shut up Harry!"

**Voldemort: You like plotting a garden, and I like plotting to kill!**

"Got that right."  
>"Yeah, I think he did."<br>"I said shut up Ron!"  
>"No you didn't!"<br>"Yes I did."  
>"Just be quiet now."<br>"Yes Professor Dumbledore."

**Quirrell: You think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill! Sipping tea by the fire is swell-**

"Woo! Woo! TEA!"  
>"BOOKS!"<p>

**Voldemort: Pushing people in is fun as well.**

"We should try that, don't you agree Gred?"  
>"Yes, certainly Forge."<br>"Boys! Stop that right now!"  
>"Sorry mum."<p>

**Voldemort: I like folding all my ties.**  
><strong>Quirrell: And you have no friends, hey that's a surprise!<strong>

"He got that right!"  
>"Fred! George! Shut up right now or I'll use a Bat-Bogey hex on both of you!"<br>"Sorry."

**Quirrell + Voldemort: I guess it's plain to see, when you look at you and me! We're different, different, different as can be.**

"Yes they are."  
>"Albus, I think you should be quiet now. You're setting a bad example to the students here."<br>"Why, of course my dear Minerva."  
>"Really now Albus. I'll tell you again. I'm not interested."<br>"She'll come around Albus."  
>"I hope so Severus."<p>

**Voldemort: You're a sissy, a twat, a girl! I'm the darkest of Lords.**

"And is there something wrong with girls?"  
>"What's a twat?"<br>"Just SHUT UP Ron!"

**Quirrell: I'm the smartest professor here, I've won several awards!**

"No you haven't!"  
>"I know Minerva. Just stop shouting please!"<br>"I'm sorry Albus," Minerva replied, looking rather sheepish.

**Voldemort: My new worlds about to unfold,**  
><strong>Quirrell: You got beat by a two year old.<strong>

"I was only one year old. Not two!" Harry Potter yelled, breaking the temporary silence as 'Quirrell' said this.

**Voldemort: I'll kill him this time through and through,**

"Wow. Thanks."  
>Harry said this rather sarcastically.<br>"Harry!" scolded Hermione. "You mustn't say that! He could still kill you!"

**Quirrell: Or you might just give him another tattoo.**

"It's not a tattoo, is it?" Harry asked.  
>"No," Hermione replied. "It's a scar."<br>"Well, I don't want another scar thanks." Harry stated bluntly.

**Quirrell + Voldemort: You really must agree, when you look at you and me! We're different, different, different as can-**  
><strong>Voldemort: I'll rise again and I'll rule the world!<strong>

"He already has," said Cho sadly, thinking of her ex-boyfriend Cedric Diggory. There were rumours- horrible rumours in fact- that Cedric had been turned into a vampire, moved to America, and got a new girlfriend. Some rumours said he sparkled as well, but that was just ridiculous.

Professor Umbridge sat there not saying a word; it was quite unusual for her to be so quiet. But she had learnt her lesson, and only kept her opinions about You-Know-Who inside her own head.

**Voldemort: But you must help me renew! For when our plans succeed-**  
><strong>Quirrell: Prevails!<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Part of that world goes to you.<strong>

"Wow. That's oddly… generous of him." Neville said.  
>"No, not really," Luna stated in her dreamy voice. "He'll just kill Quirrell if Voldemort ever does rule the world."<br>It was very unnerving to hear Luna Lovegood talk about killing in such a carefree way. It was so unnerving in fact, that many Ravenclaws sitting near her actually stood up and sat down at different House tables. Now, Luna was sitting all alone.

**Quirrell: When I rule the world I plant flowers!**

"Good. It's nice to hear someone taking care of our planet." Professor Sprout said loudly, glaring at the students who were failing in her Herbology class.

**Voldemort: When I rule the world I'll have Snakes!**

The Slytherin table immediately hissed, mimicking the Slytherins in the musical. The Gryffindors then roared, which seemed to shock the Slytherins into silence.

**Voldemort: And goblins and werewolves a fleet of Dementors and giants and thestrals and all my death eaters!**  
><strong>Quirrell + Voldemort: When I rule the world!<strong>**  
><strong>**(Both stared to laugh like maniacs.)**

"Well," said Harry after a few moments of stunned silence. "That was a nice clip."

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Again, I'm really sorry for not updating sooner. Like I said, I've just been busy with my Doctor Who/Harry Potter crossover and also with school things. Please review and I hope you liked this chapter!**

**Thank you to the people who reviewed the last chapter:****  
><strong>**Arrows the Wolf****  
><strong>**Hades is my father****  
><strong>**SkyeElf****  
><strong>**Aqua Cahill**

**devil101**

**Listening to Sometimes- The Rifles**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ummm, hi everyone! I know I only updated just eleven days ago, but as I'm sitting here bored, I thought I might as well write something. So yeah, a massive thank you to Arrows the Wolf, SkyeElf, Lindsey and wingswordsandmetaphors for reviewing.  
>Arrows the Wolf- I'm very sorry I killed you with my Twilight reference. You can still review, can't you?<br>SkyeElf- Thank you! Glad you liked the chapter!  
>Lindsey- Wow I'm sorry I made you spit out your coffee! Glad you seemed to like it!<br>wingswordsandmetaphors- Haha, I thought that when I first watched it on YouTube, and I thought it couldn't say that! I guess it's just the way it's worded that makes it sound like that!  
>Thanks to:<br>Rochelle13 for adding the story to their story alerts,  
>morethananything for adding this story to their alerts,<br>for adding me to favourite author,  
>TeenageDream123 for adding the story to their favourite stories,<br>verner2 for adding the story to their favourite stories,  
>arya 54329 for adding the story to their favourite stories,<br>Hpgirl814 for adding this story to their story alerts,  
>WeasleyLoverGleek for adding the story to their alerts,<br>The Not-so-brave Gryffindor for adding me to their favourite author list, author subscription, and for adding the story to their story alerts and to their favourite stories list,  
>Rhiannon the Mage for adding the story to story alerts,<br>Melt Your Heart for adding the story to their alerts,  
>Devil-O-Angel for adding the story to their favourite stories list,<br>And everyone else who has subscribed to alerts for either me or the story, of have added me or the story to their favourites. Thank You so much!**

**Listening to Made Of Stone- Evanescence.**

"Is everyone ready to watch the next clip?"Professor Umbridge asked.  
>She didn't particularly want everyone watching this stupid musical, but the more she thought about it, the more Dolores realised that it was her own fault for showing the musical to the children. To her massive disappointment, the woman's question was answered with people yelling 'YES!"<p>

**('Harry' and 'Hermione' were sitting on a****bench. 'Harry' was holding a guitar, and 'Hermione' was holding a****notepad and**** was ****writing a essay. 'Neville' was across the stage on a bench looking at his plant.)**

"Where is this scene set? I mean, it can't be set in the Great Hall, or the other Houses would be there. So where is it set? Maybe it's in the Gryffindor Common Room? Yeah, I think it is there," Hermione asked Ron.  
>"How the bloody hell would I know?" Ron replied. "You're supposed to have all the answers, not me!"<p>

**Hermione: Harry, don't you think you should be trying to figure out what the first task is gonna be?****You could actually die if you're not ready.  
><strong>  
>"Wow. Thanks for reminding me Hermione," Harry stated sarcastically.<br>"Sure. No problem," Hermione replied, clearly satisfied with what her other self was saying on the screen.

**Harry: What? Come on. I 'mean, can't you just do it for me?**

"How exactly are you going to learn anything if you don't do anything for yourself?" Hermione questioned Harry.  
>"I'll have you, of course!" Harry replied. Hermione glared at Harry for saying this, and Luna quickly rose to defend Hermione.<br>""It must be the Wrackspurts again. It apparently affects all boys in Hogwarts. It must have hit Harry particularly hard. It's quite common in boys who don't understand a lot of things."  
>"Wow. Thank you so much Luna!"<p>

**Harry: Can't you just prepare all of my stuff for me, I mean, what are you do right now?  
>('Harry' said All of this whilst playing the guitar.)<strong>**  
><strong>**HERMIONE: I'm writing your potions essay.**

"She better not be." Severus Snape said in a threatening voice. Just as he said this, Harry whispered to Hermione,  
>"You could do that, couldn't you?"<br>Hermione fortunately managed to shut Harry up before Luna went on a rant about Wrackspurts again.

**Harry: ('Harry' stopped playing) Oh, well. Do that first 'cause that's due tomorrow. **

"Yes sir!" Hermione muttered sarcastically. Ron heard this and grinned at Hermione.  
>"Do you think…" he started.<br>"NO!" Hermione yelled.

**('Hermione' nodded)  
>Harry: But after that, Can you prepare for the first task, Please?<strong>**  
><strong>**Hermione: Ok.****  
><strong>**Harry: Thank you, you are the best. ('Harry' poked 'Hermione's' nose)**

**"**Don't ever do that." Hermione almost growled.  
>Harry backed away slowly and whispered to Ron,<br>"Be careful of that."  
>"What, me?" Ron whispered back.<br>"Yes, obviously. Who else would it be?" 

"Wow. The children are so adorable," Albus Dumbledore told Minerva.  
>"I'll tell you again Albus. I'm not having your children!" Minerva McGonagall said angrily.<br>"I told you Albus. She'll come around." Severus Snape replied in his droning voice.

Harry: You got it, thank Hermione.  
><strong>('Harry' starts to play guitar again.)<strong>**  
><strong>**('Ginny' entered bouncing a pencil in her fingers.)**

"Aww, it's our cute little baby sister," Fred and George mocked.  
>"Fred, George stop being so mean to your little sister," Molly Weasley scolded.<br>"Mum," Ginny moaned. "I'm not a little girl anymore. I can take care of them myself!"  
>Molly scoffed at this, but remained silent.<p>

**Harry: Hey, Ginny, come here, I wanna show you something, come here.**

"What do you want to show her Harry?" Charlie asked suspiciously.  
>"I don't know! It's not me, is it?" Harry replied angrily.<p>

**('Ginny' walked over)****  
><strong>**Ginny: Hey, Harry Potter.**

"Oh, why the stupid voice?" Ginny moaned, clearly not happy with her portrayal.  
>"She always has a stupid voice," Draco Malfoy stated bluntly, much to Astoria's disappointment.<br>"Oh please shut up Malfoy," Astoria groaned.

**Harry: Listen, I wanna play this song that I'm working on. I met this girl I really really like and I want her to know that she's really special, so I just wanna know what you think, so just for the purpose of now, 'cause I'm still working on the lyrics,**

Cho smiled at Harry when his screen self said this. Of course, the song was going to be about her.

**Harry: I'm gonna put your name, where her name should be,**

'No, that'd ruin the song completely.' Cho thought this to herself. Ginny smiled to herself, but then frowned slightly. Who was the song originally for, if not her?

**Harry: but I don't think it's really gonna work out, Well, let's just give me a shot.  
>('Harry' started to play and sing)<br>Harry: You're tall and fun and pretty, you're really really skinny, Ginny.**

"Aww thanks Harry," Ginny smiled. Then she realised that 'Harry' hadn't wrote the song for her. Her smile then, naturally, faded.

**('Harry' scowled)  
>Harry: I'm the Mickey to your Minnie, you're the Tigger to my Winnie, Ginny, Gonna take you to the city, want to take you out to dinny, Ginny.<strong>

"What's 'dinny'? Is it like dinner? Has it got something to do with food? I love food." This came from none other than Ron Weasley. Of course, everyone was expecting this, so really it was no surprise that it was Hermione that answered.  
>"Yes Ron, it is dinner. Now, are you going to be quiet so the rest of us can watch this scene?"<br>"Yes," Ron replied timidly.  
>"Do you promise?"<br>"Yes," Ron once more replied. However, when Hermione looked away, Ron winked at Harry. Harry grinned, knowing that Ron didn't intend to keep his promise.

**Harry: You're cuter than a guinea Pig, wanna take you out to Winnipeg, THAT'S in Canada!**

"Wow. The famous Harry Potter, our _celebrity_ knows something." Snape sneered.  
>"Yeah. It's just a shame it was <em>Muggle <em>things he knows," Draco stated rather sarcastically. Astoria, Hermione, Luna and the Weasleys glared particularly hard at him.  
>"10 points from Slytherin for an unnecessary, rude, comment," Professor McGonagall said, glaring at Malfoy.<br>Draco started to object, but was silenced by Astoria.  
>"Please shut up Draco. I don't want you to lose anymore house points than you already have."<p>

**Harry: Ginny Ginny Ginn- ('Harry' stopped singing)  
>Harry: You know what, this doesn't work with me at all. But I don't know, how does it make you feel? Emotionally?<br>Ginny: WOW! Wowee, Harry Potter.**

"Bloody hell Ginny! Are you going to shut up anytime soon?" Ron asked Ginny, a hint of a smile on his freckled face.  
>Ginny only smiled at Ron, pointing her wand at her brother's face.<p>

**Harry: Don't you think it could kinda, I don't know, make a girl fall in love with me?****  
><strong>**Ginny: Oh, I think it already has. **

Cho glared at Harry and Ginny for their characters saying this. She had noticed that since the play had started, Harry and Ginny had been talking more, and sitting much closer than Cho felt comfortable with.  
>'Oh well,' she thought sadly to herself. 'As long as he's happy, why should I care who he chooses to love?'<br>'But it should have been me," another voice in Cho's head told her.

**Harry: Awesome, 'cause it's for Cho Chang!  
>('Harry' went back to playing his guitar.)<strong>**  
><strong>**Ginny: Yeah, She's she is beautiful.**

"Thank you Ginny," Cho smiled. She had grown to respect Ginny now.

**Harry: Are you nuts? Beautiful, more like supermegafoxyawesomehot!****She's the hottest girl I've ever met. She's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any girl that I know in my immediate group of friends.**

Hermione hit Harry hard on the head for this comment.  
>"How dare you?" she yelled. Harry flinched. Hermione could be pretty scary when she was angry.<br>"What did I do?" Harry asked.  
>"Nargles again," Luna said sadly.<p>

**Harry: She's a lot more better and Awesome.  
>('Ginny' got upset and played with her hair.)<strong>

"Harry! How dare you! Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon…" Hermione started.  
>"All right, all right. I'm sorry Hermione, but it's not actually me saying or doing that. You do realise that, don't you?"<br>"Yeah, of course I do Harry. Sorry about hitting you by the way…" Hermione trailed off.

**('Ron' entered the room and stood on the beach, carrying a bag of crisps.)****  
><strong>**Ron: 'Sup Neville!  
>('Ron' slapped his head and went over to his friends.)<strong>**  
>Ron: <strong>**Move, move, move, move, move.**

**Ron: (To Ginny) Awesome. HEY, Harry what's up? So I was just off stage hanging out with Hagrid, and I was, I err, saw these delivery wizards, bringing giant cages into the dungeons, I don't know what that's for.**

"You were off-stage hanging out with Hagrid?" Off-stage? That's breaking the fourth wall!" Hermione said.  
>"And the fourth wall is?" Ron asked.<br>Hermione answered before realising she had asked Ron _not _to ask questions.  
>"Well, it's where you acknowledge the audience, and break the illusion that what you are watching is real."<br>"Wow, thanks Hermione," Ron grinned, pleased he had got away with asking questions.

**Hermione: Giant cages? I bet whatever is in those cages has something to do with the first task.**

"Wow Hermione. You're supposed to be clever," Ernie said.

**Ron: Got it.****  
><strong>**Hermione: Harry, we have to find out what it is.****  
><strong>**Harry: Hey, hey, hey guys, chill. I'm busy.  
>('Harry' played guitar with a stupid face.)<strong>

"Nice face Potter," Draco smirked. Many Slytherins, surprisingly including Astoria, laughed at this. Harry glared at Astoria for this. He'd thought she was alright, but apparently she was like any other Slytherin- rude, mean and sarcastic.

**Hermione: (muttered) Harry Potter.  
>('Hermione' walked up to him and took his guitar)<strong>**  
><strong>**Ron + Ginny: NO! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! WOAH WOAH WOAH WAOH!****  
><strong>**Ron: Woah!**

"Thanks Hermione," most students chorused in an impression of 'Harry' and 'Ron'.

**Hermione: Guys! Now listen, this could be a matter of life and death.**

"Not the first task," Harry muttered sadly.

**Ron: Well, it doesn't matter, because it's after hours, okay? And we can't leave the Gryffindor house, we'll probably get in trouble if we do,****and even if we do, Shlongbottom over there will tell on us anyway.**

"Hey! I'm not Shlongbottom! My name is Neville Longbottom. Longbottom right, not Shlongbottom." Neville stood up and said angrily.  
>"Don't boast about it," Malfoy said, smiling. It was just a little bit scary to see someone like Draco Malfoy smiling, and it made Neville so scared that he slowly sank back into his chair nervously. Astoria glared at Draco.<br>"I only laughed before because I genuinely thought it was funny. What you just said was bullying."  
>"Yeah, and I was mean to Harry as well," Draco retorted.<br>"Like I said," Astoria began confidently, "I thought it was funny.  
>Draco rolled his eyes. Why did girls have to be so bloody confusing?<p>

**Hermione: Neville won't tell.****  
><strong>**Neville: Oh yes, I most certainly will.**

"Thanks Neville," Ron groaned.

**Ron: What are we gonna do?****  
><strong>**Hermione: Simple guys, the cloak.****  
><strong>**Ron: Of course.****  
><strong>**Harry + Ron + Ginny: (all standing) The cloak.**

"Well, that was rather unnecessarily dramatic," Professor McGonagall said, barely concealing her laughter.

**Ginny: Wait, what cloak?****  
><strong>**Ron: Shut up! ('Ron' clapped his hands over her head)**

"That's not nice Ronald," Molly complained.  
>"Mum! It's not me!"<p>

**Harry: Well, last year, I got a present left for me -Oh bye Neville- I got a present left to me at my first year at Hogwarts. And, uh, it was left to me, by my Dad, the dad that's dad, my father is dead.**

"Do they really have to remind me?" Harry asked. No one answered. They were too upset.

**Harry: I have a dead father. He used this himself, this is my invisibility cloak.**

There was silence as both students and staff mourned over the losses of Lily and James Potter. After what seemed like an eternity, Albus Dumbledore raised his goblet in memory of Harry's parents. The rest of the hall followed suit, each raising their own goblet as one. Molly and Arthur cried and hugged Harry. He shouldn't have had to watch while his peers raised their goblets because Lily and James should have been here.

**Ron: Yeah!****  
><strong>**Ginny: Oh Boy! Oh wowee Harry Potter! You have a real invisibility cloak.****Oh, Oh. Do you know what I would do if I had an invisibility cloak?****  
><strong>**Harry: I would, I would kick wiener dogs.**

"That's not nice Harry," Hermione whispered softly to her best friend. But she whispered it half-heartedly. She too was upset at the whole injustice of Harry's parents death- she had both of her parents and was eternally grateful for them.

**Ron: And I would pretend to be a ghost and I would scare mean people.**

"I'll join you on that one actually Ron," Harry smiled. He was finally getting happier again.

**Hermione: I'd use it to avoid ever having to face my reflection in the mirror.****  
><strong>**Harry: That's a good one.****  
><strong>**Ron: Jesus.**

"HARRY!" Ginny exclaimed.  
>"It's NOT me!" Harry moaned. This was getting confusing.<p>

**Ginny: Well, actually, I was gonna say that I would use it to fake my own death and watch people cry at the funeral.**

"Oh, Ginny! I'd cry at your funeral," Luna, Neville and Hermione cried out. Ginny smiled at them, and then glared at her family and Harry, who looked back sheepishly.  
>"Well? Why wouldn't you cry?"<br>At once, her family and Harry all answered.  
>"We would cry, but we don't want to have to. We should die before you do anyway.""<p>

**Harry: Okay, anyway. lets get out of here, before Neville gets back. (They all stared to head for the door)****  
><strong>**Ron: Woah woah woah woah, where do you think you're going?****  
><strong>**Ginny: Umm, with you guys?****  
><strong>**Ron: No no no, no way, no kid sisters allowed, okay?  
>('Ron' clapped his hands above his head with his tongue sticking out)<br>Ron: Besides, theres only enough room under this cloak for two people.  
>('Hermione' looked upset)<br>Ron: So, err, come on Hermione, come on.**

"Okay, that's just not fair! Is Hermione not a person or something? Or am I too stupid to help you, just because I'm your little sister? Because in case you hadn't realised Ron, I've been through just as much as you, Hermione and Harry have! Remember my first year?"

Ron looked upset at Ginny's outburst.

"Ginny," he hesitatingly began. "You know I love you, don't you? I know how hard your first year was on you, but don't you think it was hard on me too? I was near Harry when he saved you, and there was nothing I could do. I felt so bloody guilty Ginny! Guilty that I couldn't have been the one to save you. I'm glad Harry saved you, but I'm your older brother Ginny! I'm supposed to protect you from danger and things like that, but I couldn't because I was stupid. I could have lost you Ginny, and I don't want either of us to go through that again."

When Ron stopped talking, he looked at his little sister and pulled Ginny into a hug. The gesture was so simple, but there were many meanings and intense feelings that weren't shown- love being the most intense emotion of them all.

**(Hermione gave the guitar to Ginny)**

**Ginny (singing): The way his hair falls in his eyes, makes me wonder if he, ever sees through my disguise, and I'm under his spell.**

"Who are you talking about, Ginny?" Neville asked.  
>"Don't be so stupid Longbottom," Draco snarled.<br>"Hey!"  
>Draco continued, "Well, let's see shall we? I highly doubt Ginny is a lesbian, so Hermione's out of the picture. Ron is her brother. No one would ever love you Longbottom, so that leaves us with Potter."<br>"Wow Draco," Astoria whispered, clearly surprised. "That was actually pretty intelligent."

Harry felt his insides turning to goo, but he kind of liked the weird feeling he had when he looked at Ginny.

**Ginny: Everything is falling, and I don't know where to land, everyone knows who he is, but they don't know who I am.  
>('Ginny' sings to the guitar)<br>Ginny: Haaaaaaaaaaarry. Haaaaaaaaaaaarry.**

"Ginny, you really can't sing!" Bill groaned, although he was grinning at his younger sibling fondly.  
>"Hey! It doesn't matter. I'm expressing my deepest emotions and feelings, so it doesn't matter!"<p>

**Ginny: Why can't you see, what you're doing to me?**

"Clearly not Ginny," said Hermione, glaring at Harry.

**Ginny: I've seen you conquer certain death, even when your just standing there, you take away my breath, and maybe. Some day you'll hear my song and, understand that all along, theres something more that i'm trying to saaaayy! Then I say! Haaaaaaaaaaaarry!**

"Please don't sing Weaslette. You're damaging my ears." Draco sneered.  
>"Actually, I think Ginny is a pretty good singer," Astoria replied, glaring at her favourite Slytherin.<br>"Wait, who's side are you on here?" Draco demanded.  
>"Until you stop being such a jerk, I'm on the Gryffindor side." <p>

Draco gaped at her, as did many other students; Gryffindors and Slytherins were united at their shock towards Astoria to remember that they were supposed to hate each other, and actually started _smiling _at each other. It really was shocking for the staff, not least Dumbledore who questioned Minerva about the school society, resulting in an argument between Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall.

**Ginny: Haaaaaaaarry! Why can't you see, what your doing to me? (hugs guitar) What you're doing to me? ('Ginny' sighs). What you're doing to me.**

Harry stared at Ginny. Ginny stared back at him. She got up from where she was sitting and sat next to him. Then she hugged him. It wasn't a romantic hug, but more of an 'I love you in a romantic way, but you're also my best friend' way. They broke apart from their hug, and just smiled at each other, knowing that they had just found love with their best friend.

**A/N: Bloody hell! That chapter took ages to write! Yeah, I promise I will try to update more often- just don't expect updates every day! Thank you to ****Kirsten Winchester DiNozzo for adding the story to her Story Alert thing, ****HPNCISVictorious14 for reviewing (thank you so much for that), and adding this story to Story Alerts and Favourite Story. Please review if you like it (or if you don't like it). BYE!  
><strong> 

**Listening to Erase This- Evanescence**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi everyone again! Sorry I haven't updated for a while, I've just been really busy. Hope you enjoy it and thanks for the reviews, alerts and things like that. They make me happy! Just so you know, I am going on holiday on Thursday this week, so don't expect any updates from me. I might write some more of my other stories though, just not upload them.**

**Listening to Broken- Seether feat. Amy Lee from Evanescence.**

Cho was feeling strangely at peace. Although Ginny and Harry were now apparently in love, Cho didn't have to bother with Harry- she could focus more on her studies. Cho was a Ravenclaw for a reason anyway.

'**Quirrell' walked into the room swiftly.**

'**Quirrell': "Master, Master, the shipments for the first half of the tournament have just arrived," he said.  
>'Voldemort' spoke from the back of his head "Yes I know Quirrell. I hear everything that you hear."<strong>

"Haha haha."  
>"Ronald, it's not even <em>that <em>funny." Hermione said, but she too had a small smile on her face.  
>"Please excuse my brother and his strange sense of humour," Ginny said, smiling at Hermione.<p>

**Quirrell took of his turban "Isn't it wonderful, we've made sure that Harry Potter's name was drawn from the cup and soon he will be ours." He said.**

"No chance. Potter would never belong to You-Know-Who. He's too brave for that. He is in my house for a reason after all," Professor McGonagall said to Professor Sprout, who nodded and smiled in response.

**"Yes, it's really happening isn't it Quirrell. You know with the plan going so well, I feel like maybe we should celebrate. What do yah say Quirrell, how's about we go out? I hear it's karaoke night down at the Hog's Head." 'Voldemort' said.**

"Karaoke? I didn't think Aberforth was fond of music."  
>"Professor, may I please remind you that this is fictional, so there is no karaoke at Hog's Head." Professor Snape said to his much older, and slightly crazier, boss.<p>

**"I dunno," 'Quirrell' said " I have all these papers to grade and I've been giving so much attention to this revenge plan that I've really gotten behind."  
>"Aww come on" 'Voldemort' said " Quirrell, you've been working so hard all year, you deserve a night off."<strong>

"Ahhh, how sweet of Voldie-shorts to give Quirrell a night off."  
>"Certainly Forge," smirked his twin.<p>

**"Well, what about the papers?" Quirrell asked.  
>"Oh just give them all B's and be done with it." Voldemort said.<strong>

"B's?" Hermione asked. "I got O's."  
>"Of course you did, Miss Granger," Dumbledore confirmed. "But I assume they are using the muggle grades for this, so a B is the second highest grade you could get. It's kind of above an E, but not quite an O."<p>

**Quirrell's mouth formed an 'O' "Now that's evil."  
>"Well yah thanks, I am the dark lord." Voldemort said. "Come onnnnnnn, just a few drinks, and we'll try and pick up some chicks."<strong>

"Voldemort picks up girls?" Harry exclaimed in obvious disbelief.  
>Many students flinched at the name.<br>"That's just not right. You-Know-Who would never have a girlfriend. He'd probably kill them," said Ron, frowning slightly.

'**Quirrell' frowned "I won't know what to say, I'm no good at that."  
>"Come on it'll be fun, you just move your lips and I'll do the talking." Voldemort said. After 'Quirrell' hesitated he continued.<br>"Quirrell, man, listen. I may just be a parasite on the back of your head, who is literally devouring your soul every time you take a breath. But I can see that you're too good of a guy not to have a bit of fun once and a while. You deserve this."  
>"Well if you put it that way, then yeah let's just go wild tonight." Quirrell said.<br>'Voldemort' let out something that sounded like a shriek/Laugh and wiggled his tongue "Put on a fresh pair of wizard shorts and grab your tunic. Quirrell we are gonna get you laid. Seriously, man back when I had a body, I had mad game with the bitches. Just ask Bellatrix Lestrange."**

"Ewww. That's disgusting. My aunt and _him_. Ewww. Bad images, bad images in my head," Draco Malfoy said, his smirk fading into a look of utter disgust.

***The screen faded to black, and then returned to normal***

'**Harry', 'Ron' and 'Hermione' walked in under the invisibility Cloak, which was only covering their heads.  
>"Well uh, this cloak isn't as big as it used to be." 'Ron' said.<strong>

"You think! We do get older and taller after all," Hermione said sarcastically.

**"Shh, someone's coming." 'Hermione' whispered as 'Malfoy', 'Crabbe' and 'Goyle' walked in. 'Malfoy' looked around for a second, as he thought he had heard something.  
>"Did you just hear something?" 'Draco' asked.<br>"No" 'Goyle' said. "Only quiet. Maybe one raindrop."  
>"No matter." 'Malfoy' said. "Tell me Goyle, who do you think is the ugliest girl in school."<strong>

"This should be interesting. After all, no girl finds _him _interesting," Pansy Parkinson said, sneering.  
>"Don't be so judgemental Pansy! No boy finds <em>you<em> attractive in the slightest, but they don't make fun of you because of that. Stop being so shallow and grow up!" Astoria Greengrass shouted. She stood up and walked towards the Gryffindor table.  
>"Mind if I sit here?" she asked Fred, who just stared at her, speechless along with the rest of the Hall, teachers included.<br>"I'll take that as a yes then," the brunette Slytherin said, sitting down next to Fred Weasley and Angelina Johnson.

'**Goyle' thought for a moment "Uh." He stroked his chin "Oh Buckbeak, for sure."  
>"Crabbe?" Malfoy asked.<br>"Uh, Winky the house elf." 'Crabbe' responded.**

"Actually, I don't find Winky that attractive." Crabbe said. It was weird to hear him speak. Normally he would just grunt and groan to get his message across.

**"Good one. Obscure." 'Malfoy' nodded. "Do you know who I think is the ugliest girl In school? That Hermione Granger."**

"Hey! I'm not ugly!" Hermione defended.  
>"Yeah. She's actually quite pretty," Ron added.<p>

"**You know what I would give her on a scale of one to ten. With one, one would be the ugliest and ten, ten would be pretty. I would give her an eight, eight point five, but not, not over a nine point eight, cause there is always room for improvement. Not everyone's perfect like me, that's why I am holding out for a ten, 'cause I'm worth it. Come on. Let's go," he said leaving, Crabbe and Goyle followed him.**

"WHAT!" Hermione yelled, spluttering in disbelief.  
>"Further proof that this is not real," said Draco. He still hadn't quite gotten over the argument between Pug face and Astoria. Astoria. What did she think of his 'crush' on Granger? To his dismay, Astoria was laughing with the Weasley's.<p>

**"Wow what a bunch of jerks" 'Harry' said.  
>"Alright forget them" 'Hermione' said. "Now where did you say you saw those crates being delivered?"<br>"I think they were supposed to be delivered to the auditorium so they should be at the end of this hallway and to the left." 'Ron' said.**

***The three of them pretended to walk on the spot away from the columns, which faded away in the distance.***

**"Look" 'Ron' exclaimed.  
>"A goat?" 'Hermione' asked.<br>"A goat!" 'Harry' said. "Oh my god I have to fight a goat I don't know if I can do that morally."**

'My brother couldn't,' Albus thought to himself.

'**Snape' and 'Dumbledore' entered. "And the goats have all been sent for feeding time headmaster," 'Snape' said.  
>"Feeding time?" 'Dumbledore' asked. "Dragons don't want to be fed. They wanna fight."<br>"Did he just say dragons?" 'Harry' asked.**

"Yes Harry!" exclaimed Ginny.

**"Did you just say 'did he just say dragons'?" 'Snape' asked.  
>"I must have, because anybody else hiding in this room would have known to have shut up Potter." 'Dumbledore' said.<strong>

Dumbledore himself, as well as most other people, laughed, while Luna sat looking thoughtful.  
>"Wrackspurts in someone's brain makes them able to read minds." She said this with a dreamy expression on her face.<p>

**"Headmaster do you really think it's wise to have children fight dragons?" 'Snape' asked.  
>"No Snape, I don't think it's wise to do anything anymore. Like here I am alive and well today and I could very well be killed by you tomorrow." Dumbledore said.<br>"Why that's absurd." Snape said.**

"Wouldn't put it past him," Harry muttered to Ron and Hermione. Ron grinned while Hermione looked disapproving.

***'Dumbledore' held out his hand to 'Snape'.* **

**"Severus, let's go to bed, have you ever seen my room. I've got some pretty kickin' posters on my walls." **

"'Severus, let's go to bed'? Are you gay Professor?" Hermione asked.  
>"Yes I am," the Headmaster replied. "Sorry Minerva. It would never have worked out between us."<br>Professor McGonagall looked quite happy at his words.  
>"Thank goodness. You were never really my type anyway."<p>

***As they walked away Dumbledore stopped holding Snape's hand so they wouldn't hit the trio, and then grabbed it again after they passed them.***

**"Well I am very tired." 'Snape' said as they left.**

***'Harry' pulled the cloak off.***

**"Man, I have to fight a dragon. This is bogus. How can I fight a dragon, I'm just a little kid."  
>"Alright, well maybe it won't be that bad Harry." 'Ron' said "Like maybe you'll just have to fight like Mushoo from 'Mulan'. Or I don't know like, like 'Puff the magic dragon'."<strong>

"Ron! 'Puff the magic dragon' is apparently about drugs. I highly doubt you will be fighting a drug addict!"  
>Charlie Weasley, resident dragon tamer and expert, said this all while trying not to laugh. As a result, it came out sounding rather jumbled up.<p>

**"Ron, this is serious okay. Harry could die." 'Hermione' said " Look there's still time. We just need to figure out a plan."**

'Smart girl' Mrs Weasley thought to herself. 'She and Ronald would make a great couple.'

**"Alright, well we should probably do that back in the common room. Where's the cloak?" 'Harry' said.  
>"Well I threw it on that magical walking chair over there." 'Ron' said.<strong>

"Alright, well that me is a bit of an idiot, don't you think?" Ron asked.  
>"Just like you then." Ginny said, smiling sweetly at her older brother.<br>Ron aimed a punch at his sister, but was stopped by Molly Weasley yelling 'NO!' loudly.

**"Well that's gonna be an issue." 'Harry' said as they all left.**

"Yes. Yes, that would be an issue." Fred, George, Lee and Astoria chorused this loudly, and then they all burst into a fit of laughter.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it, please review and see you in about two weeks!**

**Listening to Away From Me/Eternal- Evanescence. (Going to see Evanescence live at Wembley on 9****th**** November. So happy! (Reviews would make me more happy though.))**

**Yeah, thanks for reading and thank you to everyone who has added me or the story to their alerts or reviewed this story. It means so much to me!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello! I am honestly so sorry that I haven't updated for a very long time, but I started school again a month ago and it is pretty hard at the moment! Anyway, I hope I'm going to be updating a lot more soon, and thank you all so much for your reviews and everything! It means so much to me! I'm going to start writing now, so…**

**Listening to Pressure- Paramore**

**Starts with cheery piano music then Voldemort and Quirrell stumble in drunkenly.**

"Ummm, professor Dumbledore? Isn't it against the rules to be drunk?"  
>"Well, yes of course it is! But of course, there are going to be exceptions to any rule."<br>"Have you ever got drunk, Professor?" asked Seamus Finnegan in his strong Irish accent.  
>"Ummm, I shall talk to you about that later if you want to do so Mr Finnegan." Dumbledore calmly replied, his twinkle in his eye ever-present.<p>

**Quirrell: I thought walking home drunk was hard before.  
>Voldemort: We should have realized that with the both of us drinking into the same belly would get us twice as drunk. <strong>

"No wonder he wasn't in Ravenclaw! He couldn't even work that out!" Hermione Granger stated.  
>"Hermione, you're not in Ravenclaw! What does that say about you then?" Ron Weasley replied, smirking at his best friend.<br>"Oh shut up Ronald!" Hermione replied, blushing slightly at her own stupid comment.

**Voldemort: Hey Quirrell, Quirrell, Quirrell, Quirrell, Quirrell, Quirrell, Quirrell!**

"Hey Quirrell!" Fred and George Weasley chorused.

**Quirrell: I haven't had this ****much fun... Haven't had this much fun since nearly headless Nick's, Nick's death day party of '91.**

"He was there?!" Harry Potter half whispered half questioned Hermione.  
>"How would I know?! I don't know everything Harry, believe it or not!"<p>

**Voldemort: I haven't had this much fun since… uhh.. oh man..I can't remember ever having this much fun!**

"Somehow, I don't doubt that!" Molly Weasley almost shouted to the audience in the Great Hall.

**Quirrell: * looking confused* You've never had fun ever? Doing anything? Maybe that's why you so evil.**

**Voldemort: Yeah maybe.**

"Yeah possibly. Not too sure really."  
>"Really, I mean, I thought being evil made you feel amazing.<p>

**Quirrell: What is it, Voldemort?  
>Voldemort: Oh, it's just that I never…I never, ever really ever.. I never really ever, ever really ever, considered having another reason for being so evil. You know, because normally I just uh…I just kill people who try to get me to open up, you know.. oops! But uh, it's, it's kind of nice to just, um… kind of nice to just talk.<strong>

**Quirrell: Yeah! You know I have to admit I was kind of nervous when you first demanded that you attach yourself to my soul.**

"Who wouldn't be slightly nervous? I mean, it's _Voldemort _asking you to let him attach himself to your soul. It's hardly going to be a very pleasant conversation, is it?" said Harry.  
>Dumbledore was quiet at this. He knew that Harry had Voldemort attached to his soul, not by his choice of course, but Harry wouldn't know this.<p>

**Voldemort: Yeah, I could…. I could sense that it's kind of cool.**

**Quirrell: It's like having a really close roommate, or even…**

**Voldemort: Yeah, like a slave, like a, like a death eater**

**Quirrell: No man! It's like …having a friend  
><strong>

"That must be a new concept to you!" Harry stated, honestly wishing he could have said that to the real Quirrell.

**Voldemort: I never had a friend before.**

"Wonder why? I mean, I thought killing people made them you like you. Apparently it only makes them dead," said Ginny sarcastically.

**Quirrell: Well it looks like you got one now.  
><strong>

"Now that's just wrong!" Hermione cried out.  
>"Maybe all he needs is a friend! Sometimes friendship can lead to the greatest things of all- love, happiness and courage," said Luna in her usual dreamy way.<br>"That's not true! Are you saying that a mass murderer who deserves no sympathy deserves to have people liking him?" Hermione argued.  
>"I didn't say he necessarily deserves people liking him, just that he needs someone to tell him 'no' sometimes." Luna gave Hermione a cold look as she said this, almost daring Hermione to retort. The brunette Gryffindor stayed quiet.<p>

**Voldemort: Who would have thought that at the beginning of this year we'd feel like that for each other?**

**Voldemort: I guess everything is different between us now.**

**Quirrell: I guess it's plain to see when you look at you and me, we are different, different as can be.**

"Aww that's so sweet!" Cho Chang gushed.  
>"Hello! Are you forgetting something? This is the man who murdered my parents and killed countless other people and you think he's cute! I mean, seriously?!"<br>"Well, the actor playing him is rather attractive…" commented Ginny. Harry stared at his girlfriend in shock.  
>"So you would find me more attractive if I look like him?" Harry retorted.<br>"No, that's not what I meant! I mean…"  
>"Weasley, Potter, please stop arguing so we can watch the rest of this highly entertaining and rather unrealistic musical." This came from Severus Snape, who wore a look of disgust on his face as he stared intently at the two arguing Gryffindors.<p>

"Thank you. Now shall we watch the rest of the musical?" he asked the students.

There was an overwhelming response,  
>"YES!"<br>**  
><strong>**A/N: Thank you for reading and please keep the reviews coming. I will see you soon hopefully. BYE!  
>Listening to Sorrow- Flyleaf.<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I realise I have not updated for a very long time (over two months I think), and I really am truly sorry for that. This time of the year, (especially November), is always very busy for me. While I've been away, in no particular order, I have: been to an Evanescence concert at Wembley (9****th**** November- nearly cried at the end) and went to see Breaking Dawn part 2 and surprisingly liked it (I'm not much of a Twilight fan, and I had my doubts about the film.) While there, I met two awesome girls, Molly and Lori (hi if you're reading this!). I've also celebrated my birthday (I'm 15 now), and I have also had tons of exams and tests at school (oh joy!) Having said all of that, I hope you like this chapter! Also, I would like to give a special thank you to 'TheEpicDragonRider' for making it possible for me to be able to update more frequently. So, thank you!**

**Listening to Love Bites (So Do I) by Halestorm**

**The scene starts with the same jaunty piano music as before, and the camera zooms into Severus Snape's face.**

**Snape: The Hogwarts Champions shall now enter the champions' tent in preparation for the first task.**  
><strong>Harry: Man, I can't believe I gotta skip lunch period for this stupid task.<strong>

"Harry! Out of all the things you could be worried about, it's the fact that you miss lunch?!"  
>"HERMIONE! It's not me, okay," Harry protested, sending a glare to his best friend.<br>"Anyway, missing lunch was the least of your worries, right Harry?" Ron asked.  
>"Yes, of course it was. Don't know how you would have survived, Ron. Lunch is vital to <em>your<em> well being." Harry said, smirking at his ginger buddy.  
>"What's that supposed to mean?!" Ron asked.<br>"Just the fact that you may be _slightly _more concerned about food than the rest of us, Ronald," Hermione said, grinning.

**Hermione: Okay Harry, today's the day, the day you fight the dragon. Now, did you read those notes that I wrote for you on dragons?**  
><strong>Harry: No.<strong>

"Of course you wouldn't. Harry, why don't you ever listen to what I say? It may actually come in handy some time, you know!" Hermione asked, feeling quite upset that her best friend never seemed to listen to what she had to say.  
>"Hermione, this is not an accurate portrayal of any of us! I do listen to you, Ron does not spend all of his time eating, you don't have to do everything for us, and Ginny isn't as much of an idiot as we are led to believe she is! Hermione, you are amazing and clever, so of course I would listen to you!" Harry said, amazed that his best friend would think such things.<br>"Oh, Harry! Thank you so much! You are actually one of the best friends, I have ever had!"  
>"No problem, Hermione. No problem whatsoever."<p>

**Hermione: What, why not?**

**Harry: Are you kidding me, they were so boring.**

Hermione glared at Harry for this, wondering why on earth she was friends with that idiot.

**Hermione: So you didn't read them, you didn't prepare at all, you're not prepared at all?**

**Harry: Well no, but at least I have my wand…um, I brought my-**

**Hermione: Here.**

**Harry: Hey. -Nose tap- You're the best.**

"Please, don't ever do that again. I don't like it." Hermione stated.  
>"Sorry Hermione," Harry said, glad to see that his friend had cheered up, at least a little.<br>"No problem Harry. I know it is not really you saying that," Hermione reassured Harry.

**Hermione: Harry, just please don't die today. I don't wanna see my best friend get eaten by a dragon.**  
><strong>Harry: Hey, just relax okay. Save the tears for my funeral.<strong>

"How is that supposed to cheer me up? Harry, you have one heck of a weird way to make people feel better about everything!" Hermione cried out.  
>"Hermione, I would never say that in real life, okay?" Harry retorted.<br>Ron was starting to feel slightly annoyed at the amount of conversation that Harry and Hermione were having. To be honest, it was making him feel left out and unappreciated. He glared at Hermione and Harry for this although, of course, they didn't notice him.

**Cedric: So tell me more about this Pigfarts, I find it to be very interesting.**  
><strong>Draco: Well, while you're there you have to wear your spacesuit at all times because there's no atmosphere on Mars.<strong> **So, if a single docking bay door opens, you'll probably die.**  
><strong>Cedric: My, how dreadful.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Well, the good news is, if you're a good enough student, Rumbleroar lets you ride around on his back.<strong>  
><strong>Cedric: And he's the Headmaster Lion?<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Who can talk.<strong>

"That Rumbleroar dude sounds awesome! Professor, have you ever considered wearing a lion hat and telling everyone that you are from Mars and you are actually the Headmaster of Pigfarts?" Lee Jordan enquired, actually sounding quite serious in his questioning.  
>Albus Dumbledore gave Lee Jordan a weird look when he said that, wondering how on earth the Gryffindor had been able to know what he had been thinking.<br>"No. Of course I haven't!" the old man replied.

**Cedric: Oh, well hello, Harry, how are you feeling today?**  
><strong>Harry: Hey Cedric, trying to stay positive.<strong>  
><strong>Cedric: Well good, I'm a fine day myself. Miss Granger.<strong>  
><strong>Hermione: Hello.<strong>  
><strong>Cho: Sugar Pie!<strong>

"Bloody hell! Could they even be any cringier than that?" Ron exclaimed.  
>"Of course they could. Don't be so ridiculous Ronald." Hermione replied, glaring at her ginger friend.<p>

**Cedric: My darling.** **Was that a kiss for good luck?**  
><strong>Cho: No, that was being so cotton-picking cute! This one's for good luck.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I hate that guy.<strong>

"Don't be so rude, Harry!" Ginny said.  
>"Oh, I'm sorry Ginny. I honestly didn't mean to be so rude, I swear!" Harry replied.<br>Ginny rolled her eyes, and said "Yeah, whatever. I believe you."

**Hermione: It's okay Harry, you're gonna be great.**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Hello-AH! God Granger, I thought you were a boggart. I'm terrified of those things.<strong> **And what the hell are you doing in the champions' tent, get out of here. Ten more points!**

"Professor, I thought you used to be a Gryffindor. Why do you keep taking points from us then?" Ginny Weasley questioned.  
>"As we have reminded each other all day, this is NOT an accurate portrayal of ANY of us," the wise old man replied.<br>Ginny looked slightly embarrassed at even asking that question, and a blush rose on her cheeks.  
>"Sorry sir," she said, the blush slightly fading from her cheeks.<br>The Headmaster just smiled.  
>"No problem, Miss Weasley," he replied.<p>

**Harry: Thanks Hermione!**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Are you kids ready to fight a dragon?<strong> **Of course not, you're just children. What the hell I'm thinking?**

"Yes Albus." Mrs Weasley began threatingly. "What exactly _were _you thinking?"  
>Strangely enough, Dumbledore chose not to comment.<p>

**Outside of this tent are thousands upon thousands of screaming fans. They'll either be cheering for you or the dragon, but either way they're gonna be making some kind of noise.**

"Okay, who was cheering for the dragon here?!" Harry exclaimed.  
>Draco Malfoy at least had the decency to look ashamed.<br>Astoria Greengrass didn't look surprised in the least. Of course, she was probably expecting it.

**So, in order for the selection process to be fair, I am going to randomly select a card-board cut-out sized version of the dragon you will competing. For you Cedric, Puff the Magic Dragon.**

Hermione, the rest of the muggleborns, Harry and Dean Thomas all laughed at the song reference. Many others were left confused, until Hermione shouted "MUGGLE SONG!"

**Figment the Imaginary Dragon –hands to Cho-,**

"At least my dragon will be easy to fight," Cho mused quietly.

**The Reluctant Dragon –hands to Draco-,**

"Reluctant of what exactly? Fighting? Because I'll be fine with that." Draco asked, feeling slightly disgusted.

**And for you Potter, the Hungarian Horntail, the most terrifying you've ever seen your whole life!**

"Oh, that's just typical! Give everyone else easy dragons, and I'm left with the most vicious dragon that has possibly ever existed," Harry exclaimed in disbelief.

**If there are no more complaints than I'll-**  
><strong>Harry: Wait, wait, hold on a second! This is terrifying; those are the cutest things I've ever seen.<br>Dumbledore: -gestures to Pigment the Imaginary Dragon- This thing is horrifying, just use your imagination.** **Disapparate!**

"'Just use your imagination'! That is the most stupid piece of advice I have _ever _heard in my life." Minerva McGonagall said this to her boss with the hint of a smile on her face.

**Ron: My god, this competition's gonna suck all these dragons are wimps. Accio Double-Stuff.**  
><strong>Look at that one-OH MY GOD, MONSTER!<strong>  
><strong>Is that yours?<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Yeah.<strong>

**Ron: Oh my god, it's awesome can I hold it? -takes dragon- Oh my god, this thing is terrifying; I hope the real thing is smaller. Argh! Ferocious, what are you gonna do?**

"I don't know, Ron. I honestly don't know." Harry said.  
>"Well, it's just a good thing that I'm not fighting the dragon instead of you." Ron replied.<p>

**Harry: I don't know, I'm not cut out for this-**  
><strong>Hermione: Ron, Ron you can't be in here, this is the champions' tent!<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Miss Granger, what the devil are you doing in the champions' tent? Ten points from Gryffindor.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Ugh.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Thanks Hermione.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Thanks Hermione.<strong>

"Thanks Hermione!" Fred and George chorused. Hermione raised her eyebrows at them and glared.

**Ron: Hey, good luck buddy. Bye Snape.**  
><strong>Snape: Bye.<strong>

"Aww, ickle Ronniekins has a new friend," Bill teased, smirking at his youngest brother.  
>Snape glared at the oldest Weasley child, but didn't say anything.<p>

**Cedric Diggory, now is your chance to face your dragon.**  
><strong>Cedric: Alright fellas, wish me luck.<strong>  
><strong>Cho: I believe in you.<strong>  
><strong>Cedric: That's all I needed to hear.<strong>

Cho looked a little sad at the mention of her deceased boyfriend, but neglected to speak up.

**Harry: Malfoy, tell you what, I'll let you switch dragons with me. I'll give you the chance to switch dragons with me; I'll give you that opportunity.**

"Really?" Draco asked, sounding a little surprised. 

**Tell you what, don't worry about it.**

"Oh, that makes more sense," Draco said, glaring at his sworn enemy.

**Malfoy: Um, let think about…no.**  
><strong>Harry: Come on, I'll give you my Gushers.<strong>  
><strong>Malfoy: Oh no, no, I have a Fruit by the Foot, I don't want Gushers.<strong>

"What are these 'Gushers' and 'Fruit by the Foot' things?" Ron asked.  
>"They are Muggle sweets. I'd have thought you would have known that Ronald, what with your love for food and everything," Hermione replied.<br>Ron looked a little downtrodden that Hermione thought his life revolved around food. Hermione saw Ron's downcast expression and moved closer to him.  
>"Ron," she whispered into his ear. "I don't really think that your life revolves around sweets. If it did, you would be remarkably overweight, and you are not. I love you just the way you are."<br>Ron smiled at his girlfriend, his heart lifting at her kind words.  
>"Thank you Hermione," he replied. "I love you too."<p>

**Snape: Cho Chang, your dragon a waits.**  
><strong>Cho: Well, I can't imagine this would be very hard.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Then I imagine it won't be.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Come on, tell you what, I'll throw in my Teddy Grams with the Gushers, you can make little Gusher-Teddy Gram sandwiches.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Alright, you throw in that pack of Bugles and you got yourself a deal.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Absolutely not.<strong>

"You idiot, Harry! You just decided to fight the hardest dragon because you didn't want to give away some sweets!" Ginny Weasley exclaimed.

**Snape: Draco Malfoy…**  
><strong>Harry: Professor Snape, is there any way that I can, I don't know, forfeit or switch dragons or even just take the day off?<strong>  
><strong>*Snape starts pouring tomato ketchup onto Harry*<br>Harry: What are you doing?**  
><strong>Snape: I'm protecting you Potter. Welsh Green Backs can't stand the taste of Heinz tomato ketchup.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: But I'm not fighting a Welsh Green Back, I'm fighting a Hungarian Horntail.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Oh, well silly me, Heintz tomato ketchup is what Hungarian Horntails love best of all. *Takes the cardboard cut out away*<br>Snape: ** **There you go Potter. *Snape leaves.***  
><strong>Harry: What?<strong>

"Oh, thank you so much Professor!" Harry said sarcastically.  
>Severus Snape smirked and said, "Nothing less than what you deserve, Potter."<p>

**Dumbledore: And now Harry Potter will fight the terrifying Hungarian Horntail, the most terrifying thing you'll ever see your whole life. It should be noted that this particular dragon has not been fed in two weeks.**

"Sir, they were fed in the actual competition, right?" Harry asked nervously.  
>"Yes, of course they were. Charlie, you and the rest of the dragon handlers did remember to feed the dragons, didn't you?" Dumbledore queried.<br>"Ummm, I think so," the second eldest Weasley answered.  
>At the shocked look on Harry's face, he quickly said, "Of course we did feed them, Harry. If we didn't feed them, I would most likely not have a job anymore."<br>Harry looked very reassured at this.

**Hermione: Come on Harry.**  
><strong>Ron: Harry! Woo!<strong>  
><strong>Harry: AHHH!<br>*everyone screams as dragon bites Harry*  
>Harry: Oh my god, uh, uh, uh, Accio Guitar! <strong>

"SINGING! That's your big plan to defeat the dragon? With SINGING?!" Ginny and Hermione both yelled.  
>"Calm down. I didn't really sing!" Harry said, defending himself.<p>

***Singing*** **Hey Dragon, you don't gotta do this. Let's re-evaluate our options, throw away our old presumptions 'cause really you don't gotta go through with this. I'm really not that special, the Boy-Who-Lived is only flesh and bone.**  
><strong>The truth is in the end, I'm pretty useless without friends; in fact I'm alone. I spend my time at school trying to be this cool guy I never even asked for. I don't know any spells, still manage to do well, but there's only so long that can last for. I'm living off the glory of a stupid children's story that I had nothing to do with. I just sat there and got lucky.<strong>

"Awww, Harry! You never told us this." Hermione said this with fresh tears glistening in her brown eyes.  
>"Hermione, it's fine. Really," Harry reassured her, leaning over to hug her. Hermione clutched at Harry's shirt as her sobs rattled through the hall. Ron and Ginny joined in with the hugging, and there was soon a mass of bodies hugging each other.<p>

**Harry: So level with me buddy, I can't defeat thee, so please don't eat me. **

"Good rhyming, Harry!" Fred grinned.  
>Harry smiled at Fred, and even Hermione managed to smile slightly through her tears.<p>

**Harry: All I can do is sing this song for you, la-la-la-la-la!**  
><strong>Dragon: La-la-la-la-la!<strong>  
><strong>Harry: La-la-la-la-la!<strong>  
><strong>Dragon: La-la-la-la-la!<strong>  
><strong>Harry: La-la-la-la-la!<strong>  
><strong>Dragon: La-la-la-la-la!<strong>  
><strong>Both: La-la-la-la-la!<strong>  
><strong>Harry: You never asked to be a dragon. I never asked to be a champion!<strong> ** We both just jumped on this bandwagon, when all we need is guitar jammin'.**

"Mr. Potter, have you ever considered joining the school choir? We could certainly use a singer like you in there," Professor Flitwick asked.  
>Harry looked at his Charms teacher and just laughed.<br>"Me! Seriously?! I am awful singer! That's not me singing anyway!" Harry protested admist laughter from the entire hall. Even his Charms teacher was laughing.

**Harry: So la-la-la-la-la!**  
><strong>Dragon: La-la-la-la-la!<strong>  
><strong>Harry: La-la-la-la-la!<strong>  
><strong>Dragon: La-la-la-la-la…<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Goodnight Dragon. 1-2-3 I beat the dragon!<strong>

"Woo! Go Harry! WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!"  
>The entire Weasley family shouted their support for Harry, and soon the whole hall was cheering, even the Professors.<p>

**Ron: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!**

And to one person's upmost surprise, even Draco Malfoy was cheering quietly. Astoria Greengrass, sitting at the Gryffindor table, had seen Draco's cheering. And as the rest of the Hall was cheering, Astoria whispered to herself, "I knew he wasn't all bad."

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Hope you all had a marvellous Christmas! If you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you had an awesome Tuesday! Thank you for all the reviews and follows and favourites, it really means a lot to me! I hope I'll see you all very soon! BYE!**

**Listening to Amy Says by Flyleaf**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I AM AN AWFUL PERSON! GAAH, I know I haven't updated since January which was nearly three months ago, and I am so sorry for that! Unfortunately, I am only 15 which means that I am still in school, and that has to come first, although I wish it wouldn't. Trust me, I'd much rather be writing all day than going to school, but it's a legal requirement which sucks. In other news, three of my favourite youtubers just hit 1 million subscribers- Dan Howell (who's YouTube channel is called danisnotonfire, and John and Hank Green (their YouTube channel is called vlogbrothers), and I'm very happy to be subscribed to both channels as they are all amazing!**

**In other news, THIS STORY REACHED 100 REVIEWS! AAAAAHHHH, thank you all so much for reviewing! SkyeElf demands applause for being the 100****th**** reviewer so here it is! *insert wild screaming and clapping here* But seriously, thank you everyone for reviewing, you really have no idea how much it means to me! Yeah, I hope you like this chapter!**

**Listening to Walking In The Air- Nightwish **

**Snape: Attention all Hogwarts students, tonight is the Yule Ball so please pick me your Yule Ball Wreathe and give it to that special someone. (Ginny walks on) Ah, Ginger!**

"Hey! You can't pick on me just because I'm ginger!" Ginny cried in outrage.  
>"I think you'll find I can, Miss Weasley," the hook nosed teacher replied.<br>"Well, that's not fair," Ginny muttered under her breath, huffing in annoyance as she did.

**Ginny: Oh, hey Harry Potter!**  
><strong>Harry: Oh hey Ginny.<strong>  
><strong>Ginny: Fancy seeing you here?<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Uh it's the cafeteria so yeah…<strong>

"Wow Harry," Hermione laughed. "She's flirting with you! You are completely and utterly hopeless!"  
>"Oh you're one to talk!" Harry retorted.<br>"What do you mean?"  
>"Well, Ron's fancied you pretty much since the first train ride." He replied. Hermione stared at Ron. "Really?" she asked, sounding a little nervous.<br>"Yeah, of course I have." Ron said this with a smile.  
>"Well this is all very cute and everything, but we are waiting to continue watching this play." Severus Snape sneered. Ron and Hermione blushed and quickly fell silent.<p>

**Ginny: Um, so the Yule Ball is coming up…**  
><strong>Harry: Yeah, I know it is, very soon.<strong>  
><strong>Ginny: Well, were you thinking of going with anybody?<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I was! I was actually just waiting for the right time to ask somebody and I think, I think that time is about now. So, if you have something to say just say it.<strong>  
><strong>Ginny: -Screams and gives the Yule Ball wreath to Harry-<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Oh, is this for me? Ah, how did you know I would need a wreath so I could ask Cho Chang out, you're the best!<strong>

"Harry Potter! Do not be so rude to your girlfriend!" Molly Weasley cried out.  
>"Mrs Weasley, I don't mean to be rude by saying this, but do you realise that this is fictional?" Harry replied.<br>Molly looked very flustered. "Well dear, I'm um very sorry. I guess I was, well, so caught up in watching the musical that I forgot that it wasn't exactly real."  
>"That's alright Molly," Harry said with a small smile.<br>"You're a bit of an idiot, aren't you?" Ginny said to Harry.  
>Harry glared at his girlfriend, then he laughed and replied that yes, he was stupid.<p>

**Ginny: Uh, Harry Potter, just forget it. (goes off stage crying)**  
><strong>Harry: Alright I will! Cool!<strong>

Ginny glared at Harry intensely for this.  
>"Sorry," Harry said, lowering his head a little.<p>

**Harry: Hey, hey Cho Chang listen, um I know the Yule Ball is come up and I was wondering if uh, maybe you wanted to go with me BUT just in case you're kind of on the fence about it, you should know that I play guitar and I beat a dragon's heart with it and so I think I can conquer yours. **

"Oh please don't sing, Potter. It'll just give me a stinking headache." Professor McGonagall stated.

**Harry: (singing) You're tall and fun and pretty, you're really really skinny, Cho Chang! I'm the Mickey to your Minnie, the Tigger to my Winnie, Cho Chang! You're cuter than a guinea pig, gonna take you out to Winnipeg that's in Canada! Oh Cho Chang! **

"Good to see that you know some basic geography," Hermione said sarcastically.  
><strong><br>Harry: (normal) Whatever.  
>Cho: Oh my, Harry Potter, bless your heart. Um, but I have to say no. You're a young strapping boy but Cedric Diggory already asked me and I have to go with him. Sorry. Come on girls, let's go show Moaning Myrtle our ball gowns and make fun of her because she can't go!<br>Friends: Yeah! (they all leave)**

"You're so rude, Cho!" Astoria exclaimed.  
>"Are you saying that you've <em>never <em>made fun of her before?" Cho enquired.  
>Astoria started to blush a little. "Of course I had made fun of her before I realised how cruel it was."<p>

**Ron: Hey there little buddy how yah doing?**  
><strong>Harry: Hey…<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Is that a Yule Ball wreathe?<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Yeah…<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Who you gonna ask? (In weird female voice)<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I asked Cho Chang but she turned me down for Cedric Stupory.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: That's so great I love him so much. They're such a cute couple…<strong>

"Wow, way to be tactful Ron," Hermione said disapprovingly.  
>"In my defence, I didn't know he was asking Cho!" Ron replied<p>

**Harry: No, no, no, no…**  
><strong>Ron: I hate him<br>Harry: Yeah**

"Smooth, dear brother." Ginny said.****

**Ron: I hate him so much. Oh my god he pisses me off.** **Ah man, that sucks dude, I don't know why she'd turn you down you're the coolest guy in school!**

"I wasn't exactly loved last year," Harry said sombrely, recalling the events of the Tri Wizard Tournament.

**Harry: I get it, I play guitar, I'm Harry Potter, I'm awesome.**  
><strong>Ron: Reesie's Pieces?<strong>

"Trust you to be offering food. Just like your father." Molly said disapprovingly. Her husband glared at her.  
>"What exactly are you trying to say about me?" Arthur Weasley asked, although his voice had a joking tone to it.<br>"Nothing dear," Molly replied.

**Harry: Yeah.** **I don't get it man, maybe I'll just go stag.**  
><strong>Ron: Well, I'll probably go stag too. The only two girls I know who don't have dates are Ginny (thumbs down)<strong> **and Hermione.**  
><strong>Harry: Oh my god, (thumbs down big time).<strong>

Hermione and Ginny both glared at the two boys for this.  
>"You two are so horrible to us!" Ginny exclaimed.<p>

**Ron: Yeah and I'm not going with my stupid sister.**

"I am not stupid!" said sister stated.  
>"Sorry Ginny," Ron replied.<p>

**Harry: And I think of Hermione as a sister so that's out.**

"Well, I think of you as a brother," Hermione said and smiled at her best friend.

**Ron: We are in such a puzzle.**  
><strong>Neville: Hi, look at these strapping young men.<strong>

"Since when did we become strapping young men?" Ron and Harry asked.  
>"You didn't," Neville replied. "And you never will."<br>"Cheers mate!" Ron and Harry exclaimed.  
>"I'm just joking you know."<br>"Yeah we know. We are strapping young men."

**Both: Hey Neville.**  
><strong>Harry: Hey Neville, want this Yule Ball Wreathe?<strong>  
><strong>Neville: Yeah, if you feel like parting with it, then I will take this wreathe.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Hey Ron, let's go hang out with Hagrid, teach us how to dance and we can get in our dress robes.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: That can only lead to disaster and hilarity, let's go!<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I just don't know about Hermione, I mean, who would want to go with her? She's so vile and hideous…<strong>

"I no longer think of you as a brother." Hermione said, but she said it jokingly. "I know you don't think that I'm vile or hideous. If you did, then I highly doubt you would speak to me."  
>"Good thing we don't think that of you," Ron replied. "It would be terrible not to talk to you."<p>

**Goyle: Give that plant nerd!**  
><strong>Neville: Ah!<strong>  
><strong>Goyle: Ooo, Goyle rules!<strong>  
><strong>Draco: So anyways, it was reluctant to move at first but I lured it out of its cage with an upside down face, lassoed it with my Fruit by the Foot and beheaded it with a quick Slicing Charm. What, Goyle, what're you doing with that wreathe, what you're gonna ask somebody to the Yule Ball?<strong>  
><strong>Goyle: No…dancing's for nerds.<strong>  
><strong>Crabbe: and pretty girls.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Right, you know the last girl I'd end up asking to the Yule Ball would be? That Hermione Granger, not even if we were the last two people on Earth and she looked absolutely stunning in her ball gown so that every time I looked at her I got butterflies in my tummy. Not even then…<strong>

Hermione Granger didn't seem to know what to say to that, and neither did the real life Draco Malfoy. They just sat in their respective spaces, staring at each other. Hermione found herself thinking that she would have had a better Yule Ball had she been dancing with Draco, and Draco was thinking that anyone, even Granger, would have been a better dance partner that Pug faced Parkinson. But they both knew that stating their thoughts aloud would cause only drama, and neither of them wanted that. So they remained silent.

**Draco: You know, they don't even have dances at Pigfarts.** **All the noise would disturb Rumbleroar's slumbering cubs.**  
><strong>Goyle: Dancing is for pansies.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Hey you there what's your name?<strong>  
><strong>Girl: Pansy.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Perfect! You're going to the Yule Ball with me.<strong>

"So you went to the Yule Ball with me just because my name is Pansy?! You know what? We're over dating."  
>"We never started!" Draco defended.<br>Astoria looked delighted at this argument. 'Maybe I do have a chance,' she thought to herself.

**Draco: You see that dragon? Well, it was reluctant enough at first but I lured it out of its cage with an upside down face…**  
><strong>Quirrell: Yule Ball decorating crew! Just the Yule Ball decorating crew coming through. Last minute decorations…my Lord, the Yule Ball have finally arrived. I've brought the key!<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Yes, I know Quirrell, I hear everything you hear!<strong>

"Well, they did share a pair of ears." Hermione stated.  
>"We know that, Hermione. They are sharing a head!" Ron exclaimed.<p>

**Quirrell: I'm sorry.**  
><strong>Voldemort: No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped.<strong> **I'm just nervous, that's all.**

"Voldemort said sorry?! Is this some kind of alternate universe or something?" Hermione enquired.

**Quirrell: Nervous, (Voldemort: No) why?**  
><strong>Voldemort: I don't wanna talk about it.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Hey, it's just me. You can tell me anything, you know that.<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Yeah, yeah you're right, you're right. I'm just nervous because we've been planning this night for so long and I want everything to go perfectly, you know.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Don't worry, we've mapped out everything. We've anticipated every little problem and compensated for it. We've even prepared what you're going to say to Potter when you see him. So just cool down, relax. By the end of the night you'll have your revenge and your body back.<strong>

"Well, it's nice to see that Voldemort plans out his little speeches for me." Harry said that sarcastically, and with a hint of a smile on his face.  
>"It's almost like he spends his free time plotting his evil speeches more than he does on trying to kill you." Ginny said. "And that is a very good thing."<p>

**Voldemort: You're right, I'm being silly. But you know, Quirrell over the last year I've really grown attached to you, no pun intended.**  
><strong>Quirrell: Yeah, I know what you mean.<strong> **But hey, we'll still hang out. Just because we won't be attached doesn't mean we'll be two completely different people, no pun intended.**  
><strong>Voldemort: Oh no, of course not! Quirrell, we should make plans...(Quirrell: Evil Plans?) Oh! Uh, no casual plans like um, we could go rollerblading on a Saturday and then see a movie that night.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Yeah, that'll be great because we'll both be able to watch it for a change.<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Yeah, yeah, I bet it'll be nice to sleep in our own beds, not have someone behind you all the time.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: And have the privacy of my old life back again, solitude.<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Know whatever happens tonight, man, it's been a blast.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Yeah, one crazy year! (Voldemort does weird tongue thing) Hey, promise we'll go rollerblading and see that movie.<strong>

"For some reason, I can't really imagine Voldemort and Quirrell rollerblading and going to the cinema." George said.  
>"Me neither, George." Fred said. "Voldemort would be terrible at rollerblading!"<p>

**Voldemort: Oh man, I promise. (Quirrell hugs himself)** **Okay, Quirrell, let's go plant that key and split, pun intended!**

**Snape: Oh, why Professor Quirrell? What on earth are you doing in the Great Dance Hall, just moments before the dance?**  
><strong>Quirrell: Just decorating for the Yule Ball, last minute decorations, just one final touch…<strong>  
><strong>Snape: A ladle?<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: A very special ladle for a very special night for a very special punch.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: What's so special about it?<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Let's just say there's Squirt in it.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Squirt! Is that not the favourite drink of one Harry Potter?<strong>

"No it most certainly is not!" Harry said this, attacking the alternate Harry's terrible drink taste. "I'd much rather drink Butterbeer or pumpkin juice."

**Quirrell: Is it? I had no idea. Well, we'd better be going (Snape: We?) I! I better be going loud music hurts my ears.**  
><strong>Snape: Okay well I'll see you later than.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Maybe you won't.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Or maybe I will.<strong>  
><strong>Dumbledore: Excuse me, it's my fault, hey Severus!<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Oh Headmaster.<strong>  
><strong>Dumbledore: What're you doing here? You getting some punch or something?<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Oh no, no, no, there's Squirt in it.<strong>

**Dumbledore: Oh, only Harry Potter would drink that hog's shit, I'll stick to my Red Bull, thank you very much.**

"Okay, what the fuck is Red Bull?!" Ron asked. Molly glared at him for his language.  
>"It's a Muggle energy drink. Apparently it tastes good with vodka." Hermione explained.<br>The entire Great Hall turned to give Hermione a strange look when she said this.  
>"I mean umm, not that I would know. I don't drink at all. Really, I don't! I prefer whiskey anyway." Hermione tried to defend herself.<br>"Wait, so you don't drink, yet you say that you prefer whiskey meaning that you do drink? That statement is full of contradictions." Astoria said, feeling very confused.  
>"Yes." Hermione stated simply.<br>Astoria just shook her head in disbelief.  
>"You are just impossible, Hermione," she said.<p>

**Snape: Well goodnight Headmaster.**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Severus, I saved this last dance for you.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Oh well I would Headmaster but you see, well an old friend is coming back into town tonight. (giggles)<strong>

"Snape, you're gay?!"  
>"An <em>old friend<em>?! Who is it?"  
>"Professor Snape, did you really just giggle?"<p>

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Have you watched A Very Potter Senior Year yet? I've watched it twice now and I love it more every time I watch it! From the time this chapter is uploaded, I will start answering any questions you may have about the story, so if you have any questions, feel free to leave them in a review. I've finished my homework for this half term, so I might update sometime next week. Hopefully I can! See you soon!**

**Listening to White Night Fantasy by Nightwish**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So it turns out that I'm not the best at uploading new chapters at a reasonable time, doesn't it? I'm very sorry that it took me so long to update, but school has been getting in the way, and I need to put my schoolwork first. Anyway, the summer holidays for the UK are coming up soon, which means that I ****may**** update more often, (not likely!) Anyway, this scene is one of my favourites, and I think you can guess why! Hope I can do this justice! As always, thank you for the reviews and messages, (Halunygin), and don't forget to review if you likey, (or don't likey)!**

**Listening to ****Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan**** by Nightwish.- '****Oman taivaan tänne loin****. ****Anna minun päästä pois'****- 'My own heaven I created here. Let me get away'**

"Severus Snape, I advise you to STOP GIGGLING at once. I do wish to finish watching the play; I also think that you are interrupting far too much."  
>This came from a very displeased the current 'Defence against the Dark Arts' teacher, who was glaring at the Potions professor. Severus chose not to reply, instead settling for glaring at the much hated toad which was Dolores Umbridge.<br>"You gonna press play or what?" Ron asked.  
>"Yes, of course," Umbridge replied, but not first without giving the ginger an unpleasant stare.<p>

**Harry: Hey Ron what's up?  
>Ron: Hey dude, guess…<br>Harry: What, what's wrong?  
>Ron: Nothing, nothing it's just, you know, I heard Parvati Patil telling Padma Patil that she had seen Hermione in the girls' locker room crying her eyes out in a bathroom stall.<strong>

"You were crying. Why?" Harry asked his best friend.  
>"I don't know, do I? It's fictional, so it probably didn't happen," the brunette replied.<br>Harry seemed to accept this, but thought back to their first year, when Hermione's crying in the bathroom led to Ron and him becoming friends with her. He didn't say anything to Hermione however, although he could sense that Ron was thinking the same thing as he was.

**Harry: Crying?**  
><strong>Ron: I don't know isn't that like the saddest thing you've ever heard? I mean, I don't, it's just that it was inevitable that one day Hermione would realize that no guy would ever like her, <strong>

"Excuse me?!" Hermione said, raising her voice significantly. She glared at the Weasley. "'No guy will ever like me'. Try telling that to my ex boyfriend."  
>Ron looked too shocked to say anything.<br>Harry leaned over to Hermione. "Your ex boyfriend? I didn't realise you'd ever even had a boyfriend," he whispered.  
>Hermione replied, "I don't. I know that and you know that, but HE doesn't know that."<br>Harry just smiled at his friend because he couldn't find any words to say.

**Ron: You know because of her obnoxious personality, her ugly face and her misshapen body but you know, it's just that I figured she'd get in at least one night of happiness before she realized she's gonna be growing old alone, you know?**  
><strong>Draco: Hey you two over here talking about Granger?<strong>

"So Ron's talking about someone ugly and with a bad personality and you automatically assume that Ron is talking about me? What is this, 'everyone be rude about Hermione' day or something?!"  
>"Your body's not <em>that <em>bad!" Draco said, defending his character. He turned red as he realised exactly what he had said.  
>By the time that Malfoy had blushed, the rest of the school caught onto what he had said, and stared at him in disbelief.<p>

"WHAT?!" they chorused, all teachers except toad-face included. Said toad-face took that chance to continue playing the play.

**Harry: Get out of here. This is none of your business. Why don't you go dance with Pansy over there?**

**Draco: Hey, go get me some punch.**

**Pansy: Okay, um I should tell you there's Squirt in it.**  
><strong>Harry: Oh, nice!<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Squirt? Never mind I'll stay dehydrated. Go powder your nose or something.<strong>  
><strong>Pansy: I just fixed my make-up a little while ago.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Trust me, you need more powder. <strong>

"Hey! That's not nice!" Pansy complained to her beloved Draco.  
>"I don't care. You do realise that no one actually likes you, right?"<br>"But Draco, you're my Drakey. You're not supposed to be mean to me!"  
>"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm NOT yours and I DON'T LIKE YOU. Just piss off and leave me alone!"<br>And so Pug-faced Parkinson just sat and cried about how much everyone hated her and the play continued.

**Draco: Pain in the ass, right?** **So anyway, heard Granger's not around here, probably better too, no one would be able to keep their hummus and peach juice with that Muggle arse of hers dancing about.**  
><strong>Ron: God, why don't you just give her a break for once okay Malfoy?<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Why defending her Weasley? Have a crush?<strong>

Both Ron and Hermione turned red at this.

**Weasley: No, no why all the insults Malfoy? Covering up a crush?**

Now Malfoy went red.

**Draco: Oh right, like I could ever have a crush on that stupid girl…**

"Glad to hear it, but I am NOT stupid." Hermione said to Malfoy.

**Cho: Oh my god, she looks beautiful bless her heart!**

"Awww, thanks Cho!" Hermione said, smiling at the Ravenclaw.  
>"No problem," Cho replied, smiling at the Gryffindor.<p>

**Ron: (singing) Here I am, face-to-face, with a situation I never thought I'd ever see. Strange, how a dress can make a mess and make her nothing less than beautiful to me.** **It seems like my eyes have been transfigured, something deep inside has changed. They've been opened wide but hold that trigger! This could mean…danger.**

"I'm dangerous?!"  
>"Yeah, you're terrifying." Ron replied saracastically.<strong><strong>

**Ron: I'm falling in love, falling in love, falling in love. I think I'm falling in love, falling in love, falling in love…with Hermione Granger.**

"You are?!"  
>"I am?! Wait, yes. I am."<br>Hermione smiled and hugged the ginger.

**Draco: What, what the hell is this? You expect me to sing about her, I don't care about her! **

"Oh, thanks," Hermione said sarcastically.  
>"It wasn't me," Draco said.<br>"So you do care about me!"  
>"No I don't! When did I say that?" he responded.<br>"I know. You didn't say that. I was just messing around with you."****

**Draco: It's just a little make-up, Draco wake up! I'm mistaken…** **She is the hottest girl I've ever seen. Now she's like a girl I've never seen , don't know why I'd ever be so mean. This could mean, danger. I'm falling in love, falling in love, falling in love. I could be falling in love, falling in love, falling in love…with Hermione Granger.**

"Awww, looks like poor Ronniekins has competition," said the twins, smirking at their youngest brother.  
>"Shut up!" both Ron and Draco shouted at the twins.<p>

**Both: I wanna let her know (Draco: I feel so queasy.)**  
><strong>Both: But I can't let it show (Ron: She'd laugh, poor Weasley.)<strong>

"No I wouldn't." Hermione said, gazing fondly at her friend.

**Both: Come one**  
><strong>Ron: Ron<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Draco<strong>  
><strong>Both: You've gotta let it go. You gotta let it go!<strong>

*** singing together***  
><strong>Ron: Here I am face-to-face with a situation I never, ever thought I'd see. Strange, how a dress can take a mess and make her nothing less than beautiful to me! It seems like my eyes have been transfigured. Something deep inside has changed. They've been opened wide but hold that trigger.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: What, *notices erection* what the hell is this? <strong>

At this point, not even the teachers could contain their thoughts. At one single moment, the teachers and students simultaneously erupted into uncontrollable fits of laughter, much to the embarrassment of a certain blonde Slytherin.

**Draco:I want to sing about her, sing about her. I want to make up, Draco wake up! I've been mistaken. She is the hottest girl I've ever seen.  
><strong> 

"Really? I am I _really _the hottest girl you've ever seen?" Hermione asked.  
>"No," Draco replied truthfully, and his eyes wondered over to where Astoria Greengrass was sitting.<p>

**Draco: Now, cause she's like a girl I've never seen. Don't know why I'd ever be so mean.**

"Ummm, maybe because you're a ferret?" Harry asked, laughing at the memory of Draco Malfoy transfigured into the animal.

**Both: This could mean…danger! I'm falling in love, falling in love, falling in love. I think I'm falling in love, falling in love, falling in love…with Hermione Granger, with Hermione Granger, with Hermione Granger…danger!**

"So this scene went from you lot bitching about me," Hermione gestured towards Ron and Draco, "to you two singing your love for me. That was just weird."  
>Both Ron and Draco nodded their heads in agreement. "Definitely weird."<p>

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Don't forget to review or message**

**Listening to Ghost Love Score by Nightwish. (One of THE best songs EVER wrote, which goes very well with LOTR and HP fan videos as well!)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since I've updated anything, but I've not had much motivation to write anything, and if I forced myself to write with no motivation, I would've ended writing an awful chapter which no one likes, so I decided to wait until I had motivation so I could write a chapter that not only you want to read, but one that I want to read. I also have an important question for you, which will be at the end of this chapter, and I would really like to hear your thoughts and opinions.  
>Listening to Waiting Out The Winter by The Agonist<strong>

"If this scene is about me, I may just kill someone." Hermione said this with a quite serious expression on her face. Students and teachers alike stared at her in surprise, and those sitting around her backed away slowly. Harry and Ginny laughed nervously.  
>Ron just stared at the Gryffindor and said, "That's very out of character for you. You won't actually kill anyone, will you?"<br>Hermione laughed and said, smiling, "Of course not! I just wanted to see how you'd all react. You all reacted exactly how I expected you to, so thank you for that!"  
>Luna started laughing, and it sounded as if she was choking due to her extreme laughing.<br>"It's not that funny, Luna," Ginny said to the blonde Ravenclaw, frowning slightly. This made Luna collapse into another set of laughter.  
>"But, it's just, it's just so funny!" She replied, and was having difficulty with her speech because of her laughter. Soon after, her laughter triggered the rest of the people present into following suit.<p>

Professor Dolores Jane Umbridge glared at the blonde who had started a laughing fit, and pressed play on the laptop.

**Ron: Oh my god, I can't believe it.**  
><strong>Harry: What?<strong>  
><strong>Ron: I just-just can't believe she's dancing with every guy but me. That's so stupid, that's so stupid.<strong>

"No, you're stupid. Am I not allowed to dance with other people?" Hermione asked Ron.  
>"HEY! I'm not stupid! And, well, I'd kind of, um, prefer it if you were dancing with me." Ron said the last part of his sentence so fast that he ended up mumbling it. Hermione gave him a look of confusion.<br>"What was the last part of that sentence?" she asked. Ron didn't look at her, choosing instead to stare at his hands and mutter something incomprehensible while turning red.

**Harry: Why do you even care man?**  
><strong>Ron: I know right, I don't care, I don't care and that's what I'm going to go tell her. I'm going to go say I don't care what you do and she's going to feel so damn stupid.<strong> **She's going to feel like such an idiot.**

"I don't think I'm the one who feels like an idiot right now." Hermione said this while pointedly staring at Ron.

**Harry: Listen Ron, you're acting like a real jerk, maybe you should take it easy on the Butterbeer.**

"That implies that Ron's getting drunk on Butterbeer, WHICH HAS NO ALCOHOL!" Ginny shouted.  
>"God, little sister. Calm down already. They're Muggles. They're not gonna know what is our version of alcohol, are they?!" Bill said to his youngest sibling.<br>"Fair point," Ginny replied, seeming much calmer.

**Ron: No, no.  
>Hermione: Hey guys!<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Hermione, you look great. You look wonderful.<strong>

"Awww, thanks Harry!" Hermione said to her best friend.  
>"No problem!" Harry replied. He truly did think that Hermione was beautiful.<p>

**Hermione: Oh, thanks! Yeah, yeah you know I used to think looks weren't important and now I think they're more important than anything.**

"I do NOT think that. In my opinion, intelligence, compassion and kindness is what I consider to be the most important things in life, certainly NOT looks. I just hate that a person's looks are considered more important than things such as their personality. It's not right!"  
>Once Hermione had finished her rant, there was a loud round of applause. Hermione looked around the hall to see that everyone was staring at her in admiration. Hermione felt a little burst of joy when she noticed that people agreed with her, and she thought it rather strange that for once in her life, she felt <em>accepted<em>. And it felt good.

**It's just that I'm having so much fun dancing with everyone…**  
><strong>Ron: Wow Hermione, when did you become so shallow? When?<br>Hermione: What is wrong with you Ron?**

"What isn't wrong with Ron?!" Fred and George asked. Ron just glared at them and flipped the middle finger at them. Unfortunately for him, his mother saw this, which earned him a particularly painful sounding smack on the head.

**Ron: Nothing, nothing's wrong with me but why don't you just go ask Shlongbottom to dance huh? Go do it.**

"No, I'm a really bad dancer. Don't." said Shlongbottom sadly.

**Hermione: You know what, maybe I will.**  
><strong>Ron: I showed her, showed her good.<strong>

"Of course you did," Harry said sarcastically. Ron glared at his best friend for this.

**Harry: Wait a second, wait a hot second! I know what's going on here.** **You've got a crush! Alright, Ron, listen to me pal, just a little advice: call me crazy but girls don't really like it when you're angry at them, much less if you shout at them. **

"Really?! I _never _would have guessed that!" Hermione and Ginny stated sarcastically.  
>"You see, Draco? That's where you've being going wrong! You've been shouting at me!" Pansy said to Draco. He gave her a weird look. "But I, I love you anyway, I swear!"<br>Pansy didn't seem to understand that Draco didn't care about what she had to say, because she was so blinded by her obsessive 'love' for him.  
>"Pansy, I have told you a thousand times already, and I'm not even exaggerating, that I don't fucking like you at all. In fact, you're just a selfish bitch who should realise that no one gives a shit about you. Just piss off already!"<br>That came from Draco Malfoy, who sworn more in the last hour than many people had ever sworn in their entire life.

**Now, maybe what you should do is go over there and tell her how much you care about her. Okay, maybe you should ask her dance?**

"Yeah, ickle Ronniekins can't be a coward his whole life," the twins chorused.  
>Ron simply glared at them for this.<p>

**Ron: No because then she'd know that I like her and you always know that you don't tell a girl you like her because it makes you look like an idiot.**

"Well, you're an idiot anyway, so it wouldn't make much difference."  
>Ginny said this to her elder brother with an innocent look on her face. Ron scowled at her and turned to face his mother.<br>"Mum, why can't you tell her off? When I do something wrong, you yell at me, but if it's anyone else, you ignore it."  
>Molly smiled at her youngest son and replied, "Well, she's right."<br>"MUM!"

**Harry: I know you'll look like an idiot, any time you tell a girl that you like her you look funny it's inevitable,**

"What are you trying to say? That I always look funny?!" Ron asked his friend.  
>"Yes, that is exactly what I am trying to say."<p>

**Harry: but listen, it's something you have to do. You have to look forward and not look back. I mean we look like idiots anyway we're wizards. We're wearing robes, if we dressed like this in the Muggle world, we would get our asses kicked. **

"Truer words have never been spoken," said Hermione. Arthur Weasley nodded furiously to her statement.

**Harry: You have nothing to lose, just ask her and I bet, you know, she probably wants to dance with you just as much as you wanna dance with her.**

"Yes, she does," Hermione whispered to Ron as she lent closer towards him.

**Harry: You just gotta…You just gotta give it a-a chance. There could be something you've never seen before you know, you just gotta go and find something special that was there the whole time and you just got the guts to see anything.**  
><strong>Ron: Where're you going? I'm still mad and sad.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Hold on. HP is going to take his own advice.<strong>

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked.  
><strong><br>*Harry walks over to Ginny***

"Oh, that. Okay then," Ginny said, answering her own question.****

**Harry: Hey Ginny.**  
><strong>Ginny: Oh, hey Harry.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Can I sit down?<strong>  
><strong>Ginny: Um yeah sure.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: So, um, how's Hogwarts?<strong>

"Oh, my first year was great. I'm not too sure what my favourite part was though: writing on walls with blood while being possessed, or being kidnapped and held underneath the school," Ginny said loudly, and you could just hear the sarcasm dripping from her every word.  
>The Weasley family minus Ginny visibly flinched at their reminder of the girl's horrible first year and they, with the exception of Percy, moved closer to their youngest family member. Percy settled for just having an expression of sadness on his face. After all, he wasn't exactly accepted by his family.<p>

**Ginny: You know, it's okay. I, actually I was really excited to come here but I just don't think I belong.**  
><strong>Harry: Oh I know what you mean.<strong>  
><strong>Ginny: Um no, you don't. You're Harry Potter.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Yeah, I know. For like eleven years I was this dumb kid who got the crapped kicked out of me and lived under the staircase, <strong>

Harry shied away from the looks of sympathy he got from the people present in the hall.  
>"Who kicked you? Dudley?" Hermione asked.<br>"Well, mostly Dudley."  
>"What do you mean, 'mostly Dudley'? Did Vernon or Petunia ever kick you or hurt you in any way?"<br>"Of course they did. I'm used to it, honestly."  
>"You shouldn't have to be used to it! That's abuse and it is not right!" Hermione said angrily, raising her voice. Her tone softened when she saw Harry's look of disbelief that someone would actually give a damn if he was abused or not, and she pulled him into a hug, while Ron awkwardly patted Harry's back.<p>

"Why did you let this happen, Albus?" Minerva questioned, wearing a stern expression.  
>"It was the only option to keep him safe," he replied, adopting a blank expression, the ever present twinkle in his eye fading away.<p>

**Harry: and all of the sudden it's like 'You're a wizard! You have all this power' and everyone thinks I'm cool all of the sudden and it's weird it's kind of isolating…sorry. Here I am complaining about being famous. I'm sorry.**

"We're used to that!" Ron and Hermione said.

**Ginny: No, I understand. It's like when you first got here and nobody wanted to get to know you because they thought that they knew you already but eventually you'll find people who'll want to get to know you for the real you.**

"I've already found them," Harry said, glancing at his two best friends, who smiled at him.

**Harry: You know Ginny, I already feel like I have found someone and I've taken them for granted. Tell you what, come on. Wanna dance? It's the whole point of the evening.**  
><strong>Ginny: Okay.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I gotta warn you though, I've learned all my best moves from Hagrid so I'm not that great.<strong>

"Yeah, I'm not a good dancer. Sorry Harry," Hagrid said, going red a bit.  
>"We could've guessed that," Malfoy stated, smirking.<br>"Shut up Malfoy," said Astoria, throwing a Silencio at him, which missed and hit Pansy.  
>"Good aim," he said approvingly to Astoria.<br>"Thanks," she replied, blushing a little.

**Ginny: Oh, I'm sure you're fine. Wow, Harry Potter, I don't care what anybody says, you're the best dancer there ever was.**

"I thought we'd all agreed that I'm terrible at dancing!"

**Harry: I have a confession to make Ginny. These shoes right here, there magical enchanted dancing shoes.**

"Do they even exist?" Harry asked.  
>"Yeah, they were half price at Gladrags Wizardwear last week," Ginny replied.<br>'Bet she still couldn't afford them,' Draco thought.

**Ginny: Wow-e Harry Potter!**  
><strong>Harry: Ginny, I'm just messing with you. I'm just awesome at dancing.<strong>

"Lies."

**Ron: Wah! When you dance with Neville is when you really cross the line. Okay, take this beat it, get out of here.**  
><strong>Hermione: What is your-<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Come here COME HERE!<strong>  
><strong>Hermione: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Why are you being so mean to me?<strong>  
><strong>Ron: <strong>_**I'm not being mean to you.**_

"Well actually, yes you are." Hermione said this while glaring at Ron.

**Hermione: Ow! Yes you are! You know, every day everyone is always trying to put me down and the one day I feel like I actually feel like a person you're trying to ruin it!**  
><strong>Ron: Holy shit…<strong>  
><strong>Hermione: What's wrong with you Ron?<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Hey Weasley! *Draco rolls towards them* The lady said no.<strong>

**Hermione: Not you too. You know what? I'm so sick of both of you, .! (slaps them both)**

"Ouch!" Ron and Draco shouted together. They stared at each other in shock for a second, then turned away from each other. Hermione glared at both Ron and Draco.

**Draco: What did you say to her?**  
><strong>Ron: Nothing!<strong>  
><strong>Draco: I'm bleeding.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: I'm bleeding. Look at this.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Look at this…<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Look at this. *both show each other the blood*<strong>

"Could you two possibly get even more stupid? Wait, don't answer that," said Hermione.

**Harry: Ginny, Ginny I'm feeling kind of dizzy.**

"I'm not surprised. With all the spinning your doing, it's a wonder you haven't fallen over yet," Luna stated.

**Ginny: Well maybe we should stop spinning. It's from all this spinning huh?**  
><strong>Harry: We have stopped spinning. *kisses Ginny*<strong>

"WOOO! FINALLY!" Charlie Weasley shouted and Bill groaned loudly.  
>When they received weird looks from the other Weasley's, Charlie said, "What? I bet that they would kiss at some point. Bill, where's my money?"<br>Bill groaned again and reluctantly handed his brother a shiny golden Galleon.

**Harry: Wait, no! No, I can't do this. You're Ginny Weasley, you're my best friend's little sister. You're Ron Weasley's sister, I'm sorry Ginny. I can't do this. I'm sorry.**

"Well, that's rude," Ginny said, but she had a hint of a smile on her face.

**Harry: Hey Cho, hey! Come on, dance with me I'm Harry Potter, let's go.**  
><strong>Cedric: Excuse me, I believe I was dancing with the lady.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I know I'm -I'm cutting in.<strong>  
><strong>Cedric: Well, I find that to be very rude.<strong>

"Well, I also FIND that to be very rude," Ron said. Hermione rolled her eyes at him.  
>"Too much?" he asked. Hermione nodded in reply.<p>

**Harry: Alright Cedric, well why don't we find out what the lady has to say about it?**  
><strong>Cho: Oh, boys there's no need to fight over little ol' me. But by the way, Cedric thinks you cheated on the dragon's task.<strong>

"IT TRIED TO KILL ME! HOW IS THAT CHEATING?!" Harry shouted.

**Harry: Cheated? Are you kidding me, that thing was trying to eat me. I was in its mouth!**  
><strong>Cedric: Exactly, what went on in there? I'd like to find out.<strong>

"Not much. It just told me its life story," Harry said.

**Harry: Alright, that is it Diggory, we are going to duel it. Let's go.**  
><strong>Cho: Oh Godric's Hollow, all this excitement is making me thirsty.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Well, oh Cho, I can get you something to drink. I can get you some punch!<strong>

"I thought no one liked the punch because of the Squirt." Luna said.  
>"Well, I was probably very thirsty. Desperate times call for desperate measures, you know," Cho replied.<p>

**Cedric: No, I'll get the punch.**  
><strong>Harry: No, I'll get the punch.<strong>  
><strong>Cedric: Fine, have the punch. *Cedric punches Harry* I did it!<strong>

"OWWW! I thought Hufflepuffs were supposed to be nice, not go around beating people up!" Harry said.

**Cho: You did it!**  
><strong>Harry: Cedric Diggory, I'm going to kill you! *Harry &amp; Cedric grab the special ladle and they are transported to a graveyard*<strong>

"Awww crap, he's gonna die." Harry said grimly. And that summed up what pretty much everyone in the room was thinking.

**A/N: So 7 pages later, here we are! My question for you concerns my updating. I am planning to write a chapter before I go on holiday on Friday 9****th**** August, and if I do that, would you want me to post the chapter before I go or after I get back? When I get back, I'm probably gonna be preoccupied with school starting again, so it's likely there won't be another update until the middle of September. So what do you think? Tell me in reviews or DM's please, and as always, hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**Listening to Zenith by After Forever**

**A/N 2: Very off topic, but have any of you seen the Catching Fire trailers? Holy marshmallow, I nearly screamed at the screen when I saw Finnick with the sugar cubes. And Josh Hutcherson just becomes more and more attractive… and Jennifer is still absolutely gorgeous! Oh God, I love them both SO MUCH! **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:****Hello again! Thank you all very much for your reviews and as you wanted me to upload before I go on holiday, here is another chapter! As soon as I've written and posted this chapter, I will be writing another chapter which I'm going to put up on Tuesday or Wednesday so look out for that! Again, thank you and don't forget to review!**

**Listening to Misery Loves Company by Emilie Autumn**

**Cedric: Where are we?**

"We're in the graveyard and Voldemort will be here soon." Harry said this with no emotion evident in his face.  
>"You can leave for this scene if you want to," Dumbledore said sadly.<br>"No. He can't leave. Everyone has to watch this play, and I don't care what scene it is. I don't care if he gets upset. It's his own fault for being a liar. Voldemort is NOT back."  
>As soon as the toad said this, she received glares and angry looks from the students. Hermione decided that she would take this into her own hands.<br>"You absolute bitch," she hissed. "You have no right to make him watch this, and Harry has every right to leave if he wants to. Harry is not a liar- Voldemort IS back, and if you and your precious Fudge stopped being so ignorant and just opened your eyes, you would realise that!"  
>"How <em>dare<em> you speak to me like that, you filthy mudblood."  
>"And how dare <em>you <em>use that racist language to anyone. We're all witches and wizards here," Filch groaned at this, "and therefore, blood status is completely irrelevant and your comments are unacceptable. Do you understand that?" Dumbledore said, raising his voice slightly.  
>Umbridge muttered something incomprehensible.<br>"What did you say?" Dumbledore asked.  
>"I said I'm sorry. It was unfair of me to be racist."<br>"Good, you had better be sorry, and don't you dare forget it."

Harry had waited for all of the drama to die down before he said, "Can we just carry on watching it?"  
>Dumbledore nodded, and Umbridge pressed play again.<p>

**Harry: I don't know Cedric, someone punched me in the face and my sense of direction got a little goofed up.**  
><strong>Cedric: Well, it seems clear to me now that the punch ladle was a Portkey and now thanks to you we've both been transported to some mystery location.<strong>

"We're in the graveyard. Did we not just have a massive argument related to that fact?" Harry said.

**Harry: Brilliant Cedric, you're a Hufflepuff. Why don't you find a way out of this place okay?**

"Okay, what the hell is up with this 'finding' thing? Us Hufflepuffs are no better at finding than any other House. We're the worst House at finding, in fact," said Ernie Macmillan, remembering the Annual Hogwarts Hide And Seek Championship in which Hufflepuff had placed last every year since it had started.

**Cedric: Harry I think I found something. It appears to be a headstone. We must be in some sort of graveyard. Tom Riddle, Mary Riddle, Thomas Riddle, Riddle me this, eh Potter?**

"That's a hell of a lot of Riddles," Fred remarked. His twin nodded in agreement.  
>"Who are the Riddles?" Hannah Abbot asked.<br>"Don't worry," Harry said. "They're not a very nice family.

**Harry: Cedric, I don't know about this place. I think we gotta get out of here.**

"Wow. I said something smart for a change."

**Cedric: Harry, you're a Gryffindor, where's your sense of adventure?**

"It ran away when it found out what is going to happen now."

**Harry: God! Cedric, you're so annoying okay! You're like this guy that's just around all the time when I don't need a guy around. You're the spare guy all the time. You're a spare dude. You're such a spare.**

"Is that really necessary? I mean, seriously? Why did they have that in the script?!" Harry asked

**Voldemort: Kill the spare!"**  
><strong>Quirrell: Avada Kedavra!<br>*Harry jumps out of the way and the spell hits Cedric.***

"That is NOT how it happened! Quirrell wasn't the one that killed Cedric; Wormtail was. And I didn't jump out of the way. I didn't know what was going on until he died!" Harry looked as if he couldn't decide whether to be angry or sad, and settled for a mixture, resulting in a very weird looking facial expression.

**Cedric: So many regrets, I'm dead!  
>*Cedric dies.*<br>Harry: Oh my wizard god!  
>Quirrell: Not so fast, Petrificus Totalus!<br>Harry: Professor Quirrell, you just killed Cedric!**

"IT WASN'T QUIRRELL; IT WAS WORMTAIL!"

**Quirrell: Not I Potter, but perhaps you'd like to see who did. He's dying to see you.**  
><strong>Harry: AH! (tries to grab scar but is unable to because he's frozen)<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, it's good to see you again.<strong>

"I'm afraid I can't say the same to you."

**Death Eater: The cauldron is ready my Lord.**  
><strong>Harry: Cauldron, what are you guys going to do, eat me? Gross!<strong>

"Harry doesn't taste very nice," said Ginny. She then realised what that must have sounded like to everyone else.  
>"I disagree with that," Romilda Vane said, smirking at Ginny.<br>Ginny said, "And how would YOU know what he tastes like?"  
>At the same time as Harry said, "That's gross. I'm not letting you anywhere near me."<p>

**Voldemort: As delicious a dish as I think you'd make Potter, I'd need a stomach of my own to digest you. I haven't got one of those, yet.**

"Ewww, Mouldy Voldy wants to eat you!" the Weasley twins said to Harry.  
>"I probably would've preferred that actually, if I'm honest," Harry replied.<p>

**Death Eater: ***cuts off hand* Aaah! Oooh! Ahahahaa. Hoo, okay. **Detention Potter!**

"Wormtail cut off his hand." Harry said blankly. "And why do _I _need a detention. He cut his hand off, not me!"  
>"That Death Eater is clearly Snape," Ron said. Snape glared at him.<p>

**Harry: Detention? This guy's almost as big an asshole as Snape.**

"Almost."

**Quirrell: It worked!**  
><strong>Voldemort tries to regain footing and get used to his body: Haha!<br>*Starts singing.* When I was a boy, an orphan boy, **

"He was an orphan? Voldemort was an orphan?" Draco asked this, looking very confused. The rest of the Slytherins adopted the same expression.  
>"Yes, he was. No more questions on the matter, please." Albus replied.<p>

**I'd loved to move my feet. I'd hear a tune and start to swoon. My life would seem complete.**

"Wait, he dances?" Ron.  
>"Everyone dances." Hermione said.<br>"I would've thought that the universe would explode or something if he dances. I bet he's not very good at it." George said.

**The other boys would laugh and jeer; but I'd catch 'em tapping their toes and when I'd start to sway, they'd get carried away…and oh how the feeling grows. I'd take my foot, my little foot, and with that foot oh how I'd start to shake. I'd take two feet, two tiny feet. Hey look, that's neat! It's coming true! Oh boy I get to dance again wahoo!**

The students seemed to be lost for words as they watched 'Voldemort' dance.  
>'Next time I see him, I'm totally challenging him to a dance off!' Harry thought.<p>

**To dance again, I've been waiting all these years to dance again and now at once a chance appears, to hear the beat so on your feet. It's time to dance again, come on Potter! Imperio!** **You take your foot, your little foot. Hey look, your foot! See how it starts to shake.**  
><strong>Quirrell: Oh, try his arms! How 'bout a twirl? He's like a girl! <strong>

"I am NOT like a girl," Harry shouted defensively.  
>"You did <em>look <em>like a girl last year, with that ridiculous hair. You needed a haircut," Hermione said.  
>"Everyone had ridiculous hair. It was like the year nobody got a haircut." Harry replied.<p>

**Quirrell tosses Harry to the side: How overdue…I get to finally dance again with you.  
><strong> 

"The fact that they like to dance with each other is very disturbing." Hermione said.

**Quirrell and Voldemort: To dance again, I've been waiting all these years to dance again and now at once a chance appears. Its lovely swaying, the music's playing. Come on let's dance again!**  
><strong>Voldemort: Everybody!<br>**

"This is so funny!" Ginny and Luna said, laughing. Luna looked as though she still hadn't quite recovered from her earlier laughing fit, and they soon both collapsed into a fit of giggles.

**Death Eaters: I take my foot.  
>Voldemort: You take your foot.<br>Death Eaters: My little foot.  
>Voldemort: Take that little foot.<br>Death Eaters: And oh my foot.  
>Voldemort: Let me hear it now!<br>Death Eaters: Look how it starts to shake…oh Voldy's back!**

"You see?" Harry said to Umbridge. "They can accept it!"

**Voldemort: Hello World!  
>Death Eaters: For the attack.<br>Voldemort: I'm gonna get'cha.  
>Death Eaters: He'll take over the world it's true, but first there's something he's gotta do!<strong>

'Not on my watch,' Dumbledore thought.

**Death Eaters, Quirrell and Voldemort: I'll dance again… I've been waiting all these years to dance again and now at once a chance appears. Everybody make way  
>Voldemort: For a pas de bourrée.<br>Death Eaters, Quirrell and Voldemort: It's time to dance, it's time to dance, it's time to dance again!**  
><strong>Voldemort: Woo!<strong>

"He is a horrible dancer," said Astoria.  
>"Yeah, he's not dancing with me." Hermione agreed.<br>"R.I.P. Cedric," said Harry, raising his glass.  
>"R.I.P. Cedric," everyone chorused, raising their glasses as a toast to the dead boys.<p>

**A/N: And that is where I leave you? Thank you so much for reading, and there will be a chapter on Tuesday or Wednesday, so look out for that. And if you know where all the character's repeated references to dancing came from, you earn several cookies and a hug. Leave your guesses in the reviews! Yeah, please review and if you have any questions, leave them either in a PM or a review and I will do my best to answer them for you.**

**Listening to We Will Rise by Arch Enemy.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hello again! I have two days before I go on holiday, so here's another chapter for you lot! Fun fact about me- I watched The Hobbit today and loved it and I'm currently getting through BBC Sherlock. I have one episode of Season 1 to watch, and then I will start watching season 2. Anyone here like Sherlock or the Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit? Review or DM me with your answers! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**Listening to Sancta Terra (live with Floor Jansen) by Epica**

**Bellatrix: Oh my Dark Lord! You look fabulous.**

"EWWW! That's disgusting!" Draco shouted. "My fricking aunt fancies him!"  
>"You know what?" asked Hermione.<br>"What?" Harry and Ron asked.  
>"Bellatrix kind of reminds me of a black Helena Bonham Carter."<br>"Who's that?" Ginny asked.  
>"A Muggle actress. She's been in a film I really like called 'A Room With A View'. She was in it with someone who looks a bit like Professor McGonagall. It's a great film." Hermione said.<p>

**Voldemort: Bellatrix Lestrange!**  
><strong>Bellatrix: Oh my liege, how it's going to be like the old days when we do nothing but torture, murder and make love.<strong>

"That's too much information. I don't think anyone really needed to hear that," Molly said disapprovingly.  
>"I should write a story about them. You know, just to creep Malfoy out," Ron said quietly.<br>"I agree," Hermione said, whispering. "You could upload it to a Muggle website called fan fiction .net. I think it'll be welcome there."

**Voldemort: Ha, the old days are back baby!**  
><strong>Bellatrix: I can't tell you what it was like without you.<strong>

"Ummm, how about quiet, nice and peaceful?" Arthur Weasley suggested.

**Voldemort: Well, I'm never going again because I've conquered death and my first pleasure will to be to kill Harry Potter! The next, to take over the Ministry of Magic and rule the world for all eternity!**

"Well, that's rude! If you kill me I'll, I'll, um," Harry said, trailing off as he thought about what would happen.  
>"Die?" Hermione suggested.<br>"Well, I was thinking more along of the lines of, 'I'll kill you too', but I can see how that would fail."

**Bellatrix: And you will my Lord, but not yet. For now we must stick to the plan. We blame Potter's murder on Quirrell so that your return may remain a secret. The Death Eaters are prepared to take on the entire Ministry of Magic, much less Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix.**

"Wait, they're betraying Quirrell?" Cho Chang asked.  
>"That's a shame," said Ron. Hermione gave him a weird look.<br>"What?" he said, defending himself. "I kind of ship them."

**Quirrell: I'm sorry. What was that about me going to Azkaban for Potter's murder?**  
><strong>Bellatrix: Oh ho, you shall refer to him as my Lord, my liege, or my Dark Lord!<strong>

"Quirrell doesn't need to. Isn't that what their whole conversation was about?"

**Voldemort: No-no-no-no Bellatrix, it's cool. Quirrell's cool, over the last year he's proven himself to be a very good fr…** **A very good servant to the will of the Dark Lord.**

"Wait, they're not friends anymore? Poor Quirrell." Ron said sadly.  
>"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed.<br>"What?!" he replied.  
>"You seem very interested in Voldemort's relationship. Why is that?" she asked.<br>"It's for the fanfiction. It's always for the fanfiction."

**Quirrell: Oh I see so you're just going to make me your Sally Hemmings is that it?**  
><strong>Voldemort: No, no Quirrell that, that came out wrong. It's not like that.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Isn't it?<strong>  
><strong>Bellatrix: Ah, silence slave, Crucio! –laughs-<strong>

"Hey, Malfoy. Do you know that your aunt's a complete bitch?" Fred asked.  
>"Yeah, funnily enough, I do."<p>

**Voldemort: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.**  
><strong>Bellatrix: What is the matter? He is your pawn! You are his Queen.<strong> **It is an honour to serve the Dark Lord, no matter what the task!**

The students laughed at the idea of the all powerful Dark Lord being referred to as a queen.

**Voldemort: Are you alright?**  
><strong>Quirrell: Did you really know the whole time that you would blame Potter's murder on me?<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Yes, yes I knew but things have changed over the last year. I feel differently now,<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: Don't touch me!<strong>

"No." Ron whispered in disbelief. "This ruins all of my fanfiction plans."

**Voldemort: Way to explain this, it's like the movie **_**She's All That.**_** You remember we watched that together. Well, remember how at the end Freddy Prince Jr. turns out to be good.**

"There is no movie called that. It doesn't exist!" Hermione exclaimed.  
>"And you just happen to know <em>every <em>film that exists, do you?" Draco said sarcastically.  
>"Yes. And I've watched them all."<br>"What, _every _film? Even the ones that, you know, may be ummm a little bit _adult _for you?"  
>"I have absolutely no idea what you mean," Hermione said, her blush clearly showing a different story.<p>

**Quirrell: No, I didn't see the ending because you were watching it while you were on the back of my head, SUCKING MY SOUL!**

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A LOUSY,STINKING DEATH EATER." Professor Sprout shouted.

**Voldemort: Well I wish there was another way but I've got to take over the world.**  
><strong>Quirrell: Well there it is! I'll let you know now that it's gonna be pretty hard to make that rollerblading date from Azkaban.<strong>

"Voldemort can go as well, and the Dementors can join in with their rollerblading." Harry said bitterly.

**Bellatrix: Death Eaters, take him away.** **And now you have what you waited for for so long.**  
><strong>Voldemort: What?<strong>  
><strong>Bellatrix: Your chance to kill Harry Potter.<strong>

"Does she really have to remind him?" Harry asked.  
>"Yes. I personally think it improves the play." Umbridge said this with a stupid smile on her face.<p>

**Voldemort: Yes, kill POTTER, ha whoa where'd he go?**

"He's not very good at this, is he?" said Ginny.

**Harry: You're not killing me today Voldemort but I'll tell you what, I can get you some punch! *Harry travels back to Hogwarts with Cedric's body.***  
><strong>Ginny: Oh my Rowling, what happened Harry Potter?<strong>

"Who or what is 'Rowling'?!" Ron asked.  
>"An Squib author. She wrote 'Wizards' Book'. Did you not know that? Apparently she's quite a good author." Hermione answered.<p>

**Dumbledore: Harry, Harry what the hell you doing over here? You missed that raffle.**  
><strong>Snape: What happened in that graveyard? Uh!<strong>

Hermione stared at Snape. "You knew what was happening?!"  
>"Hermione, shut up. If you two argue, it'll ruin my fanfiction about you. How's 'Snermione' for a ship name?"<p>

**Harry: It's Voldemort! It's Voldemort, he's back!**

"Well, I guess, with the evidence, I must accept that you were right, Mr. Potter. It seems that Voldemort is back." Professor Umbridge said this with a somewhat disappointed look on her face.  
>"Well, I bet you're all hungry. Now is the time to feast," said Dumbledore, and with his words, food arose from the tables and everyone began to eat.<p>

**A/N: Hope you liked this chapter! Finally, the end of Act 1. A few notes-**

'**A Room With A View' is a real film which was made in 1985 and so would have been released when the series was set. It stars Helena Bonham Carter and Maggie Smith, hence Hermione talking about the resemblances. **

**Hermione's facts about in J.K. Rowling is exactly what is explained by Jo herself.**

**The website Hermione is supposed to be talking about if the website on which this story is posted and on which you are reading it. But apparently, I'm not allowed to type the name properly as it deletes it when it saves. So I've just typed it with a few spaces and you can guess what it is.**

**Listening to Lithium by Evanescence**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello again! I'm so sorry I haven't updated for a while- I've been really busy with school. It's my last year in school so I have my exams in May, (fun). I was asked in the reviews if I would be writing for the other plays, to which the answer is yes, I am planning to write for them! Thank you so much for all of your reviews, favourites and follows. They honestly mean a lot to me.**

**Listening to Accio Deathly Hallows by Hank Green**

Once the food had disappeared, (which didn't take too long in Ron's case, and left him wondering if there was time to get more food from the kitchens), the students sat in anticipation, waiting to watch Act 2 of the play. When at last Albus Dumbledore downed his goblet of butterbeer, Dolores Umbridge pressed play on the laptop.

**Person 1: Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Beat-Voldemort now says he's back!**

"Why must I always be called The-Boy-Who? Can't people think of a more inventive name?!" Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Was-Sitting-At-The-Gryffindor-Table-With-H is-Friends-Ron-And-Hermione, asked. "It's really not necessary."

"I have no idea mate. I really don't," replied Ron Weasley, Best-Friend-To-The- Boy-Who-Was-Sitting-At-The-Gryffindor-Table-With-H is-Friends-Ron-And-Hermione.  
>"Do you have any idea why, Hermione?" Harry asked.<p>

"No, sorry," replied Hermione Granger, the Girl-Who-Was-Best-Friends-With-The-Boy-Who-Lived-A nd-Only-Had-A-Completely-Platonic-Relationship-Wit h-Him-Despite-What-Harmony-Shippers-All-Over-The-W orld-Think.

**Person 2: Prophet! Get Your Daily Prophet! Harry Potter vs. Voldemort: Round 2!**

"Why did there have to be round 1?" said Harry Potter questioned.

**Person 3: Minister Of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, Makes a Statement!**  
><strong>Minister: I've heard these Voldemort rumours and I for one simply don't believe it.<strong>

"As ignorant in the play as in real life then," Bill Weasley said. Frog-face glared at him.

**Person 1: Voldemort Talks About It on His New Floo-Tube Channel.**  
><strong>Voldemort: I'm gonna find Harry Potter and I'm gonna **** in his mouth!<strong>

"That's horrible. I hope he doesn't," Harry said, looking disgusted.

**Person 1: Also Does a Review of **_**17 Again**_**.**  
><strong>Voldemort: Ah, it was a little slow at the beginning but it's Zac Efron. It's Zefron! Enough said. <strong>

"Who's Zac Efron and who's Zefron?"  
>"No idea," Hermione said.<p>

**Minister: I have seen these so-called posts and I still don't believe it. This is a ruse! You all have been hoodwinked!**

"Yep, he's definitely like the real Fudge." Bill said.

**Person 4: Professor Quirrell Confesses to Murder of Hogwarts Student Cedric Diggory, Receives Life in Azkaban.**

"Except it _wasn't _Quirrell!" Harry protested.  
>"We know that! But they don't!" Ron said.<br>**  
>Harry: Ron, this totally sucks man.<br>Ron: This is horrible.  
>Harry: Yeah I know, I mean look at this. It's terrible, "Harry Potter vs. Voldemort: The Fight of the Century."<br>Ron: No, not that, it's Hermione. It's just like, I can't get her out of my head and every time I look at her I have these pains in my chest and I just know it's her fault, that bitch.** **I'm just not cut out for this Harry, I'm not.**

"Hey! I'm not a bitch!" Hermione said defensively.  
>"<em>I <em>didn't say you were."

**Harry: Yeah man, I know what you mean. It's like when you're trying to save the world and the whole world is just against you and…**  
><strong>Ron: No-no-no-no-no, this isn't about you.<strong> **Why does every conversation we have, have to turn into Potter Talk?**

"Wait, I thought we were friends. Why are you being so mean to Hermione and me?" Harry asked.  
>"I think my character is just upset that the Hermione character won't get out of his thoughts." replied Ron.<p>

**Harry: It isn't Potter Talk…**  
><strong>Ron: No, I'm miserable and all you can do is talk about yourself. <strong>

"I say one sentence and it's suddenly all about me. Alright then," Harry said, slightly confused.  
>"It's not me, mate. It's my character."<p>

**Ron: You're like the most self-absorbed guy I know. If you were miserable, I would be there for you but you won't even listen to me and I'm sick of it. So-so good luck with whatever you were talking about and I hope that you and Voldemort live happily ever after because me, I am never going to be happy again.**

"Wait, so I'm gonna live with Voldemort and be happy about that?! Somehow, I don't see that working out quite so well." Harry said sarcastically.  
>"Ron, you are going to be happy. It's only Hermione," said Ginny. Hermione glared at her.<br>"'Only Hermione' Thanks. Nice to know that I'm not important because I'm 'only Hermione'. Gee, thanks Ginny." Hermione stated.  
>"Hermione, I really didn't mean it like that. It's just that Ron's my brother and I don't want him being unhappy." Ginny replied.<br>"Wow," Hermione began. "That's very… mature of you, Ginny. I understand your view completely. Are we still friends?" Hermione asked the younger girl.  
>"Of course we are!" Ginny said, smiling at the older girl who she had began to admire as a role model.<p>

**Ron: ****So I'm just going to go curl up in my sock drawer and sleep for days. *Ron leaves*  
>Hermione: Were you just talking to Ron?<br>Harry: Yeah, I was trying to tell him about Voldemort…  
>Hermione: Well did he say anything about me?<br>Harry: Well, yeah he said something…  
>Hermione: Was one of them an apology for how he treated me at the Yule Ball?<br>Harry: Um yeah, I heard about that, listen I was wondering maybe you heard about a little something, I don't know, that Voldemort's Back! Cedric Diggory is dead, Professor Quirrell was crazy and now I have to save the world! Did you hear about that Hermione?**

"Pretty much sums up the entire plot so far," Romilda remarked.

**Hermione: Actually I have heard those things Harry, about a thousand times but never had they been told to me with so much sass. Drop the attitude Harry Potter, you're acting like Garfield on a Monday.**

"That's just insulting. Garfield is terrible on a Monday," Harry said, offended.

**Harry: Well don't you think I have a right to be a little stressed out?**  
><strong>Hermione: No, no I don't. You know what, this is just like with the dragon okay. I stressed out, I told you to prepare and yet you didn't do anything and you were fine. You know you just played your little guitar and I mean I don't know what you're crying about Harry. This is just like when you defeated Voldemort when you were a baby.<strong>

"Not exactly. I mean, for a start, I'm kind of not a little baby anymore."

**Harry: Hermione, come on, you're the friend that's supposed to tell me to go to the library and try to figure this stuff out.**  
><strong>Hermione: You know what Harry? I don't do that anymore.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Read it and weep Potter, heard Voldemort's back and he's trying to kill you. What do you think about that Moon-shoes?<strong>

"Since when was I called Moon-shoes? That's a terrible name!"  
>"Hey! I named you that and I think that's a great name!" the real Draco said defensively.<p>

**Harry: Malfoy, I honestly don't see why you're so happy about this. If Voldemort is back, which he is, you might as well kiss Hogwarts good bye.** **You might as well kiss the planet good bye.**  
><strong>Draco: Kiss the planet good bye? Having second thoughts about Pigfarts are you? *rubs himself against the desk*<strong>

"Doesn't Draco realize that doing that just looks stupid and ridiculous?" Charlie Weasley asked.  
>"Clearly not," his older brother answered. "Otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it, would he?"<p>

**Harry: Malfoy, you're the last person I want to talk to okay?**

"I wasn't aware I ever wanted to talk to him."

**Draco: You know what, as soon as you're out of the way, I'll be the coolest kid in school.**  
><strong>Hermione: Malfoy, that will never happen. Everybody hates you.<strong>  
><strong>Malfoy: Oh right, okay this coming from Hermione Stranger.<strong>  
><strong>Pansy: She's right Malfoy, she's cooler than you now.<strong>  
>C<strong>ho: Yeah, even Moaning Myrtle is cooler than you.<strong>

"That's just harsh, Cho." Draco said, resulting in an indignant gasp from Myrtle.

**Neville: Take this, Expelliarmus!  
>*Draco's trousers drop to reveal diaper*<strong>

"What?! I do NOT wear a diaper! My father will hear about this. Hopefully the Hippogriffs are ready."

**Draco: Ignore it, ignore it! Stop it.**  
><strong>Snape: What the devil is going on here? Draco Malfoy, pull those trousers up at once.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Professor, I was just…<strong>  
><strong>Snape: I don't want to hear it. I need to see you in my office, now.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: This is all your fault Potter. You'll pay for this, you'll all pay!<br>*Draco runs off stage with trousers around his knees***

"I hope you know how ridiculous you look," Harry said to Draco.  
>"Enjoying this are you, Potter?" Draco replied.<br>"Oh, yes I am," Harry replied, smiling. He was going to wink, but he realised how weird that would look.  
>'Save it for the bedroom, Harry" he reminded himself.<p>

**Harry: Nice Neville, you're the man. Hey Ginny, what's up? I hope you have something to say about Voldemort.**  
><strong>Ginny: No.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Whatever. No, don't bother.<strong>  
><strong>Ginny: Um, hey Harry, so we kissed at the Yule Ball and well, I thought we were gonna be together forever? But we're not.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Hey, that uh, pretty much sums it up.<strong>

"I'm glad you're not _that _rude in real life," Ginny said to Harry.

**Ginny: What's going on?**  
><strong>Harry: Ginny, this is what's going on. Don't you get it? Everyone is in danger who is dear to me. We can't be together because if Voldemort is back, which he is, then you're in mortal peril. Don't' you get it? It's just like the Spider-man movie, did you see that? MJ and Peter Parker can't be together.<strong>  
><strong>Ginny: The whole point of Spider-man 2 was that MJ and Peter Parker could be together in the end.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Yeah I know but the point of Spider-man 3 is everything sucks and it falls to shit! Ginny, what I'm trying to say is I don't want my life to be like Spider-man 3. I hated that movie. I'm sorry, it's just my little way of saying we can't be together. I'm sorry Ginny.<strong>

"Spiderman? That sounds terrible," Ron said, wincing.  
>"By the looks of it, I didn't particularly like it either," Harry said.<p>

**Ginny: I'm such an idiot. –goes off crying-**

"No you're not," said Hermione, at the same time as Fred and George said, "Yes, you are."

**Harry: I need a Butterbeer.**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Hey, psst, Potter, it's me, it's me.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Who are you?<strong>  
><strong>Dumbledore: It's Dumbledore.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Oh.<strong>  
><strong>Dumbledore: Listen, Harry, I've got some very important things I have to tell yah.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Oh, about Voldemort?<strong>  
><strong>Dumbledore: Yes, it's absolutely crucial for you to know but I can't get into it right now. You need to meet me at my inner office at ten o'clock and come by yourself. Bring that uh, Invisibility Cloak of yours. Don't go blabbing your mouth about this to anybody. I don't what the spies to hear, they could be anywhere, even inside of Hogwarts.<strong> **From now on the only persons you can trust Harry, are me and Severus Snape.**

"Getting Harry to trust Snape. That sounds likely," said Neville, sarcastically.

**Harry: Listen Dumbledore, I know you don't want to hear this but uh, I am not so sure about Snape. I think, uh I'm pretty sure he's working for Voldemort.**  
><strong>Dumbledore: What? That's stupid, you're stupid.<strong>

"Rude. I'm not stupid, am I?" Harry asked. There was no comment.

**Harry: No-no, I'm positive that night in the graveyard some Death Eater cuts off his hand and Snape shows up without a hand, what is that?**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Oh cock-a-maybe, Snape has ensured me that he lost his hand in an entirely unrelated incident.<strong>

"What, he chopped it off when he was making a romantic dinner?!" Ron said.  
>Hermione blushed a little- Ron wasn't supposed to know about that.<p>

**Harry: Dumbledore, why do you trust Snape so much?**  
><strong>Dumbledore: 'Cause I love him.<strong>

"What?! Are you gay, professor?" Cho asked.  
>"Yes, I am gay." He replied.<br>"Gay for Snape," Fred whispered.  
>"That sounds like a good fanfiction title," Ron replied.<p>

**Harry: Professor, I…**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Hey, I don't wanna hear anything else about it. These is no way that Severus Snape is, was or shall be a servant Voldemort's.<strong>

"LIES! It's all LIES!" Harry shouted.  
>"Alright Harry. No need to go all capital letters on us," Minerva said.<p>

**A/N: Thanks for reading! ****In all honesty, I don't know when I will next update, as school started and I've already been given, (and completed), three sets of homework on one day. Also, it's my exams this year, which means I may not be updating as much as I'm going to need to revise for those. Luckily, I finish school in May next year, so there will probably be more updates in the summer! Please don't forget to review, as your support honestly means so much to me.**

**Listening to Understanding (Sound Asleep EP version) by Evanescence**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm so sorry, for the lack of updates, but I've been very busy with school, and I hope I'll soon be able to update more. Hope you like the chapter though.  
>AN 2: As a few of you were asking about pairings in this story, I will explain it. The pairings in the story are canon. The pairings in the play are canon, with slight hints of other ships (i.e. Dramione in the 'Granger Danger' song). As a lot of people don't ship canon, I decided to play around with that a bit. Personally, with the exception of shipping Luna/Neville, I ship canon pairings. Hope that clears things up a bit.**

**Listening to Tangled Up In Love by The Rifles (I'm going to see this band live next month and I'm so excited!)**

**Snape: All Hail Lord Voldemort!**

"Death Eater. See!" Harry exclaimed. As usual, he was ignored by pretty much everyone.

**Death Eater 1: Severus Snape, what are you doing here?**  
><strong>Death Eater 2: Got tired of being on Dumbledore's lap?<strong>

"I really did not need that mental image." Fred groaned.  
>"You were thinking about it? It felt like I could <em>hear <em>it!" his twin said.

**Death Eater 1: I ought to Jelly-Legs Jinx you right now.**  
><strong>Snape: Don't be goofy with me, I'm here to see Voldemort.<strong>  
><strong>Death Eater 2: How do we know this isn't some Order of the Phoenix practical joke?<strong>

"What's the Order of the Phoenix?" Draco Malfoy asked.  
>The members of the Order exchanged glances, and it took a long time before anyone spoke up.<br>"It's a kind of group, I guess. A special group where we all drink tea from pink, fluffy mugs and discuss the latest in animal politics. I mean, last week we found out that the Official Cat Union went on strike because they were only given 2 litres of milk per week, instead of the usual 4 litres."  
>Charlie Weasley said this so convincingly that the Order began to think about what they <em>actually <em>did at meetings, and could find no difference.  
>Umbridge didn't seem to appreciate the less than subtle attacks on her, and glared at the second oldest Weasley child. She would've loved to give him a detention, but unfortunately, her power didn't extend to people who no longer attended Hogwarts. Yet.<p>

**Death Eater 1: I though you deserted the Death Eaters when the Dark Lord lost his body?**  
><strong>Death Eater 2: Or were you always a spy for Dumbledore?<strong>  
><strong>Death Eater 1: Slumber-snore.<strong>  
><strong>Death Eater 2: Bumble-sore.<strong>

"Would y'all ever consider changing your name to that?" asked one Cho Chang. She paused. And then thought about what she had just said. 'Y'all.'  
>'Oh ma god, I'm becoming one of them southern belles, ain't I?' she thought.<p>

**Death Eater 1: I heard you had your Dark Mark laser-surgically removed.**

"If that was possible, don't you think more Death Eaters would've done that?" Hermione asked.  
>"I don't know," Ron replied. "Let's ask Lucius Malfoy."<br>Draco heard this and sent a death glare in the direction of the Weasleys.

**Snape: Oh, well if you two know so much about me, you should write a biography, **_**Snape: The Double Agent!**_

'The question is, who's he a double agent _for_?' Minerva McGonagall.

**Snape: *shows a mark.* That's right, I've always been a servant of Voldemort's. **

"SO YOU ADMIT IT THEN!" Harry shouted.  
>"Bloody hell Harry. Calm down on the capitals. That's twice in five minutes."<p>

**Snape: I've simply been working undercover finding out valuable information such as the inner workings of Hogwarts, the roster of the Order of the Phoenix, and finding out what exactly a true Hufflepuff is anyway.**

"Well, what is a true Hufflepuff then?"  
>"My boyfriend," Cho Chang whispered.<p>

**Snape: I've seen things no Slytherin should see. So if you are done putting each other's feet in each other's mouths, I would like to see my master.**  
><strong>Death Eater 1: Of course, right away Severus.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Good, I'll be in the drawing room, painting a picture of the stupid looks on your faces.<strong>

"What faces?! They're in masks!"

**Bellatrix: Then, after sneaking into the Department of Mysteries, we'll enchant the…**  
><strong>Death Eater 1: excuse me…<strong>  
><strong>Bellatrix: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Excuse me, I was in the middle of plotting.<strong> **Where was I? The statues will occupy the guards in the Main Lobby while you and I sneak into the Minister's office, where you will be one Killing Curse away from complete control of the entire Wizarding World! **

"Clearly, shooting a killing curse is the _only _reason that Bellatrix wants to sneak into a little, cramped office with the person she fancies." Ginny Weasley sarcastically commented.  
>"Ewww, that's my <em>aunt<em>!" Malfoy said.  
>"Enjoying the mental images?"<br>"That's my _aunt_!" Draco Malfoy repeated, clearly thinking about some _other _images.

**How does that sound my Lord? My Lord? Voldemort.**  
><strong>Voldemort: Uh yeah, Gringotts, that's great. Polyjuice Potions, that's always very classy. I'm sorry what are we talking about?<strong>  
><strong>Bellatrix: Did you hear anything of my evil plan?<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Well, um, the details are a little fuzzy but uh, you did have very evil tone.<strong>

"That's her all over," Neville muttered.

**Bellatrix: He's all yours.**  
><strong>Voldemort: What? Bellatrix come back. No, it's, don't be like that! Now two people are mad at me!<strong> **What?**  
><strong>Death Eater 1: Sir, Severus Snape is at the door and importunes access to you.<strong>

"He couldn't have just said that Snape's wants to talk to him?"

**Voldemort: Severus Snape, see him in.**  
><strong>Snape: Is that a new body my Lord? You look absolutely ravishing.<strong>

"Is he flirting?"  
>"Snape flirting? Gross"<br>"Well, the actor is kinda good looking…" Ginny began, staring at the screen.

**Voldemort: Severus, for such a super-secret spy you're a terrible liar. I'm a wreck! Better have some good news.**  
><strong>Snape: My Lord, you know for years we have been trying to get Death Eaters into the castle? *hooks Voldemort's throat and the Dark Lord flinches and glares at him and he withdraws his hook*<strong>  
><strong>Snape: For years we have been trying to sneak Death eaters onto the grounds of Hogwarts, well I think I finally discovered a way how.<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Well, by all means Snape tell me.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: I can't.<strong>

"Then what was the point of telling You-Know-Who that Snape had a way?!"

**Voldemort: Can't, tease! Why not?**  
><strong>Snape: I made an Unbreakable Vow not to let any Death Eaters in.<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Great, Unbreakable Vows, I hate those.<strong>

'He's not the only one', Snape thought to himself.

**Snape: I know but I had to do it in order to convince Dumbledore of my loyalty.**  
><strong>Voldemort: Yes Snape I understand. Well if you can't help me, what do you propose we do?<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Well I can't tell you but I've brought along someone who can.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: All Hail Lord Voldemort.<strong>

"I KNEW IT! THAT BASTARD. THAT FUCKING BASTARD." The-Boy-With-Anger-Issues shouted.  
>"Harry!" Hermione scolded. "Keep it PG. There are 11 year olds who can hear you!"<br>"They've heard it all." Harry replied. Hermione could hardly disagree with that. The first words of babies were too often expletives.

**Voldemort: HAHAHAHA! Lucius Malloy's boy?**  
><strong>Draco: Malfoy…Malfoy…<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Are you serious? Help from a child, you've got to be kidding me! Don't make me laugh, I'm pissing!<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Oh, if this homemade Dark Mark won't convince you, then at least hear me out.<strong>

"You call that a Dark Mark? You couldn't handle the Dark Mark." Astoria said, loudly enough so that Malfoy could hear. Not surprisingly, he glared at her.

**Voldemort: Okay, okay, okay, how do you propose we get my Death Eaters into your little daycare centre and don't suggest the giant slide or a trampoline because we've already tried those.**

"Daycare centre? It's a flipping school!" Ron remarked.

**Draco: The vents, your Death eaters shall enter through the ventilation system of Hogwarts.**

"There aren't even vents in this school. I read it in Hogwarts: A History."

**Voldemort: Duh! The vents! Erg, how do we find these vents?**  
><strong>Draco: Oh I'll tell you how to get to the vents but first we discuss the subject of payment.<strong>

"A rocket ship to Mars?" Draco guessed.

**Voldemort: Ah, the catch, there's always a catch. There's nothing in this world as cruel and demanding as the soul of a child. What do you want Malloy?**  
><strong>Draco: I want a galaxy-traversing rocket ship with enough fuel to get me to Mars.<strong>

"I know myself so well."

**Voldemort: What do you want with a rocket ship? What business do you have on Mars?**  
><strong>Draco: Let's just say,<br>*singing*: Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here I come. Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yum!**

"Ever considered joining the choir?" Professor Flitwick asked. "I could use somebody to write the catchy songs.

**Snape: No-no-no-no-no my Lord, with all due respect my Lord there is one tiny flaw in that flawless plan. Albus Dumbledore.**

'Looks like this might be canon.' Dumbledore thought.

**Voldemort: Ah, you're right Snape. Normally I'd say let's kill him but I haven't been feeling so evil lately. *Glares at Draco patting him***

"Yep, this is definitely made up." Ginny said, once again, stating the fucking obvious.

**Voldemort: So here's how it's gonna break down Milfoy.**

"Malfoy." Draco interjected. "The name's Malfoy. Draco Malfoy."

**Voldemort: I need your guarantee that you'll lead my Death Eaters into Hogwarts. I will simultaneously be attacking the Ministry of Magic. Now I need you to promise that by the end of the siege of Hogwarts, Dumbledore will be dead-leave Harry Potter for me, but Dumbledore must die. Do we have a deal?**

"Say no, or I'll murder you, you little shit."

**Draco: We shall shake on it (spits in hand) an Unbreakable Vow.**

"I hope you're aware that I'm planning your death." Harry said.

**Voldemort: -spits in hand- By the end of tomorrow night, Albus Dumbledore will be dead?**  
><strong>Draco: Yes and I'll have my rocket ship?<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: When the technology is available.<strong>

"Judging by the technological advances of the day and age, that's not likely to happen for a while." Hermione Granger said.

**Draco: And you have to be my slave for a whole day starting now! * they release hands and the Vow is made*  
>Voldemort: No! You little shit! He got me. He got me oh that is so embarrassing. That's the second time that that's happened. It's why I hate Unbreakable Curses.<strong>

The students all laughed at this.

**Draco: Oh there are so many things I'm going to have you do for me. You're going to clean my room, and lay out my knickers, and you're going to tape **_**Wizards of Waverly Place **_**for me!**

"What the hell is _Wizards Of Waverly Place_?! That's an awful name for a TV show. It'll never catch on."

**Voldemort: Oh I hate chores!**  
><strong>Draco: I'll be busy with a murder. Sometimes…hey.<strong>

"Wait, Draco Malfoy is going to murder Dumbledore? That'll never happen. Right?" Harry asked. But to his shock, Albus Dumbledore could no longer look him in the eye.

**A/N: Oooh, dramatic. If you like this chapter, please feel free to review. Criticism is always welcome. And in case you're wondering, the reason I have one less story on this site is not that I deleted. One of the admins deleted it and I have no way of getting it back, as I had it saved on the site. I was given no warning about it being deleted, just an email saying 'Your story has been removed'. Yeah, I'm not too happy about that. If you want to read part of it, it's on my wattpad which is 97Evanescencefan. Due to the rules of this site, I can't post a direct link, so you're gonna have to search around. Sorry about that. But yeah, hope you liked the chapter and hopefully, I'll see you all soon!**

**Listening to Misery's No Crime (feat. Mark Jansen) by Revamp. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello again! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, school and college applications have kind of taken over my life right now. Hopefully I'll be updating more soon. Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favourites!**

**Listening to That's What You Get by Paramore**

**Hermione: Harry, why would Dumbledore want to meet us so late at night?**

"There's a simple answer," Harry said. "He wouldn't."

**Harry: Well, he's got some information to tell us about Voldemort. Did you bring the Invisibility Cloak?**  
><strong>Hermione: I got it right here.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Alright Harry, this better be good because I don't have a snack and I'm missing <strong>_**Wizards of Waverly Place**_** for this okay**_**.**_

"What the hell is _Wizards Of Waverly Place_?!"

**Ron: So what do we have to do that is so damn,  
>*Ron gets handed a snack by musician*<br>Oh my god thank you. I love Hogwarts.**

"Do you ever stop eating?!" Hermione asked. "We're trying to help your _best friend_. You do realise that, don't you?"

**Harry: Hogwarts is amazing.**  
><strong>Ron: You want one?<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Yeah.<strong>  
><strong>Hermione: You know what, I am leaving.<strong>

"Thanks Hermione!" Ron and Harry said.

**Harry: Oh no-no-no-no-no you're not. No you're not. When I said I needed your help I meant the both of you. So you guys got to get over these hurt feelings before someone gets hurt okay.** **So come on.**

"And why exactly would someone get hurt?" Mrs Weasley questioned, her eyes flickering between Ron, Harry and Hermione.  
>"Hermione has a good punch." Harry replied. "Ask Malfoy."<br>Draco heard this and glared over at the trio.  
>Molly raised her eyebrows, but stayed quiet, (which was very unusual for her character).<p>

**Dumbledore: Hello Harry, how are- oh god damn it! I told you to come by yourself. Why did you have to bring the fans?**

"Friends," Hermione corrected, "not fans."

**Harry: Ron and Hermione are my best friends and if this information is as important as you say it is then they have a right to know.**

"My point exactly."

**Dumbledore: Well, I've been wrong before. Get in here hotcakes. I was talking to Weasley.**

"That's disgusting."

**Ron: Thanks.**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Sorry the place is such a sty. *Zac Efron poster is visible*<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Oh my god, that is a boss Zefron poster.<strong>

"Zefron? Who is he?" Neville asked.  
>"I don't know," Ginny replied. "But he's kinda hot."<br>Harry stared at her. "Excuse me?" he asked, sounding affronted.  
>"Well, I'm not going to apologise for his effortless good looks and overall hotness."<p>

**Harry: It's awesome.**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Isn't he just the greatest? Whenever I see him, he seems like such a charismatic humanitarian.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: You think you like him? Wrong because I love him the most; Harry Potter loves Zac Efron more than anyone else in the whole world.<strong> **Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about.**

"Still no clue who he is," Hermione said.

**Hermione: Right.**  
><strong>Harry: We're here to talk about Voldemort.<strong>  
><strong>Dumbledore: It's not necessarily about Zefron, even though I love him the most, but uh about the Dark Lord. If you want to defeat this guy you're going to have to know about Horcruxes.<strong>

"What's a Horcrux?" asked Harry, Ron and Hermione.

**Harry, Ron and Hermione: What's a Horcrux?**

"Hey! That's what we just asked!"

**Dumbledore: Horcrux is one of the most terrifying pieces of magic that a wizard can create. It's actually when a wizard takes a piece of his soul and puts into something else.**

"Sounds lovely," George said sarcastically.  
>Dumbledore looked a little worried. 'The children weren't supposed to know this yet! What else is this play going to teach them?' he thought.<p>

**Ron: Why would anybody ever want to do that?**  
><strong>Dumbledore: If you have a Horcrux, you can never truly die. Your body can be dead but your spirit can live on.<strong>

"I think we all know who wanted to do that," Harry said grimly.

**Hermione: It makes sense now Harry! Everyone knows that the night your parents were killed that Voldemort was destroyed but somehow he survived. He must have had a Horcrux!**  
><strong>Dumbledore: He didn't just have one Horcrux, he had six of them!<br>Hermione: Woah.  
>Harry: Six?<strong>

"SIX?! Bloody hell, that's a lot of Horcruxes!" Ron shouted.

**Dumbledore: I already killed the first five for you so don't worry about that. But you guys have to find the last one with this.**

"You couldn't have killed the sixth one as well? You know, to make the play a bit shorter for us?" Fred sarcastically said.

**Hermione: The sword of Godric Gryffindor!**

"Somehow, I doubt that it is the genuine sword," Hermione said, while the rest of the school stared at the sword in wonder.

**Dumbledore: That's right.**  
><strong>Hermione: Godric Gryffindor was one of the four Founders of Hogwarts. If anything can destroy a Horcrux, that sword is it.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: This thing is so damn awesome. Oh my god, every wizard should have a sword, not this stupid drumstick. *Ron starts play fighting with the sword on his own.*<strong>

'Yeah, why not use Muggle weapons? I doubt that even wizards can outrun a bullet.' Hermione thought to herself.

**Harry: You know, we know what a Horcrux is but how can we find it? Where are they? Where's the last one?**  
><strong>Dumbledore: You find them with this.<strong>

"A necklace? What, bribe the Horcrux into not being a Horcrux with precious jewellery?" Bill Weasley asked sarcastically.

**Looks like G-unit bling but it's actually a Horcrux seeking medallion.  
>*Ron takes it and drops the sword*<strong>

"A Horcrux seeking medallion sounds too convenient." Harry said.

**Harry: Wait, that's a Horcrux seeking medallion? That sounds a little too convenient.**

"That's what I said!" Harry said.

**Dumbledore: You don't' have trouble with a Time Turner but you have trouble with a Horcrux seeking medallion?**

"Pretty much, yeah." Ginny said sarcastically.

**Hermione: Wait, so if he has this piece of bling, then why are Ron and I even here?**  
><strong>Ron: Yeah, Voldemort isn't any of our business.<strong>

**Dumbledore: Hermione Granger  
>*glares at Ron*<br>, when one of you got a problem then that means all three of you has got a problem. What would Zac Efron say in a time like this? (singing) We're all in this together. **

"I don't think we understand the reference yet," Charlie Weasley said.

**Dumbledore: Anyways, you just got to find the Horcrux and you've got to destroy it.** **It's the only way to beat the Dark…what is going on? This is…oh! It must be the Death Eaters. They're coming to kill me. Kids, get your beards on.**

"Beards? We weren't told about this!" Ron said, shocked.

**Hermione: We don't have any beards!**  
><strong>Dumbledore: I thought I told you to bring beards!<strong>  
><strong>Harry: No, we have the Invisibility Cloak!<strong>

"If we have the cloak, we don't exactly need the beards." Harry said.

**Dumbledore: Oh, well put that on but it's not a beard.  
>Hermione: Hurry, hurry!<strong>  
><strong>Death Eater A: Hey, are you Dumbledore?<strong>

"No. He's clearly Rumbleroar." Draco Malfoy said.

**Dumbledore: No, you see I've got this beard on.**

"Rumbleroar is clearly marked by his distinctive beard." Hermione said. "I read it in Hogwarts: A History."  
>"Wait, seriously?" Ron asked. "He's mentioned in Hogwarts: A History?"<br>"Yes. It was on page 394. That was my favourite page in the whole book." Hermione replied, somehow managing to keep a straight face.  
>Ron seemed to have accepted this, and nodded, saying, "Yeah, of course it was in the book."<p>

**Death Eater A: Well, have you seen him?**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Oh I thought I saw someone over there by that bureau but I could have just been imagining what I would look like without this beard.<strong>

"How do they even believe that?" Ginny asked.  
>"They're Death Eaters and they're stupid." Hermione replied.<br>"Death Eaters. Explains it all." Harry said.

**Death Eater A: Alright everyone, spread out and look for Dumbledore.  
>*all three Death Eaters search the office*<br>He's got to be around here somewhere.**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Be careful with the Zac Efron poster, it's an antique.<strong>  
><strong>Death Eater A: Why do you care so much about Zefron?<strong>  
><strong>Dumbledore: I don't I just appreciate his charms and hair.<strong>

"Who the hell is Zac Efron?" Ron asked. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there was no response.

**Harry: Yeah but everyone knows I like him best!**

"Harry! You just gave away our position!"  
>"Sorry!" Harry replied.<p>

**Death Eater B: What was that?**  
><strong>Death Eater C: I was I could say that it was me because I feel that I love Zefron the most but it was definitely a voice from within this room.<strong>

"Well, now they've found us. Thanks Harry," Ron and Hermione chorused.

**Death Eater B: Is it an invisible man?**  
><strong>Death Eater C: Could the predator be in the room?<strong>  
><strong>Death Eater A: Begin an invisible man search!<br>*Dumbledore glances at the trio***  
><strong>Dumbledore: Alright it's me. It's Dumbledore.<strong>

"Why would you do that?" Minerva asked Albus.  
>"Again, it's not really me."<p>

**Death Eater B: Dumbledore, where'd you come from?**  
><strong>Dumbledore: The man with the beard turned me in.<strong>

"But, I thought…" Ron began, before he was silenced by Hermione's expression.

**Death Eater B: Now we've got you just where we want you.**  
><strong>Dumbledore: Yes, but what I don't understand is how?<strong>  
><strong>Death Eater C: We had the help from a man on the inside. Someone who trusted, someone you may have even loved.<strong>

"Who?"

**Harry: Slughorn?**

"Who's that?" Harry asked.  
>"An old friend of mine." Dumbledore replied.<p>

**Hermione: Lockhart?**

"Hermione wishes it was him." Ron said. When he saw Hermione's glare, he said, "Well, she _did _have a Valentine card from him _underneath her pillow_."  
>"I was twelve!"<br>"You fancied him!"

**Dumbledore: Aberforth, my brother?**

"Aberforth? The owner of the Hogs Head pub in Hogsmeade?" Ginny asked. Dumbledore nodded.  
>Molly looked furious.<br>"And what exactly were you doing in a pub? You're 14!"  
>"Calm down mum. I wasn't drinking!"<p>

**Draco: No, it was me.  
>Harry, Ron and Hermione: Oooh.<strong>

"Who else was it going to be? Of course it was going to be Malfoy. No offence." Ron said.  
>"None taken," Draco replied, although his expression didn't match up with his words.<p>

**Dumbledore: Malfoy, you little shit.**  
><strong>Draco: That's right Dumbledore. I betrayed everyone and now I'm going to kill you.<strong>

"He wouldn't have the guts. At least, not if he's anything like his father." Arthur Weasley said.  
>Draco Malfoy scowled at the insult towards his father, but remained quiet.<p>

**Dumbledore: No you're not. Draco, if you were going to kill me you would have done so already.**  
><strong>Draco: No-no-no, not necessarily true. I just wanted to offer you one more game of Connect-Four before I offed you.<strong>

Draco smiled to himself at the mention of the Muggle game. He had played it

**Dumbledore: Draco, there are other options. You know it's time that you looked inside yourself and figure out what it is you really want.**  
><strong>Draco: I want Hermione Granger…and a rocket ship.<strong>

"Ewww," both Hermione and Draco said.  
>Ron looked smug at Hermione's response.<p>

**Dumbledore: Then why didn't you just take the girl out to a Happy Meal and go to space camp? Come on, murder leads to a life of despair and desperation. I know you're going to do that right thing, okay. That a boy!**  
><strong>Snape: What the devil is going on here?<strong>

"Oh, not much. You know, the usual. Dumbledore nearly being murdered. Perfectly normal." Fred and George chorused this sarcastically, and it was hard for the other students not to laugh.

**Dumbledore: Severus, thank you.  
>Death Eater A: Snape, we've got Dumbledore cornered.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Well, what are we waiting for? Kill him! Do it Draco.<strong>

"Don't you dare kill him, Malfoy. Don't you fucking dare." Harry looked more serious than he had ever looked through watching the play.

**Draco: I don't think I can.**  
><strong>Snape: Coward! Ten points from Gryffindor!<strong>

"But he's a Slytherin! How is that fair!"

**Dumbledore: I don't understand. I gave you my letterman jacket.**  
><strong>Snape: It never fit. *Snape curses Dumbledore.*<strong>

"That's what magic is for." Molly said. "To fix things."

**Dumbledore: Oh! Why didn't you tell me? I could have shrunk it with magic. Severus, please don't kill me!**  
><strong>Snape: Avada Kedavra!<br>*Dumbledore chokes a bit and dies… The Death Eaters cheer while the students are in shock.***

The real life students just stared at the screen. Umbridge paused the video , and the students just stared at the screen. No one really knew what to say, so there was a moment of silence for the dead-but-actually-alive Albus Dumbledore. After the moment of silence, Umbridge pressed play on the video.

**Harry: I hate Snape, I hate Snape, I hate Snape, I hate Snape. I hate him I'm gonna kill him.**

"Killing him won't fix anything, Harry." While Hermione said this, her voice was thick with tears.

**Hermione: It's not your fault Harry!**  
><strong>Harry: No, it is my fault, don't you understand? Everybody is dying because of me. First Cedric and now Dumbledore, I can't do it anymore!<strong>

Harry dropped his head into his hands in grief.  
>"Harry, mate. It's not your fault. It's really not." Ron said. Hermione nodded.<br>"There's nothing you could've done. Please don't blame yourself for this. Please," she said, her voice soft.

**Ron: Come on, let's go to the Burrow.**  
><strong>Harry: No!<strong> **Don't you get it? I have to do this by myself. I did it once when I was a baby, I can't have you guys BE near me you're too much a risk.**  
><strong>Hermione: No, we don't care about the risk!<strong>

"That's what friends are for." Ron and Hermione both said, staring at their best friend, whose head was still resting in his hands.

**Harry: No, you don't understand, you have to get away from me.**  
><strong>Ron: You can't mean that.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I do. Leave me alone! *Harry runs off.*<strong>

"Harry, we all support you here. Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, heck, even some Slytherins. You're not alone because we're here with you. Never forget that, Harry." Ron said this quite quickly, so it took Harry's brain a while to process his words. When he finally understood what his best friend had said, Harry smiled at Ron, and the Weasley patted him on the back awkwardly.  
>"Thanks Ron," Harry said, smiling at his friend. All Ron could do was smile back.<p>

**A/N: I do believe I referenced AVPM there! I'm not too good at writing emotional things, so sorry if the emotional parts are terrible. Please don't forget to review, I hoped you all enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you next time I update!**

**Listening to Lucid Dreamer by Tarja**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I just finished two weeks of mock exams and have finally applied for college, so hopefully updates will be a bit more frequent. Thank you for all of your reviews, follows and favourites. It means a lot to me! Enjoy and please review if you like the chapter! Oh and, before I forget, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**Listening to Again by Flyleaf.**

**Voldemort: Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic!**

"Hate him. Who actually likes him anyway? He's an idiot." Ron said this, while staring at a certain toad-like professor. She glared back at him.

**Minister: I still don't believe you're back.**

"Pretty much sums him up. Doesn't believe things even when they're right in front of him." Hermione said.

**Voldemort: Believe this Fudge, Avada Kedavra!**  
><strong>Minister: A heart-attack, surely…(cringes in pain again and dies)<strong>

**Bellatrix: Wohoo! Yes, the Ministry has fallen! Yes, without the Minister, you'll be the King of All Magic!** **Oh, Voldemort, take me right here, right now, right here on the Minster's desk!**

'Well, this isn't weird to watch or anything…' Draco thought. Every single person in the room looked traumatised at the sight in front of them.

**Voldemort: I'm gonna get yah! I'm gonna get yah! Come here Trixie! *chases her around the desk*** **You wanna try something new?**

"No. No, she doesn't. She really doesn't."

**Bellatrix: Oh so new!**  
><strong>Voldemort: Get on the desk. *Bellatrix lays on the desk* <strong>

"Professor Dumbledore, are you sure that this is appropriate for the children?" a concerned Molly Weasley asked.  
>"I think so." Albus said this, while thinking, 'I hope so.'<p>

**Voldemort: Now sit up, bitch. *Bellatrix sits up***

**Bellatrix: Yes, command me my Lord. *Voldemort touches her up and then sits with his back to hers***

"I don't even want to know where his hands were going." Ron said in disgust.

**Voldemort: That's nice.**  
><strong>Bellatrix: So what do we do now?<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Anything we want, hang out mostly. We can watch a movie, how about <strong>_**She's All That**_**, I haven't seen the beginning of it.**  
><strong>Bellatrix: Are you feeling okay my Lord?<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Of course I am Quirrell!<strong>

'Quirrell?! The Voldemort/Quirrell ship is still alive!' Ron thought he had said this in his head, but judging by the strange looks he was getting, he clearly had said it out loud.

**Bellatrix: Alright, that's the dozenth time you've called me that.**

"That isn't a word." Hermione said.

**Voldemort: No I uh, I called you a squirrel. I called you a squirrel.**

"Squirrels are really cute," said Lavender Brown. "I wish I had a squirrel."  
>"I have a squirrel," Parvati said. Lavender smiled at her, and the two girls began a conversation filled with squirrels.<p>

**Bellatrix: No, you're thinking of that peon that we sent to Azkaban.**  
><strong>Voldemort: He's not a peon. More of a man than you'll ever be.<strong>

"Rude." Gred and Forge chorused.

**Bellatrix: I can't do this. If I'm going to be evil with all of you, then I have to be evil with all of you.**  
><strong>Voldemort: Evil with all of me? What does that mean? I'm all right here.<strong>  
><strong>Bellatrix: No, there are pieces of you missing.<strong>

"Horcruxes," Hermione said.

**Voldemort: Are you talking about my Horcruxes? 'Cause if it weren't for those I wouldn't even be here right now!**

"And it would save us all a lot of trouble." Harry said, glaring at on screen Voldemort.

**Harry: (singing) I can't remember Dad and I can't remember Mom. Aunts and uncles aren't quite the same but I had him and life seemed fair. Yes, I had him. He was there to give me strength, show concern, ask for nothing in return. Say Hello, talk me through, do the things that fathers should do…and I'm missing you! I'm just missing you.**

"Is this about Dumbledore?" Bill asked. "Because he's not actually dead. You do realise that, don't you?"  
>"Yeah, I realise that, but he doesn't." Harry replied.<p>

**Quirrell: There it is, he's gone and he's hung me out to dry. The joy he said he felt, well, I guess it was a lie but when I had him my life was fine. When I had him, he was mine. He'd share his thoughts, be a friend, stick with until the end. Watch a movie, roller skate, fill the world with fear and hate…**

"Only he could end a beautiful verse with 'fill the world with fear and hate'." Hermione said.

**Both: And I'm missing you! I'm just missing you. Now I'm all alone, now you're gone for good. Now I'm stuck right here wishing I understood.  
>Harry: You gave me hope when my spells weren't right.<strong>  
><strong>Quirrell: You gave me someone to hold every night…and I'm missing you.<strong>

"This is so cute!" Ginny and Hermione exclaimed.

**Harry: I'm just missing you.**  
><strong>Quirrell: I'm just missing you.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I'm just missing you.<strong>  
><strong>Voldemort: Shit.<strong>

"Well done Voldy." Fred said sarcastically.

**Death Eater: My Dark Lord, news from Severus Snape, Dumbledore is dead and the Dementors have control the castle. Hogwarts is yours, my Dark Lord.**  
><strong>Voldemort: Excellent! Prepare my flying machine. Looks like I'm going back to Hogwarts.<strong>

"Flying machine? Does he mean an airplane, helicopter, what flying machine does he specifically mean?" Hermione asked. Noticing the looks she was getting, Hermione sighed, and said, "Never mind. I'll look in the library later."  
>"What a fucking surprise," Ron muttered sarcastically.<p>

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please don't forget to review if you enjoyed this chapter! I personally thought that it was one of the worst chapter I've ever wrote- I don't know why, but I was just struggling to think of things to write. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and an awesome New Year! Sorry I haven't updated for a while, school's been really busy and I haven't had much time to write. Hopefully, the next update will be a bit sooner. Thank you for all of the reviews, favourites and follows, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to review!**

**Listening to Chasing The Dragon by Epica.- '****Don't deny your fears****. ****So let them go and fade into light****, g****ive up the fight here.'**

**Ginny: Harry!**  
><strong>Harry: Ginny, what are you doing here? Get out of here.<strong>

"Wow, thanks!" Ginny said.  
>"Well, it's true. Ginny, you are only 14. You shouldn't be searching for trouble with them."<br>Ginny frowned. "I don't go looking for trouble," she said. "Trouble usually finds me."

**Ginny: No, there's no place to go, the Death Eaters are all over the castle.**

"I'm so glad that this isn't real life," Seamus said.

**Harry: I know and they're looking for me and if they find me you're going to be with…and you're going to get in trouble. Get out of here!**  
><strong>Ginny: What are you going to do?<strong>

"He's Harry freakin' Potter! He does whatever he wants." Fred and George said in unison.

**Harry: I don't know Ginny, I'm not cut out for this kind of thing.**

"Well, that's a lie." Hermione said.

**Ginny: You have to do something. I don't' know what you can do but you can to do it. You're Harry Potter…  
>Harry: NO!<br>Ginny: You're the Boy-Who-Lived!**

"Really?! I didn't know that!" Harry sarcastically stated.

**Harry: No Ginny, you don't get it! If you guys get it, I'm just a twelve year old kid.**

"You don't look twelve," Ginny remarked.

**Ginny, I'm sorry but I'm alone. It's hopeless. Alright?**

"Always the optimist," Bill said.

**Ginny: (singing) I've been alone, surrounded by darkness**

"More like surrounded by brothers," Ginny snorted.

**Ginny: and I've seen how heartless the world can be. I've seen you crying. You felt like it's hopeless.**

"Of course he thinks that. He's a pessimist, remember." Ron said.

**Ginny: I'll always do my best to make you see. 'Cause Harry you're not alone, 'cause you're here with me and nothing's ever gonna bring us down. 'Cause nothing can keep me from loving you and you know it's true.** **It don't matter what'll come to be, our love is all we need to make it through. **

"Maybe you should join the choir with Mr Potter?" Professor Flitwick suggested. "We need people to sing harmonies."  
>Ginny laughed at this, "Haha, I'm not singing. If I could sing, I'd do it all day!"<p>

**Ginny: Now I know it ain't easy,**  
><strong>Harry: No it ain't easy.<strong>  
><strong>Ginny: But it ain't hard trying.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: It's so hard trying.<br>Ginny: Every time I see you smiling and I feel you so close to me. Tell me,**

Harry and Ginny looked at each other and simply smiled. They didn't need words to understand what the other was thinking.

**Both: 'Cause baby you're not alone, 'cause you're here with me and nothing's ever gonna bring us down 'cause nothing can keep me from loving you and you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be, our love is all we need to make it through.**

Every person in the school, apart from Snape and Umbridge, had little smiles on their faces.

**Harry: Well I still have trouble, I trip and stumble trying to make sense of things some times. I look for reasons, but I don't need 'em. All I need is to look in your eyes and I realize…**

"You finally going to tell Ginny that you fancy her, or what? Bloody hell mate! You're taking your time," Ron said, rolling his eyes.

**Ron: Hey Harry.**

"Hi Ron," Harry replied.

**All Four: "Baby, you're not alone 'cause you're here with me and nothing's gonna ever take us down. 'Cause nothing can keep me from loving you and you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be, our love is all we need to make it through."**

At this point, Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione all turned to look at each other and smiled.

**Harry *speaking*: You guys, I'm so glad you came back, sorry for when I shouted, **

"No problem. It's common knowledge that our 'Chosen One' has anger issues," Fred said.

**Harry *singing*: 'cause it don't matter what'll come to be,  
>All Four: Our love is all we need…<br>Ron: To make…  
>Hermione: To make…<br>Ginny: To make…  
>Harry: To make…<br>All four: It through.**

"It's official. I'm signing you all up for the choir. That was a great four part harmony." Flitwick said. He was still desperate to get some new choir members- the first years simply sounded too squeaky to make any real contribution to the choir.

**Hermione: Okay, now that we have that four-part harmony out of the way, we gotta look for that Horcrux.**

"Thanks Hermione! You just _have_ to remind us that we have to do something worthwhile." Harry said, but he smiled at Hermione when he said it.

**Ron: Well, it could be anywhere. If I had a Horcrux, I would drop it in the bottom of the ocean or I would put it in a pyramid with King Tut and all of his jewels.** **Or I would blast it into space with a monkey who knew nothing about Horcruxes.**

"Who's King Tut?" Ginny asked Hermione.  
>"Tutankhamen. He was an Egyptian Pharaoh who died at a young age. His treasure was stolen by grave robbers, and there were many suspicious deaths, which people believe may be linked to the curse of Tutankhamen."<p>

**Hermione: Or it could be hidden somewhere around the mundane British countryside. Our search could entail months of depressing camping, breaking into Gringotts, to drinking boatloads of Polyjuice Potion.**

"I hope that doesn't happen. That sounds awful!" Ron said.

**Harry: Well, medallion says that's dumb so we're not going to do that. But it does say it's in one convenient place, get this, Hogwarts.**  
><strong>Ron: That's awesome I love Hogwarts.<strong>

"Everyone loves Hogwarts. Especially the Nargles," Luna said. The students nodded at her first sentence, then looked confused about Nargles.

**Harry: Even better, it's in Dumbledore's office.**  
><strong>Ron: That's bitchin'.<strong>

"Language, Ronald Weasley!" Mrs Weasley scolded.

**Harry: So let's go, wait a second. Wait a second, hold the phone how did you get here? Death Eaters are all over Hogwarts.**  
><strong>Ginny: Oh, I had help.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: From who?<br>Ginny: *screams*  
>*Malfoy walks out*<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Malfoy!<strong>

"Well done Weasley. State the obvious," Draco sneered.

**Ginny: No-no-no, he's really nice now.**

"Somehow, I find that hard to believe," Harry said, looking at the blonde Slytherin.  
>"I don't," said Pansy, stroking Draco's arm. Much to Draco's disgust, Astoria's mis-aimed Silencio had worn off of the pug. Draco glared at her and moved Pansy's arm, which she misinterpreted as him wanting to hold her hand.<br>"Awww, you want to hold my hand? That's so sweet!"  
>"No, I don't," Malfoy grumbled. "Trust me. I really don't."<p>

**Draco: Oh yeah, I've just wanted to say that song you guys sang was really beautiful and um, while I was backstage, I was working out my high fifth and thought maybe I could join you but you wrapped it up before I could chime in there. **

Professor Flitwick got out a piece of parchment and a quill and began writing the names of potential choir students.

**Draco: Maybe if you do a reprise I could have a little go at it. So, but as Ginny said, I'm really nice now and I just feel awful about what happened but I mean, could you argue that this was my fault?**

"Absolutely." Ron said.  
>"Of course," Harry said.<br>"Yes." Hermione said.

**Ron: Absolutely.**  
><strong>Harry: Of course.<strong>  
><strong>Hermione: Yes. Yes.<strong>

'Gryffindors are always so bloody predictable' Draco thought.

**Draco: Yeah, that would be a safe argument. But let me ask you one question: do you think I'm happy about this?**

"Yes. You're thrilled." Hermione said.

**Ron: Oh my god, Malfoy just because you're upset doesn't mean you're off the hook.**  
><strong>Harry: Yeah, furthermore do you wanna kick your own ass or should we do it for you?<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Well, I guess if you're giving me the option, I'll kick my own ass. <strong>

"Is that even possible?" Ron asked.  
>"Try it," Hermione replied.<p>

**Draco: First, I should teach you how to get into Dumbledore's office. It's ironically the same way the Death Eaters got in.**

"What a surprise." Ron said. Noticing the look on Malfoy's face, he said, "What? Are you going to tell your father what I said?"  
>Draco Malfoy looked embarrassed at this, and didn't speak.<p>

**Hermione: Okay, why don't you boys head off to Dumbledore's office, okay, and Ginny and I will take the Invisibility Cloak and we'll see if we can contact the Order of the Phoenix. We haven't really seen them the whole play.**

"Yeah, that's weird. They better turn up at some point." Molly said.

**Harry: That's a good plan, don't' touch me, let's get out of here, let's go.**  
>R<strong>on: Hey Hermione, come down stage. Um, listen uh shit, uh, alright hey, so I've been acting like a real jerk-ass lately. You know that and uh, I'm sorry. It's just seeing you dance with everyone at the Yule Ball just made me kind of jealous. I was jealous.<strong>

"Yes, you're a jerk-ass, and you were jealous? I didn't realise that jealousy was in your list of emotions." Hermione said to Ron.  
>"Yeah, I was jealous. I'm sorry that I was an idiot at the Yule Ball. Will you forgive me?" Ron asked.<br>"Of course," Hermione replied.

**Hermione: "You were jealous?"**  
><strong>Ron: That's the third time I've said I was jealous.<strong>  
><strong>Hermione: Okay, Ron we don't really have to talk about this right now.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Well, what if the Death Eaters get us? What if we don't' come back you know?<strong>

"We will come back, Ron. Please don't say that," Hermione said softly.

**Hermione: Ron, don't say that. *Ron grabs her face and kisses her***

There was an loud cheer from students and teachers alike. The two Gryffindors look overwhelmed by all of the looks and cheers that they were receiving. They didn't know what to do, so the pair just smiled at each other and hugged.

**Ron: Whoa. Oh my god  
>Hermione: Oh.<strong>

Ron and Hermione couldn't even look at the screen because they were too embarrassed.

**Ron: *smell each other's breath* oh, no wait *sprays stuff in her mouth*It's blueberry.**

"I'm not a big fan of blueberry. Sorry," Hermione said.  
>"How can you not like blueberry?!" Ron shouted.<br>"Quite easily," Hermione replied. "We don't all like every food like you do."

**Hermione: Yeah, I can taste it.  
>Ron: You settled?<br>Hermione: Y-yeah  
>Ron: *sniffs Hermione's breath again* It's ungodly. <strong>

"Wow, you really know how to ruin a moment, don't you?" Hermione asked, glaring at Ron.

**Ron: *puts gum in her mouth* Here take two. Chew it. *smells breath again* Awesome.  
>Hermione: *feels him up and they do a weird tongue kiss thing and end up on the floor* <strong>

The students and adults, (apart from Snape and Umbridge), began laughing, and Ron and Hermione looked even more embarrassed.

**Ron: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Let's go kill Voldemort!**

The laughing from the students and adults became even louder, and Hermione and Ron head desked in unison.

**A/N: I just looked at my profile on here and I realised that my account was officially two years old on January 11. I didn't even know! And we're nearly at 200 reviews! Wow! Thank you all so much. Without the support of all of you readers, I know I wouldn't have posted as many chapters as I have, so thank you all so much! Your support means a lot to me! Please don't forget to review, (can we make it to 200 reviews before the next chapter?), and I'll see you all soon!**

**Listening to Kingdom Of Heaven by Epica.- '****We are linked in every way****and we're strong as our weakest fragment****. ****Every****word****that we convey**** i****s an act with consequences'**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: This story has over 200 reviews! That's crazy!** **A special thank you to** _PreetSalvatore_** for being my 200****th**** review, and thank you to everyone else who has reviewed, favourited or put this story on alert. It really means a lot to me. Please don't forget to review if you like this chapter, and enjoy! Listening to Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran **

**Draco: Do you not see this Zefron poster?**

"Well, shit. I like him too now." Draco said. Pansy wore a lovesick expression on her face, as if she was in love with every word that the blonde said. Astoria stifled a laugh at Pansy's expression.

**Ron: Yeah, we know Malfoy.**  
><strong>Harry: We already know about it.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Malfoy, it's not that big of a deal, can we just look for some Horcruxes please? Is this thing of pencils a Horcrux?<strong>

"Why would a bunch of pencils be a Horcrux? Why would you put a piece of your soul into pencils?" Hermione asked. "I would've thought that the items that you choose to put a part of yourself into would have meaning."  
>"Maybe he had a fondness for drawing," Fred said sarcastically. "Imagine that. Our little Voldy could've been an artist."<p>

**Harry: *holding a medallion* No,  
>Draco: *with a drawer* Nope.<strong>

"A drawer? Really Malfoy?" Harry asked.

**Ron: Is this a Horcrux?**  
><strong>Harry: Nope.<strong>  
><strong>Draco: Pack of doughnuts?<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Nope.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Those are snacks, those are snacks *takes the doughnuts and puts them in his pocket*<strong>

"Really? Everyone's searching for Horcruxes, and your character is thinking about food?" Ginny said to Ron.  
>"Well, at least they got Ron's love of food right." Hermione muttered. She was still slightly annoyed by the fact that the other characters were always taking the piss out of her character. She knew that it was just a play, but even so, she couldn't help but wonder if that was what people <em>really <em>thought of her.  
><strong><br>Ron: Is this a Horcrux? *holding a sword***  
><strong>Harry: No.<strong>  
><strong>Ron: This could take forever, so many things in this room. The only thing with real value is that Zefron poster.<strong>

"Then the poster is probably the Horcrux then," Minerva McGonagall said.

**Harry: Wait a second, you don't think, no. Anything relating to Zac Efron would never be evil.**  
><strong>Ron: Not even close.<strong>

"If it is a Horcrux, then it clearly is evil." Charlie Weasley said.  
>"Really? I never would've guessed that!" Bill Weasley replied.<br>"That's where Fred and George get their sense of humour!" Ginny said.  
>"Yes, they get it from us." Bill said.<br>"We don't get any credit for it." Charlie grumbled.

**Harry: That's impossible…  
>*Voldemort shows up in the poster*<br>Harry: Ah! Ron, kill it. Kill it Ron, it's the last Horcrux! Kill it.**

"Albus, do you think that it's a real Horcrux?" Severus Snape asked.  
>"Of course not. It'd be too obvious. Besides, Voldemort only obsesses over one boy."<p>

**Draco: Don't kill it, it's Zefron.**  
><strong>Ron: I know, he's so charismatic!<strong>

"He also happens to be _a freaking Horcrux_! Damn, the musical versions of you are stupid. At least the musical version of me has _some _intelligence." Hermione said.

**Horcrux: Don't kill me, I'm not your enemy. Potter is the enemy.**

"He's the Horcrux's enemy. Not mine." Ron said.

**Ron: No, Harry's my friend.**

"Damn right he is," the real Ron said.

**Horcrux: But you have to get your head in the game, Weasley. **

"Get my head in what game? I'm confused." Ron asked.  
>"It doesn't take much to confuse you, does it?" Hermione said.<p>

**Horcrux: He will betray you, take that which you want the most.**

"No. He would never do that!" Ron exclaimed.  
>"You're right. I would never do that. That's further proof that this play is not real."<p>

**Harry: It's a lie Ron don't listen to him, he's lying!**

"See! Musical-me agrees!"

**Horcrux: I know your thoughts Ron Weasley. I know what you truly desire. *Horcrux changes from Voldemort's face to Hermione's.*  
>Horcrux: Hello Ron!<strong>

There was loud laughter as Ron turned bright red and head desked again.

**Ron: Oh my god Hermione, you've lost weight.**

"Really? That's the first thing you say to me?!" Hermione said indignantly.

**Horcrux: That's right, I'm in shape for Harry Potter.**

"Thank you for never _actually_ saying that." Harry said.

**Ron: Wait, what, Harry?**  
><strong>Horcrux: That's right, as long as Harry's around you'll always be second best; least loved. But if Harry Potter were gone then we could be together forever.<strong>

"Not true. That's definitely not true."

**Harry: Ron, it's not true Ron.  
>Ron: Yeah, Harry's my friend.<br>Horcrux: But don't you want me Ron?  
>Ron: Yes.<strong>

Ron and Hermione were both still bright red from their embarrassment at the last scene. They glanced at each other, but when they made eye contact, they turned away, embarrassed about their own feelings. Harry and Ginny noticed this, and shared a look of their own.

**Horcrux: Don't you love me Ron?  
>Ron: Yes.<br>Horcrux: Then you know what you have to do Ron.  
>Ron: Yes, I must kill Harry.<strong>

"Further proof that this isn't real. There's nothing which would make me hurt or kill my best friend." Ron said this while glaring at the screen.

**Horcrux: That's right.**  
><strong>Harry: Ron, no! It's a trick Ron. Don't listen to her. Listen, stop it, Hermione's one of my best friends. I would never do anything to hurt you or her.<strong>

"At least the play got _that _part right." Harry said.

**Horcrux: Lies Weasley, all lies.**

"The play version of me just explained that it isn't a lie!"

**Harry: Ron, it's not true, you're my best friend!**  
><strong>Horcrux: Kill him! Kill him<br>Harry: ****Come on, I'm your best friend. No, Ron please!**

"If you kill him, I'm never talking to you again." Hermione said. Ron looked a bit happier at this.  
>"And that means that I won't let you copy my homework."<br>Ron's face fell. "I won't kill him," he said, looking horrified at the prospect of having to do his own homework.

**Ron: ARGH! *stabs the poster***  
><strong>Harry: Do it again. *Ron hits the poster again*<strong>  
><strong>*Ron collapses and then opens doughnuts*<strong>

"Food saves the day!" Ron cheered. He celebrated by eating a packet of doughnuts he had kept from dinner.

**Draco: *picks up the poster* Oh a little bit of tape and it's fine.**

"As if I would care about a stupid poster," Malfoy said, and scoffed.  
>"You also wouldn't be helping them destroy the Dark Lord." Daphne Greengrass said. "It may have escaped your notice, but <em>this play isn't real<em>."

**Harry: Ron, you had me going there for a minute there buddy.**  
><strong>Ron: Yeah, sorry about that pal, it's just everything she was saying you know, I couldn't...I don't know.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: What?<strong>  
><strong>Ron: Even if that's how she did feel about you and me, well it wouldn't matter. You're my best friend. I would never do anything to hurt you. *Ron and Harry both are choking on emotion* I mean 'cause I love you.<strong>  
><strong>Harry: I love you too man. *They hug*<strong>

Harry and Ron smiled at each other, and shared a brief, but friendly, hug.

**Draco: Well then listen chaps, as fun as this was, I thought destroying the Horcrux would be much harder.**

"I agree. Somehow, that was just too easy. It should have been much harder." Hermione said.

**Harry: Yeah me too.**  
><strong>Ron: When you think about it? Horcruxes are just kind of stupid.<strong>

"Yeah, they are," Harry said.

**Bellatrix: Wands down boys! *Hermione is in her clutches and Ginny in a Death Eater's*  
>Draco: How did you idiots get captured? You were invisible!<br>Hermione: Sorry!**

"Well, that explains everything. Thank you for the incredibly detailed explanation," George said sarcastically.

**Bellatrix: Do it Potter or they die!**  
><strong>Harry: Well, it looks like we have our backs against the wall with nowhere to go. Put your swords down, and wands. *They all drop their weapons.*<strong>

Harry looked a little shocked, and frowned as the characters gave up. 'That would never happen. We would never give up,' he thought to himself. Hermione and Ron were both having the same inner dialogue.

**Bellatrix: Ah, look at Baby Potter, giving orders to his itty bitty diaper friends.**  
><strong>Harry: I'm not a baby. I'm not a baby, I'm twelve.<strong>

"Oh, yeah, I forgot that this Harry was a little kid," Fred said.  
>"That's understandable," Hermione said. "I mean, the actor does look older."<p>

**Snape: What the devil is going on here? *****non-Snape voice* Whoa, déjà vu. I'm sorry. *Snape voice***

"Did he just change his voice halfway through a line?" Ginny Weasley asked.  
>"Yeah, that's weird," Padma Patil agreed.<p>

**Bellatrix: Welcome Snape, I love it! We have Potter and his friends at last.**  
><strong>Hermione: Oh, you are a very mean person!<strong>

"I really don't think that 'mean' quite covers it," Cho Chang said.  
>"No, definitely not. She's evil." Neville Longbottom said this, with a look of hatred for the woman who had tortured his parents to insanity.<p>

**Ron: Yeah, Dumbledore trusted you!**  
><strong>Harry: Yeah, you're a big fat traitor Snape.<strong>

Harry loudly repeated these exact words. He instantly regretted it, as all heads turned to stare at Snape, eager to see his reaction. Beside him, Ron stared at his best friend in awe. "That was brilliant, mate," he said. Hermione hissed, "Harry, you really shouldn't have said that!" Harry chose to ignore both of them, and instead stared defiantly at the professor.  
>The Potions Master raised an eyebrow, yet, to everyone's surprise, didn't say a word. 'Just as arrogant as his father,' he thought.<p>

**Snape: Oh, a traitor am I, Potter? You're exactly right. I am a traitor because I'm about to betray someone. Right now…hi-yah! *He cuts a Death Eater's hand off, freeing Ginny***

"He's on _our _side?" Harry questioned in disbelief. The students openly gawped at their teacher. Snape didn't react to this at all, instead staring at the screen.

**Snape:** **Bat-Bogey Hex!**

Ginny looked disappointed. "That's not even the right incantation!" she yelled.

**Bellatrix: Expelliarmus! Serpentsortia!**  
><strong>Snape: My wiener!<strong>

The students laughed uproariously at this, while Severus Snape looked a little concerned about the safety of his own 'weiner'.

**Harry: Snape, no!**  
><strong>Bellatrix: Oh, don't even think about moving unless anyone of you wants a snake to the wiener. Now come on Potter, you're coming with me. Only the Dark Lord has the right to kill you. Come on! *Harry starts to follow*<strong>

"Why would I want to willingly walk to my own death?" Harry asked. He got no reply.

**Mrs. Weasley: Kids!**  
><strong>Ginny and Ron: Mom?<strong>  
><strong>Harry: Mrs. Weasley?<strong>

Molly Weasley looked a bit scared when her character was introduced, and hoped that nothing bad would happen to her.

**Bellatrix: Who the hell are you?**

"It's our mum!" the Weasley kids, (apart from Percy), shouted.

**Mrs. Weasley: I'm Molly Weasley and those are my kids. Avada Kedavra!**

"Wait, you just killed someone?!" Bill exclaimed.  
>"It would appear so," the real Molly Weasley said, looking faintly amused.<p>

**Bellatrix: Uh, that's not fair.  
>Mrs. Weasley: Die, bitch.<strong>

"Wow! Our mum is so badass!" Fred and George shouted. Mrs Weasley smiled at her family, and Arthur didn't look that shocked that his 'wife' had just murdered someone. It was deadly to be on the wrong side of an angry Molly Weasley.

**Ron: Holy shit, Mom you just killed Bellatrix. I thought you were going to tuck in her shirt or make her do the dishes.**

The Weasley children and Arthur laughed at this. They all could imagine Molly Weasley telling a crazy Death Eater to do some household chores.

**Mrs. Weasley: *She claps her hand over their heads.* Stupid kids! *Ron and Ginny grab their ears.*** **Desperate times call for desperate measures. Even the unforgivable can be considered forgivable sometimes.**

Dumbledore frowned. He did not agree one bit.

**Ginny: What are you doing here?**  
><strong>Mrs. Weasley: I came here with the Order of the Phoenix; Lupin, Tonks, Mad-eye Moody, Sirius Black, and your brother Fred.<strong>

"Hell yeah! I'm in the Order!" Fred shouted. George scowled. "I want to be in the Order too!" he shouted.

**Ron: Oh great, where are they?**  
><strong>Mrs. Weasley: They're all dead.<strong>

"On second thoughts, I'm glad I'm not in that Order." George said.  
>"Wait, I'm dead?" Fred, Lupin, Tonks and Mad-Eye chorused. Sirius, who was in dog form, barked.<br>"Clearly not. You're all sitting here." Harry said, rolling his eyes. However, everyone else was staring at Fred, Lupin, Tonks and Mad-Eye, as if to check that they hadn't suddenly dropped dead in real life.

**Ginny: Fred? No.**

"Don't worry little sister. I'm here and I always be. I mean, George can't harass your future husband all by himself." Fred said. "Isn't that right, George?"  
>George smiled at his twin, but inside, he was hoping that his twin would never leave, because he didn't think that he would be able to survive with one half of himself.<p>

**Mrs. Weasley: Anyway, just came here to save your lives, go back to what you were doing. Disapparate!**

"Well, that was cheerful," Harry said. No one else seemed to have any more words to say, so Umbridge played the next clip.

**A/N: Sorry if you were hoping for an emotional chapter, but I don't really write emotional stuff because I'm not very good at it. Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review! PM or review with any questions, and I hope I'll see you soon!  
>Listening to Generation Me by Delain: 'Come along and I'll show you my world in one hundred forty characters.'<strong>


	23. Author's Note (sorry!)

**Hello everyone, I just want to apologise for not updating for a while, and I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm very sorry to say that this isn't going to be a chapter. Unfortunately, I have my GCSE's starting next week, (for those of you who don't have GCSE's, they're basically major exams that you take when you're 15/16), and these past few months, I have been very focused on revising for those exams. I'm not too sure when exactly I'll be uploading a proper chapter, but most likely it will be in late June or early July, (my last exam is on 19th June), when I have finished my exams and can finally relax. Again, I'm sorry that this isn't a proper chapter, but I hope that you can understand the reason for my lack of updates, and I hope I'll see you again soon with a proper chapter!**

**- Evanescencefan97 (Rachel)**

**P.S. Thank you all very much for your reviews, (over 200?!), favourites and follows. You are all amazing!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hello everyone! I can only apologise for the late update. Writers block, doctors appointments and getting my exam results and sorting out college things left me with a lot less free time to write than I anticipated. Also, ****I've****quite recently started watching the TV show 'Bones', (I'm nearly onto series 2), and I love it so far, so maybe there's a chance that I'll write a Bones/Harry Potter crossover. I'm not too sure when my next update will be, because college starts soon, but I hope it won't be too long. As always, thank you for all your reviews, favourites and follows. They really mean a lot to me!**

**Listening to Ride The Comet by Ayreon**

**Harry: Snape, Snape! Um, Expelliarmus! *snake is taken off his genitals***

"Harry, why is your character saving that git's life?" Ron asked.  
>"I don't know," he replied. "Maybe I feel sorry for the snake. It deserves a bigger meal than that."<br>Ron laughed at this, while Hermione looked disapproving.  
>"Harry!" she hissed. "You shouldn't say that. He might be able to hear you!"<br>"It's Snape," Ron said, acting as though the greasy haired teacher wasn't glaring at him. "Who cares?"  
>Hermione narrowed her eyes at him, and swung her foot under the table with the intention of hitting Ron's leg. Hermione's foot hit her target, causing Ron to wince in pain and glare at his friend.<p>

**Ron: Die, die, die! *stomps snake to death***  
><strong>Hermione: Oh, Harry, this does not look good. That is a coral snake and coral snake is a highly poisonous snake.<strong>

"Great," Snape grumbled. "I'm going to be killed by a highly poisonous snake."

**Snape: She's right. It's too late for me now. Before I go, I need to tell you there is another Horcrux!**

"There just would be, wouldn't there? Typical." Harry complained.

**Hermione: How can that be? All the Horcruxes have been destroyed.  
>Snape: No, there's a seventh one.<strong>

"Yay! I get to go Horcrux hunting!" Harry cheered sarcastically.  
>Meanwhile, Dumbledore was deep in thought. 'Seven Horcruxes? What has Tom done?!"<p>

**Ron: I really hope it's not an Ashley Tisdale poster, I can't do that.**

At this point, no one could even be bothered to ask who Ashley Tisdale was.

**Snape: Check the medallion.**  
><strong>Harry: It doesn't say anything.<strong>  
><strong>Snape: Give it to Granger.<strong>

"Because Hermione is clearly going to find something that no one else can see," Ron muttered sarcastically.

**Hermione: Wait a minute, it says there's one right here but I don't understand.  
><strong>"Apparently, I can find something that no one else can." Hermione said this while smiling slightly at Ron.

**Harry: Yeah.**  
><strong>Snape: Harry, the night Voldemort killed your parents, he tried to destroy you but his body was destroyed instead. When that happened, a part of his soul was blasted away from the whole and attached itself to you.<strong> **Voldemort can never truly die until all of the Horcruxes have been destroyed.**

"Is that true?" Harry asked Dumbledore. "Am I really a Horcrux?"  
>Dumbledore gave him no answer. Harry looked very worried at his Headmaster's silence.<p>

**Hermione: But, if Harry's a Horcrux, I mean, does that mean Harry has to be destroyed?**

Everyone seemed to slowly turn their heads to look at Harry. Harry himself remained silent, and looked as though he was in a state of shock. Hermione and Ron glanced at each other, quickly looking away when they caught each other's eye, and looked worried for Harry.

**Harry: There's got to be another way.**

"Please say there's another way," Ginny said, looking quite upset. "There's got to be another way."

**Snape: No, Potter, I'll show you what you need to do. Watch very carefully. *He dies***

At that point, everyone in the room turned to look at the still alive Snape, who looked a bit shocked that he had been killed off.

**Draco: He didn't even do anything.**

"It's because he's dead!" Harry exclaimed.

**Harry: It's because he's dead you dumb motherfu…**

Mrs Weasley looked at Harry. "Don't you dare finish that sentence!"

**Voldemort: People of Hogwarts, my Death Eaters have taken the castle and your Headmaster Albus Dumbledore is dead. Continue to resist and you will be killed one-by-one. But, there need not be war between us, you've all fought so valiantly and I'm willing to offer you positions in my new world order (as my slaves). Give up now and be forgiven. I command my Death Eaters to stand down. Now, Harry Potter, I speak directly to you. If you do not wish for those close to you to continue to suffer and die on your behalf, you will come face me yourself. I'll be waiting for you in the Forbidden Forest for one hour. At the end of that hour, if you have not come to face me, if you have not turned yourself in, the battle recommences. This time, Potter, I'll shall enter the play myself and I will find you and I will murder every last man ***Ron reacts***, woman ***Hermione reacts***, and child who tries to conceal you from me. Voldemort out, bitches.**

Everyone in the room turned to look at Harry, who sat there, seemingly frozen. He was just staring at the table in front of him. Hermione and Ron in particular, looked understandably upset at the thought of their best friend sacrificing his life.  
>"Harry," Hermione whispered. "You don't have to turn yourself in. We'll do whatever we can to help you, just please don't go to Voldemort."<br>Harry nodded, but deep down, he knew that he would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat if it meant that there wouldn't be any more death on his behalf.

**Hermione: Alright guys, don't worry. We still have an hour. Okay, we just need to come up with a plan.**

"Hermione will come up with a plan, mate. You know she will, and I will do whatever I can to help you," Ron whispered to his best friend.

**Harry: There's no plan Hermione. I know what I have to do. I have to die.**

Ginny looked visibly upset at this. "There must be another way. There's got to be another way," she said quietly.

**Ginny: No-no-no, there's gotta be another way.**  
><strong>Hermione: Well, maybe there's something in this book you know? We could find some sort of enchantment that'll nullify the…<strong>

"As nice a thought that this, I really don't think that there'll be a simple charm to get rid of a Horcrux," Harry said.

**Harry: No-no-no, Hermione, forget about it. There's only one thing to do; I have to die. I love you all, except you Draco. I can't fucking stand you.** **Bye.**

Draco looked slightly offended at this, while Harry quietly laughed.

**Ginny: Harry?**  
><strong>Ron: Harry!<strong>  
><strong>Death Eater: He's not coming my Lord.<strong>

"Thank God!" Ron and Hermione exclaimed.

**Voldemort: It seems that way. Well, Death Eaters, it looks like we're going back to seize the castle. This is what Potter has chosen. Funny, I-I expected…I expected him to come. It seems I was mistaken.**  
><strong>Harry: You weren't.<strong>

"For God's sake, Harry. For once in your life, can you please not be a noble git?!" Ron said, glaring at Harry.  
>"Yeah, Harry! I mean, instead of being known as The-Boy-Who-Lived, you should just be known as The-Boy-Who-Is-Too-Noble-For-His-Own-Good!" Fred said jokingly. Harry smiled a little.<p>

**Voldemort: Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. Crucio!  
>Harry: *drops in pain*<strong> **Ow!**

Neville and Harry both winced at this, but disturbingly, Umbridge's expression was one of sick delight.

**Voldemort: Crucio! You're not even going to fight back? *Harry throws his wand* You're weak. Weak, just like your parents. **

Harry looked furious at this. "They were not weak!" he hissed. Lupin nodded in agreement, and Sirius barked.

**They did not deserve to live in this world, in my world. Prepare to join them, prepare to die. Avada Kedavra!**

Harry and Lupin both scowled, and Sirius barked angrily. Hermione and Rom pulled Harry into a tight hug.  
>"They did deserve to live," Professor McGonagall said, sounding furious.<p>

**Death Eaters: Wohoo! Whoa! Voldy! Voldy! You've done it my Lord. Potter is dead, no one shall ever question your powers again.**

"Yes they will," Dumbledore said. "We didn't stop fighting when Lily and James died, and we're not going to stop fighting now."  
>The Order and DA all nodded in agreement. They all knew that they wouldn't stop fighting until Voldemort was dead and gone forever.<p>

**Voldemort: Yes…**  
><strong>Death Eater: Doesn't this please you my Lord?<strong>

"It wouldn't make me particularly happy to kill someone." Luna said seriously.

**Voldemort: *checking Harry's body* Yeah, yeah it's great. It's great. I just thought it might make me feel less empty inside. Well Death Eaters, let's go back to Hogwarts to tell them what has become of their hero.**

"I'm really not looking forward to this part," Hermione said.  
>"Neither am I." Harry said. "I'm the one who's actually dead, you know."<p>

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I can only apologise for the late update, but if you liked this chapter, don't forget to review! Also, for those of you who watch Doctor Who, what do you think so far of Peter Capaldi's portrayal of the Doctor? I personally really like it so far and the fact that he's a darker Doctor reminds me a lot of Classic Who, particularly Hartnell's Doctor. Your thoughts?**

**Listening to And The Druids Turn To Stone by Ayreon**


	25. Quick update (NaNoWriMo)

**A/N: Hi guys! I am so sorry that this isn't actually a chapter, but this is just a quick update to say that the next update on this story will not be for a while. I am taking part in NaNoWriMo this year, and I also have a lot of coursework, and so unfortunately, I will not have a lot of time to work on this story. Again, I am so, so sorry about this, and I promise that after NaNoWriMo, I will do my best to update this story more regularly. If you want to see my updates for NaNoWriMo, feel free to follow me on my twitter EvNerdfighter**

**- Evanescencefan97**

**(And good luck to anyone else who is taking part in NaNoWriMo this year! We can get through this together!)**


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